Style & Beauty

It's Monday night and it's raining. At home, there is a half-sandwich waiting for me in the fridge, and two episodes of "Homeland" to catch up on. And yet I am in a cab, headed across town to attend the premiere of Chanel's newest advertising campaign, starring Gisele Bündchen and directed by Baz Luhrmann. Because if there is one thing in this world that will convince me to do anything besides go straight home on a rainy Monday, it's Chanel.

Despite some slight exhaustion, I was alert enough to feel the excitement buzzing around the room once I got there. I quickly realized that as expected, this was going to be different than any other red carpet I'd previously covered. Because any event that boasts an Anna Wintour sighting and a Karlie Kloss photobomb at the same event is pretty special. As it turns out, however, I had even more to learn over the course of the next hour than I thought. Here are six of those very important things.

1. Karl Lagerfeld is as in love with his cat as you think.

karl anna

There are certain people who you have no choice but to try and eavesdrop on while they're speaking. Karl Lagerfeld is one of those people. He gushed shamelessly over his very fashionable feline Choupette to other guests, calling her "the most incredible being" he's ever seen.

2. But he's much softer in person than photos may suggest.

In photos, it's easy to assume that Uncle Karl is as tough as his sunglasses and smirk suggest. But after I witnessed him warmly greet guests and rest his hand on the shoulders of anyone he spoke to, it's safe to say his look is well, just a look.

3. Gigi Hadid has never seen an episode of "Girls."

gigi and lily

When a reporter asked which character from "Girls" she would play, Hadid (who has quickly become a staple at every major fashion event), admitted she had never seen the show before, much to her date's dismay.

4. Gisele Bündchen is even more beautiful in real life than she looks on screen.

gisele chanel

We didn't know it was possible for her to look any better, but it is.

5. Not every fashion event is "stuffy."

Guests swooned over a pregnant Eva Chen while Baz Luhrmann and Gisele made funny faces for photos. I think I may have even seen Anna Wintour chuckle. Maybe.

6. Everybody, and I mean everybody, loves Chanel.

There's no denying that the iconic fashion house has the ability to draw buzz, excitement and big names. But the event proved that the iconic brand is not only one of the most important in the business, but that it continues to reinvent itself in a way that makes everyone want to be a part of it.

Click here to see the entire video.

Self-esteem and divorce: When it comes to reinventing yourself at midlife and beyond, they mix together as well as oil and water. At best, your divorce settlement leaves you happy to finally move on. At worst, you're scraping yourself off the floor.

"Pick yourself up and get back in the game, That's life!" -- Frank Sinatra.

But it's not always easy.

Feeling good about the New You takes work.
Start by weeding out old clothes and adorning yourself with new ones.

The day the gavel went down on my divorce, I went directly to my closet and started to pitch out the old stuff. Some of the clothing was more than 25 years old! Clothes were flying off the hanger and into a Goodwill bag.

Make room for new clothes, new energy, a new you!

Last year, I asked my best-dressed colleagues (both men and women) for their best shopping tips as we reinvent ourselves. They met three criteria: They were over 50 years old; they went through a divorce after age 50; and they always look stylish and put-together.

Here are the top tips that I heard consistently.

What's your best advice when shopping for the New You after divorce?

Buy and wear only what you love, no exceptions -- clothes, coats, shoes, jewelry. Everything that goes on your body says, "Yes! I love how I look in this!" Right now, you need all the love you can get.

Know what style looks good on you. Buy it again. And again. It'll never go out of style because it looks good on you.

Buy the best you can afford.

Buy quality, not quantity. It will last longer and you'll feel better when wearing it. If you must shop in re-sale shops, tell yourself that you're there to feel beautiful. Never enter telling yourself that you will find a "deal." Deals are for cars.

Don't be moved by trends or fads. If you think the garment or accessory complements you -- whether it's trendy or has timeless style -- go for it. But don't buy something simply because it's "in."

Listen to your gut. Don't buy something just because the sales associate says you look fabulous. If your gut says no, leave it on the rack.

Take care of your clothes. When they are clean and pressed, you feel stronger, more confident, and zesty. The Colombo look is not cool.

Keep your hair clean, beautiful, and styled. Get expert advice on what looks good on you. Don't get stuck in a hairstyle you wore 30 years ago--unless you want to look like you stepped out of a time warp and a tired marriage.

Don't buy shoes you can't walk in. We've all done it. Resist the urge. Nothing looks so good that you should sacrifice comfort.

Invest in undergarments that make you feel sensual and happy. You want luxury and loveliness next to your skin. Watch the smile on your face. No one will know -- but you will.

Kick your old clothes to the curb! Reinvent the New You with new outfits that make you smile and say, "Watch out world. Here I come!"

Contact me personally if you need help concerning your own personal challenges.

To start your day feeling good about the New You, get my morning inspirations to get you energized for the day ahead. Click here for my 30-day audio download of inspirational (and often funny) messages to kick start your day for 30 days.

Artisan perfumer Mandy Aftel is a fragrance tour guide, guiding you on a scent journey through history, filled with cultural touchstones and alchemy. The backdrop to the aromatic adventure is what Mandy calls the five "landmark scents" from around the world: cinnamon, mint, frankincense, ambergris and jasmine.

Fragrant: The Secret Life of Scent is Mandy's exploration into a world of mystery, power, medicinal practices and the pure pleasure of perfume. The author, who is also the creative force behind Aftelier Perfumes writes, "Lands have been discovered and conquered for the sake of perfumed materials." According to Mandy, mankind has a common desire for the exotic, the familiar, transcendence, the curious and beauty. As she writes, "Scent is a portal to these basic human appetites."

I spent time with Mandy one recent afternoon at her Arts & Crafts home in Berkeley, California that serves as her perfume atelier. She embodies the eclectic, bohemian spirit you'd expect to find here. "I love love research," she exclaims. "I'm a maniac in the research department." That is evident in Fragrant, which is full of quotes on the power of perfume or the role it has played in society over the eons. There are historical drawings she's found, showing the art of perfumery going back to the earliest of civilizations.

Talking to Mandy, her passion for all things fragrant just exudes from her. She speaks with such enthusiasm and energy. "Have you ever smelled real ambergris? Oh you just have to smell this!" When she talks, it is as if there is so much in her head she wants to tell you that she can't get it out fast enough.

On this day Mandy's excited because she just received the final version of the book, and she loves how the book's jacket turned out, which is rich and textured. It's done in purple ink (her favorite color) on a red background, inspired by an engraving from 1575 of harvesting cinnamon bark from a tree on the Moluccan Islands in Indonesia.

In Fragrant, you get the sense, so to speak, that the old world was a much more fragrant place than our modern world. Mandy says in many ways we've lost our sense of smell, thanks to industrialization and being more in tune to our others senses of sight, sound and feel. True, the world wasn't always a great smelling place, and perfume was definitely used to mask foul odors. But for centuries, fragrances were prized not only for their aromas, but also for their uses in medicinal cures, as flavorings and for sheer indulgence.

It is fascinating to look at cinnamon as the "queen of the Spice Route," commanding high prices, when today, it's more common now as a synthetic aroma and flavor. Mandy writes that cinnamon was a symbol of luxury. A king had a crown covered in cinnamon and gold. Myths about how it was guarded by bats and other creatures sprung up around it.

"Mint is the opposite of cinnamon," Mandy says. Mint is native to everywhere, but very American, playing a large roll with western pioneers and the peddlers and "weird carney shows" that developed as culture of their own. This fragrant herb is a symbol of hospitality. In the Middle East you are served tea; in the United States we offer gum or mints. Mandy says mint is a reminder of home, "what is a familiar and underfoot."

"Frankincense is about man's appetite for spirituality, transcendence," Mandy says. Burning frankincense replaced the blood in human and animal sacrifice. Ambergris, the sea-cured vomit of the sperm whale, with, believe it or not, an alluring animalic aroma, satisfies man's hunger for wonder, for the curious. You can only imagine how the first chunks of ambergris floating on the ocean waters was found and how it became such a prized ingredient in perfumery.

Mandy relates the story of how home curiosity cabinets were the precursors to the modern day museums of natural history. "Wealthy people long ago would collect these odd specimens of nature, including stuff that smelled," she says. Mandy equates this to Pinterest today, where we display an odd collection of things that interest and delight us, with no explanations. We just put it out there to show and share.

Finally, jasmine is all about beauty. "Jasmine grandiflorum," Mandy writes, "is arguably the world's most important perfume material." Jasmine is floral yet has an earthy, almost dirty, fecal underlying character that makes it irresistible. She uses jasmine as a way to talk about "being an artisanal perfumer and the importance and beauty it administers to the soul and how important it is to have beauty in your life."

"I'm hoping all these ingredients will come alive for people, that they'll get turned on by knowing the history and the provenance and the special stories," Mandy says.

Each chapter concludes with food and fragrance recipes, and Mandy encourages readers to explore each of the five fragrances in the book. In fact she created a companion kit of all five aromas, so you can smell them while you read. It's better than scratch and sniff. She encourages you to add a drop of the mint essence to tea, or using the cinnamon essence to create a homemade "Coca-Cola." And yes, you'll actually get to smell real ambergris too, in a liquid form called a tincture.

"For me everything I do is based in my love of materials," Mandy tells me. "My work is based on my love of materials and how I want to share that with people."

One way Mandy is sharing that love is through her newest perfume, Palimpsest, which was inspired by her research on Fragrant. She came across books from Italy called books of secrets. "They were an amalgam of magic, scent and sorcery medicine," she says.

Mandy also took inspiration from a type of manuscript called palimpsest, where older text is erased and written over. Some of the old text is still visible under the new text. "You can see the old writing coming through from the back like on a scroll," she says. So she layered Palimpsest to create a similar effect, of the base notes of the perfume coming through the top notes seamlessly.

Palimpsest unfolds in a lovely, fresh bouquet of florals. As time goes on, the aroma transforms into something more exotic, warm and heady, thanks to the base of real ambergris.

Fragrant: The Secret Life of Perfume comes out on October 16. Mandy will be doing a series of personal appearances and book signings, which you can find out about here. I'm looking forward to Mandy's upcoming discussion at the Jewish Community Center in San Francisco on November 5th with noted Bay Area chef Daniel Patterson, with whom Mandy co-wrote the book Aroma. She and Daniel love exploring the role of fragrance in flavor. They're also collaborating on a second book, focusing on aromatic flavors.

I'm Guilty.

Guilty of ordering the cheapest thing on the menu.

In fact, in the past, I've chosen to pass on what I really wanted because of the price. I'm talking about a five dollar difference.

Will that $5 make or break me?

Nope, and yet, I still found myself ordering the cheapest or cheaper item on the menu.

It rarely mattered whether I was paying, or whether someone else was paying. This money based way of looking at the menu had become a habit. And it was a habit of being cheap with myself that had started to spill over into other areas of my life as well.

Now, this isn't the same situation as scoring a fabulous deal on something I love. Because no matter how much money I have in my bank account, I will always love the feeling of getting exactly what I want for a great price.

But this 'ordering cheap' habit is a sign of something else, something deeper, something about what I thought I was worth.

I know I'm not alone here. As women, we have a hard time doing nice things for ourselves on a regular basis. I'll bet you ten bucks that you would spend money right now on a gift for your bestie, your kiddo or your honey without even blinking. But when it comes to spending that extra bit on YOU, you're waiting for some external permission or special occasion to splurge.

Before you begin to roll out all of the excuses, I invite you to take a deep breath. Come on, join me ... take a deep breath right now and really feel into that exact moment of deciding whether or not to buy that slightly nicer item for yourself, buying that more expensive thing on the menu that you really want, or investing in yourself or your business because it's the next step for you.

Did you hesitate? Ask yourself why that is?

Here's what I know to be true for me. The women that I have been blessed to work with and to know in my lifetime are the most generous, beautiful souls that I am honored to walk with on this beautiful life path. And they all have something in common, they do for others first. Yes, this is a generous and giving quality.

But when that same sense of giving is not also flowing to yourself, there is a level of sacrifice of self that begins to eat away at your spirit.

I know that somewhere deep inside of you, you're feeling the stirring of the importance of giving yourself the time, the space and the gifts that you so freely give to others. For so many of us, we look at taking time for ourselves as something that we'll do later when we have extra time in the day. And so we continue to put ourselves off for yet another day.

What does this have to do with ordering the cheapest thing on the menu?

When you truly deeply and unwaveringly feel the power of self-worth and self-love flowing towards yourself, you won't have that internal negotiation about ordering what you really want. You won't put yourself last on the list.

When you know your own beautiful self-worth, you will ask for what you want and what you need. You'll say yes when you want to. And you'll say no when you mean it. You'll do it with kindness and integrity because that's how you roll. But you'll say what needs to be said. That's the power of knowing you're worth it.

When you treat yourself as well as you do your bestie, you will glow with the radiance of self-love and knowing that the time you give to yourself to re-charge and re-fill will be a gift to everyone around you.

Why self-care? Here are some of the words my clients use after implementing self-care strategies:

I have more energy

I feel rejuvenated

I'm inspired

I'm actually more patient with my kids and spouse

I love my time alone, it totally inspires new ideas in my business

I am painting again!

My sex-life is better ... I didn't expect that!

I KNOW I'm worth it ... and am investing in ME and my business. And it feels JUICY!

I know I can enjoy daily luxuries because I'm WORTH it.

My days feel effortless.

Yup, these are the side-effects of Divine Self-Care and self-worth.

So the next time you're ordering from the menu or looking at your weekly calendar - I challenge you to get what you REALLY want, and to make an appointment with YOU to do nothing or exactly what you've been wanting to do, not a smaller version of it. In your heart simply say, "Because I'm worth it" as an answer to that voice of doubt.

Because I know that you are here for a reason. There is something that you were born with, a gift, a treasure that you alone possess. It's the gift that the your tribe is waiting for. And you can't fully share your treasure unless you find the space to nurture yourself.

Now I'd love to hear from you.

How can you commit to taking Divine Care of YOU today?

Have you found yourself saying NO to yourself and instead ordering the cheaper item?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Jimmy Choo once said that he, "loved the idea of couture and its emphasis on creation." At only 14 years old Calderin may not have known exactly what he wanted to become, but he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wanted to create.

And create he did. Having trained as a fashion designer at the High School of Fashion Industries, Calderin learned the art of couture and later went on to begin his career working for luxury clothing licensors, then as a photographer, professor and talented fashion designer whose work has graced the pages of Vogue and Elle Magazine.

After moving to Boston in 1989 and finding himself enchanted by the emerging designer scene, Calderin founded and became the Executive Director of Boston Fashion Week.

Now, with Boston Fashion Week celebrating 20 years, the author and professor at the School of Fashion Design on Newbury Street sat down with Style by Zoey to talk about where it all began.

When did your love affair with couture begin?

"I have to give credit for that first experience with couture to Mrs. Garofalo, one of my teachers at the High School of Fashion Industries in New York. She ran her classroom like an haute couture atelier, demanding that we produced garments which were as beautiful on the inside as they were on the outside. They also had to be fitted with great precision. I never looked at clothing the same way after her class. And although our industry does produce great quantities of uninspired, disposable clothing, the promise of this level of excellence keeps my love affair with fashion alive."

Having been to New York Fashion Week several times myself, I couldn't help but notice the difference in pacing at the runway show of "The Launch," was this intentional?

"It was intentional. I don't believe that fashion is meant to be devoured, it's meant to be seen and enjoyed...slowly."

Like a good meal?

"Exactly. Much like a chef can appreciate what went into cooking a meal, I wanted the audience to admire the time and precision that went into crafting each designers collection. Bill Cunningham once said, "he who seeks beauty will find it," by pacing the show as I did, my hope was that the audience would be able to slow down and do just that."

You mentioned wanting to educate the fashion industry beyond the "small, medium, large mentality," how do you think this can be accomplished?

"I think it's a matter of exposure and encouragement. You now see more companies focusing on transparency regarding sustainable, organic, and fair trade products, but as an industry we need to expose the public to the ideas and processes behind fashion so that they understand and appreciate what goes into producing creative quality clothing. We also need to encourage consumers not to settle for generic fit or finish when it comes to the clothes they wear."

I couldn't agree with you more. With that in mind, I am a firm believer in consumers investing in wardrobe staples that stand the test of time both in quality and style. What is one investment item you think every man should have in their closet?

"Comfortable, well made shoes. Preferably classics like brown wingtips or black chelsea boots."

What was your favorite fashion show from Boston Fashion Week over the past 20 years?

"Over the years my favorite shows have usually been designer debuts because they're so full of hope and they give you a glimpse into the future. But if I'm honest, I have to admit that there is a special place in my heart for the first ten years of Boston Fashion Week when I was presenting a new exhibition collection of my own almost every year. There is no substitute for being in the heart of it or for the thrill of putting your own ideas on the line. I miss making. I think there is at least one big collection left in me."

One last collection that I have no doubt will allow new generations to see fashion for what it truly is, an art form. After all, at the heart of Calderin is a man who not only has an insatiable thirst to create, but also to inspire through teaching.
Williams Butler Yeats once wrote that, "Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." After speaking with Calderin, I think its safe to say he has several fires he has yet to light. Here's to hoping he finds that match.

Written by: Zoey Gulmi
Photography by: Joel Benjamin and Tracy Aiguier.

After reading a few pages of "Women in Clothes," I knew that I wanted to base my reviews on my ever-changing and inconsistent personal style woes which I am currently experiencing. Ever since I've turned 25, I realize that I have nothing to wear, and every day, I want to give all my clothes to the local Salvation Army and start over. However, I'm not sure if this current mentality coincides with the fact that the season has recently changed or the fact that nothing is really constant in my life right now (because as they say- I'm deep in the throes of my twenties.)

I came to this realization within the first few pages of reading "Women in Clothes," and since then, I've transformed a few of my opinions, buying patterns and changing my overall perspective on clothing, in a good way. The book commences with a Skype conversation between the three leading authors, Sheila Heti (How Should a Person Be), Heidi Julavits (founding editor of The Believer), and Leanne Shapton (Co-founder of J&L Books). Each author leisurely confessed that nothing changed since their last conversation, and it may have been due to where they are in their lives. I thought about how their "nothing new" mindset is probably related to their sense of personal style and why my changing lifestyle is a reflection of my non-existent (unidentifiable) personal style.

I'd also like to casually slip in that I managed to contribute some of my stylish thoughts to the book (just a few paragraphs about being black, and my love of gift-giving). Anyway, I started the book on a Friday evening and wasn't able to put it down until the last page on that Sunday night. It's a book full of insight on clothes, unique thoughts about why women wear what they wear, and the stories behind significant outfits. The book also incorporates the sad lifestyle of factory workers in third-world countries and the clothes they manufacture (but can't afford) for American retailers and the much-needed explanation of getting dressed as required by differing religions.

From the beginning of the book, each author broke down their connection to fashion and the jobs and projects that they have worked on in a conversational format. I was intrigued by how much the book aims to reject mainstream fashion, specifically calling out Vogue and the general "fake stuff", clogging advertisements aimed at females requiring them to look a certain way. Do we all need to follow whatever trends an editor is "obsessed with" even if we aren't so sure how to rock it?

Women in Clothes is a philosophical approach on fashion, as it sort of democratizes fashion with a lower case "f" and decreases how intimidating it can be to talk about it in a fun way and through a public forum. For example, the excerpts on compliments throughout the book are unique, and call to attention the dialogue of women complimenting each other. Personally, I love getting compliments by complete strangers on the street or in public bathrooms while primping in the mirror. It's my way of connecting with different people I wouldn't normally talk to.
The artwork is as equally quirky with photographs of one contributor's trench coat and stripe shirt collections to random lipstick blots and photocopied hands. There are stories about hereditary style passed down from grandmother to daughter and subsequently granddaughter, a transgender man's insight on clothing, how aging affects style, and even how wearing makeup or eyeglasses play into getting dressed. One ongoing question that the book addresses is the difference between getting dressed and getting dressed up. While some people may have a clear distinction of the two , it's really about the individual's unique lifestyle. In the book, there is a response to a survey question where a girl remembers when her boss gave her a Dior suit as a gift, and despite the fact that she quit the position, she never wanted to sell it. Meanwhile, my survey responses were about my love of gift-giving and recalling my favorite item which I gifted my sister. I also wrote about my hair (obviously) and the point when I started to feel comfortable with wearing my natural curls. It's funny to see how all these voices fit together in one book and I realized how much we all have in common, even if it's not apparent at first glance..

Here are a few ideas from the book that got me going...

Leanne''s STONER/GAY theory: I literally laughed for five minutes on the Uptown C-Train on my way back from from work, and a few people were staring at me holding this thick book in my hand, wondering what could possibly be so hilarious. The lead author Sheila Heti introduces this concept of how people dress based on her stoner- gay theories and it couldn't be more accurate. Today's style, especially street style, is mixed with this rebel, 80's punk mentality alongside an obsession with J Crew and Zara fashions. If wearing army fatigue with a wool black fedora isn't stoner-gay-ish, then I don't know how else I could possibly understand Sheila's theory...

"I do care about your party" : There are a few stories about how religion play a role in personal style that really bring clarity to why some women choose to wear a veil living in a world driven by pop culture. One woman spoke about her feelings wearing religious garments throughout grade school, and how a classmate's compliment gave her a lifetime of confidence. And there's another powerful, yet humorous essay about why one woman who wears a hijab doesn't think her body is any of the public space's business. I thought this woman's passionate and sassy argument about why she chooses to wear the jilbab and hijab was not only powerful, but also relatable in the sense of why some may get dressed to draw attention away from the physically sexual attributes that stir unwanted compliments. Not only was this writer truthful in her passionate argument about getting dressed for a party, she's allowing herself to be free from the street harassment that happens daily and is disgustingly plaguing America's urban cities. I really loved this essay.

The evolution of Clothes: A numerical manifesto of clothing and how we acquire them in society is presented in a futuristic point of view. The manifestos are so left-field, it alludes to rejecting retail and returning to trading and finding clothing. The excerpt describes the value of clothing in stores, and why the more luxurious items are guarded under spotlights, bringing meaning to how sacred types of clothing can appear to the buyer or the window shopper which furthers our collective identities of the role our clothes play in culture. Interestingly enough, it highlights the surplus of clothing and how there are so many methods to obtain clothing for us to act in the way that we do. That is to say, maybe we should change the way we look and the way we purchase clothing in the first place. Is it really necessary to spend so much money on one item? The Stella McCartney dress I've been lusting over since I tried it on at a Saks Pre-Sale last year is still the price of my rent. Yet, it keeps on resurfacing into my style mood, and it's even named in this book! It's haunting me guys - seriously. Should I buy it? Meanwhile, it's up for debate whether we should be placing more value on second-hand items or creating a way for other people to reap the benefits of clothing that no longer holds importance in our lives.

To read more about the book and survey responses, go here: women in clothes.

People often ask me -- usually at parties -- if I walk around every day critiquing peoples' outfits. While I can turn my critical eye on and off, and I certainly never go up to anyone and give them my opinion unsolicited, there are certain mistakes that I see consistently. If you're someone who cares about how he looks (and I assume if you're reading this article, you are), read on for three common men's style errors and how to easily nip them in the bud.

1) Loafers with your suit - I get it. Traveling in lace-ups is no fun. Try a monkstrap instead, like the pair above. You can slip in and out of them, and they work with a suit.

2) Wearing pants that are too big in the waist - If your belt loops are pulling up when you tighten your belt like in the picture above, it means the waist on your pants is too big, and you run the risk of having diaper butt. Go down a size and your pants and belt won't work against each other.

3) Mismatching themes - I often see guys in preppy polo shirts or khakis wearing things that are edgy in feel (like a biker jacket or boots) elsewhere in their outfit. It doesn't work. If one piece in your outfit is preppy or conservative, the whole look should be such. Likewise, if one piece in your outfit has an edge to it, the rest of your outfit should too. For example, you wouldn't wear a rough and tumble boot like these with a pair of traditional khakis. A pair of dark jeans or dress pants would suit them much better.

Have you ever made any of these mistakes? Fess up! I'd love to hear where things have gone awry for you. Leave a comment below, and perhaps I can offer some additional solutions.

Women over 60 have lived through six dynamic decades. We have navigated life's many twists and turns. We have studied the world, protested injustices, raised families, navigated the business world and, now, we are getting ready to "retire." Along the way, we have become comfortable in our own skin. After all, our bodies have supported us through 60+ years of life. Then, just when things seem stable, our bodies start to change again.

Nothing can prepare us for the changes that take place in our bodies after menopause. Everything seems to happen overnight -- although, of course, the process is gradual. Our hips, breasts, legs and arms are transformed in ways that no-one told us to expect. Inside, we feel like ageless, vibrant young women, but, on the outside, we are slowly turning into our grandmothers.

If we were like previous generations of women, we might be able to "age gracefully." But, for most boomer women, this isn't our style. Women over 60 today are challenging stereotypes and living life with verve and passion. We don't want to be "invisible." We still want to look and feel our best. Unfortunately, as I discovered while filming a series of fashion videos for older women, this is not as simple as it sounds.

The Problem With Fashion For Women Over 60

Looking at a full-length mirror after 60 is like running a gauntlet filled with emotional traps, irrational comparisons and destructive media messages. We know that the "anti-aging" messages that we see are nonsense, but, we still feel like we should have the right to be desirable and fashionable.

Most women I know respond to this dilemma in one of two ways. Either, they give in and adopt the latest potions, pills and trends that bombard them every day. Or, they stop caring what other's think all together. On the surface, this second option sounds desirable -- even noble. I've even had people tell me that I am putting women over 60 in a box by even talking about fashion. After all, shouldn't people just accept us for who we are?

There are two problems with the "I don't care what people think" approach to fashion for women over 60. First, most people, deep down, really do care how they look to others. It's a part of human nature. Second, and more important, why shouldn't women over 60 have the right to be desirable? Surely there's a "golden mean" here somewhere, if we look for it. Why can't we express ourselves, while applying the rules of technical dressing to choose clothes that fit our body types perfectly?

In my opinion, we can have the best of both worlds. We can love our bodies and care about the image that we present to the world. We can be independent and fashionable.

The One Fashion Tip Every Older Woman Needs To Apply

Visiting Milan to film with fashion expert Melanie Payge was a turning point for me. Over the course of two days, I learned how to find clothes that match my body type, discovered secrets for addressing my perceived flaws and studied the art of accessorizing. But, throughout the whole trip, one tip stood out. I realized that there is one person in the fashion industry that should be your best friend. No, I'm not talking about a new designer or even a personal stylist (although Melanie is fantastic!) I'm talking about your tailor.

In a world filled with mass-produced goods of every kind, it's unrealistic to think that clothes will fit perfectly "out of the box." This is especially true for clothing for older women for a couple of reasons. First, despite the fact that we represent a huge market, designers still haven't gotten around to designing clothes just for us. Second, as we age, our bodies change in fascinating, and often unpredictable, ways. For example, if you are like many women, you may be a 12 or 14 on top, but, a 16 or 18 on the bottom. You are almost certainly dealing with changes in your skin, muscle tone and body shape.

This is one of the many reasons that a good tailor is your best friend. A tailor's job is to make sure that your clothes fit perfectly, not "just ok." If your wardrobe essentials fit perfectly, then you will have more flexibility to accessorize and bring out your individuality. In this way, tailoring is one of the main pillars of technical dressing after 60.

As Melanie explained, the foundation for our wardrobe after 60 should be a set of four perfectly fitting "wardrobe essentials." These include a dress, a pair of pants, a top and a sleeve to cover your arms when needed. If you get these items tailored perfectly, there is no limit to the number of fabulous outfits that you can create with the right accessories.

Right about now, I can hear many of you saying, "That's all very well, but, I'm not made of money. Tailoring is so expensive." It's a fair point. That said, when you think about the amount of money that we waste on belts to hold up our poorly fitting pants, replacement shirts and other items, tailoring is a bargain.

Accepting Your Body is Actually a Part of Looking Great

When I talk with the members of the Sixty and Me community about fashion-related topics, I get strong reactions. The majority of women are just happy that someone is trying to provide no-fluff information on a topic that they care about. Some, however, still insist that we should just "accept our bodies and not worry about what other people think." Personally, I don't see a contradiction. In fact, accepting your body is an essential part of looking your best after 60.

If you are always buying jeans that are 2 sizes too small, because you "know" that you're going to lose 10 pounds this year, you're making a mistake. You're likely to end up with clothes that, at best, feel a bit uncomfortable and, at worst, look ridiculous.

While there are plenty of reasons to get in better shape after 60, fitting someone else's idea of an "ideal" body isn't one of them. Conversely, if you want to look your best, getting clothes that fit perfectly is essential. You won't be able to do this until you can look in the mirror with acceptance and love for your body in all of its wonderful complexity.

Women over 60 are special. Each of us has earned the right to be ourselves and express our individuality. At the same time, we are pragmatic; we want people to speak honestly and not just tell us what they think we want to hear. This is certainly true when it comes to fashion. So, if you want to look your best in your 60s, my advice is this -- be honest, be real and love yourself and your tailor.

Are you a woman over 60 with a passion for fashion? What steps are you taking to look and feel your best in your 60s, 70s or 80s? Please add your thoughts in the comments section below and check out our other fashion tips for older women on our website.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

Is this really the time, during the Holidays, to make a big change in your hair style? I say, "Yes!"

Hair is about expression, and if you've been 'expressing' the same thing for a long time, you probably need to make a change for its own sake. There is no better time to make that move than during the 'see-and-be-seen' party season.

Hair is not simply about what other people see. What we do with our hair molds the way we feel about ourselves, too, which (dare I say) may be why we hesitate. We can feel the uncertainty in our anticipation.

On the other hand, 'it's just hair,' and the truly great thing about hair is that it grows, which makes this canvas very forgiving. If we don't like the style we just did, we can change that, too. Whatever we do, it's not final. "Phew!"

Pros and cons of rockin' the top for the Holidays:

PROS:
• We can make a big splash. The Holidays are laced with red-carpet opportunities and everyone is anticipating gifts and renewal and parties so, when you show up with a new style, that's one more ornament on the tree! Go for it!
• We're changing our hair anyway. This is the time of year that we move from the beachy blondes to the darker shades, including those elegant reds and warm mocha colors. We've had our hair down ... time to go up. We've been in high ponytails, now let those shiny black waves wash over our shoulders.
• We already made appointments with our stylists! ... You did make your Holiday season appointments, didn't you?

CONS:
• I can only think of one. You don't like it. What to do? Don't worry. Change it again. If you're headed for the company Christmas party, be honest with your stylist ... no need for sarcasm or yelling. Consider that, while it may not be exactly what you had in mind, it's still pretty cool and you can be happy with it. In the unlikely event that it is an obvious disaster, remain calm and encourage your stylist to help you with a solution. Almost certainly, she will want to make it work.

ADVICE:
• Have your phone loaded with hair photos when you head for the salon. You are much more likely to get what you want.
• If you go in without photos and ask your stylist to brainstorm, be ready for a cooperative effort.
• If you want a dramatic style change, make sure your appointment is long enough to make it happen.
• Unless you know your stylists very well, be cautious about making big style changes the same day as an important party.
• Be ready to change, and to change again. This has got to be the best defense against disappointment. Whatever you do with your hair, (I'm repeating myself) it isn't permanent.
• I think the prospect of change is hardest for people who've been in a rut. Almost by definition, they want 'out,' but taking that step can be tough. Consider a versatile color and trim. Then, for the first party, go with a high bun, for the next, drop it into a wavy bob, and for New Year's Eve gather your hair in a romantic chignon with a braid and strand of gold filigree.

Be open to change ... Love change!

Be an active part of Breast Cancer Awareness month and shop these great grabs, all of which donate part of their proceeds to Breast Cancer research or a specific charity.

Not Just Pretty Lip Service

Gloss for a cause from Bobby Brown -- four ultra-pretty pinks that will make lips shimmer: Pretty Pink Sheer Lip Gloss, Pink Tulle High Shimmer Lip Gloss; Bright Lilac Lip Gloss and Soiree Pink Shimmer Lip Gloss.
When you purchase this gorgeous limited edition set, Bobbi Brown will donate $12 of every sale to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

A Perfect Flowery Finish

Tory Burch is proud to partner with The Breast Cancer Research Foundation and have created this exclusive style to support the cause. The Printed Scarf features sprays of pretty pink flowers on a square of ultra-fine silk. It's a great lightweight layer that lends a pop of cheerful pattern to any look.

Tory Burch is donating 20 percent from this purchase to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation® up to a maximum of $35,000. BCRF is dedicated to advancing the world's most promising research to eradicate breast cancer in our lifetime.

A Fashionable Step in the Right Direction

All of us have known someone impacted by breast cancer - a mother, an aunt, a sister or a friend. To fight this terrible disease, it is critical that we continue to raise funds for research and awareness. Cape Cod Shoe Supply Co.'s Breast Cancer flip flop supports Play for P.I.N.K. and The Breast Cancer Research Foundation, with a 10 percent donation of sales of this product.

The pink flip flop says "When the waters get rough, the tough diver deeper." As every woman knows, sometimes when the going gets rough, we dive deep within ourselves and find strength we didn't know we had. The quote honors all of the women who have been affected with breast cancer. The bright pink, white and deep pink color way is fun and light hearted, but also sends a message. You care about women's health. Step out in style and show what you've got.

Magic in the Message

Unfortunately breast cancer will affect all of our lives in one way, shape or form. A positive attitude, love, friendship, and encouragement are all needed to "Fight like a Girl". Effie's Paper has taken the fight to a new level by using the motto on their pretty pink Breast Cancer Awareness notecards. 50 percent of the proceeds from each set will go to Girls Love Mail and their Mile of Mail campaign.

Toasting to a Cure

Entertain with ONEHOPE Chardonnay, blended of grapes from select vineyards throughout Napa, Sonoma, and the Central Coast of California. Fresh flavors of apple blossom and honeysuckle make it a wine for anytime. ONEHOPE donates half of the profits from the sale of every bottle to Gateway to Cancer Research to provide trials for women to treat and cure breast cancer.

Passionate for a Cure

Laura Slatkin, Founder and CEO of NEST Fragrances, created the PASSION Candle to honor the memory and the extraordinary achievements of Evelyn H. Lauder, Founder of The Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

PASSION combines the essences of blooming peony and dewy garden roses with warm sandalwood and a hint of flowering pittosporum, Evelyn Lauder's beloved fragrance note. It also just won Interior Scent Collection of the Year! at the Fragrance Foundation Awards, who knew a candle could do so much good and be so fabulous!

Perfect Pout

Delight in giving back. This special collection of lip balms from EOS includes limited edition Strawberry Sorbet Smooth Stick lip balm, Pomegranate Raspberry Smooth Sphere lip balm, and Berry Blossom hand lotion.

A portion of proceeds will benefit breast cancer research.

Have you ever wondered what our world would be like if charitable giving was a part of every business model? I know I have. While it's a given that any philanthropist wants to have wealth trickle back to society in a way that has the most impact by tackling the world's biggest problems and funding the most likely solutions the question that remains is where to begin. For me, the answer is a rather obvious one. We must begin with the premise that every life is of equal value. There in lies the starting point.

A truth that is as simple as it is complicated as the needs are, seemingly endless.
One day, as I sipped on a Latté and perused my morning paper, I read that Americans spend over 250 billion dollars annually on Fashion. Yup, I said billion. Needless to say, it got me thinking about how I could help redirect some of that cash flow back into society's most desperate sectors by empowering and encouraging the consumer to give back, thus enabling our economy to feed itself. From the experience I had drawn over a decade of working in the fashion industry in merchandising, marketing, luxury publishing and styling, I was well aware of the impact that technology already had on products, services, and retailers and I knew I wanted to use that same technology as a catalyst to create positive and lasting change. This is when Style by Zoey was born.

At Style by Zoey I am always striving to achieve a balance between my business of high end consumerism and giving back through not only doing makeovers for deserving women, but also creating products with a purpose and introducing companies to charities to create what I call "style with heart" collaborations.

Recently, during a conversation with Cathy the owner of Cathy Cross, an upscale trendy boutique, I mentioned my idea of having a clothing drive for the women at Dress for Success, a charity I volunteer for that promotes the economic independence of disadvantaged women by providing professional attire, a network of support and the career development tools for women to thrive in work and in life by helping them to foster the self-confidence and resiliency needed to realize their greatest potential.

Luckily for me, Cathy has a heart as big as her closet and with a simple nod of her head, the Dress for Success "Style with Heart" night was born.

Each guest of the event brought in their new and used business attire and enjoyed an evening shopping Cathy Cross's latest Fall collections as they enjoyed sips and sweets and entered to win prices. The best part? That evening, the women who attended not only expanded their wardrobes but also those of the women at Dress for Success.
Now that's what I call style with heart.

To learn more about how to get involved with "the business of giving" and my "style with heart" collaborations, please visit my website Style by Zoey Together, I'm certain we can transform the role of consumerism in our society and allow for wealth to trickle back into the system of production all while satisfying our need for the occasional covet-worthy indulgence.

By Zoey Gulmi

At one time or another, we all fly. Weddings, funerals, or vacations all require a boarding pass and a high level of patience. Flying has come a long way, but unless you've got a little extra cash to go first or business class, coach still leaves much to be desired in terms of comfort and ease. Whether you're a frequent flyer or a once a year traveler, here are some easy tips for planning and executing a stress-free flying experience.

1. If at all possible, take your bag with you.
Lost luggage can be a real deal breaker, not to mention having to tack at least half an hour into your airport experience waiting at the conveyor belt. There are some great options out there for lightweight, roomy bags that will fit a week's worth of outfit options without majorly wrinkling your stuff or risking a shampoo spill. Splurge on one with an aluminum shell for the durability and rest easy knowing you won't have to spend a day shopping for necessities upon arrival.

2. Once you've found the perfect bag, refine your packing.
Spend the extra organization time thinking about where you're going, how long you're going to be there, and what you will realistically be doing. Be logical and forget the fancy dress or suit you think you might wear at an upscale restaurant and pack practical items you know look good on you. If you need something you didn't pack, it should be a special piece that you can find at your destination. Your favorite jeans, a smart blazer, and comfortable t-shirts and shoes are great basic options that you can build upon. Jewelry (absolutely not anything expensive, especially if you have to check luggage) can always take an outfit to the next level. There's also no reason to pack excessive amounts of undergarments--hand washing in a hotel bathroom sink is perfectly acceptable and smart.

3. Refine your carry-on.
There are so many wallets, bags, passport holders that claim to make traveling easy breezy. Personally, I have never encountered a passport holder that I did not have to constantly zip and unzip or open and reopen to retrieve my boarding pass, money, credit card, or ID. It's tedious and dangerous because the potential for things to fall out unnoticed is greater. Keep it simple: get a shoulder bag that can hold your computer, iPad, a few books, and a water bottle (and any other small item you deem essential). Inside that, keep a pouch that will hold your smartphone, passport, boarding pass, cash, and a credit card. You will always know where the important things are; the rest is tucked safely in your luggage.

4. Think about your health.
If you're taking a cross country or trans Atlantic flight, it helps to have some products on hand to ease the stress that flying puts on your body. A great moisturizing cream for your face and/or body to combat dryness, a rinse free hand wash to keep germs at bay, and a giant bottle of water will make you look and feel much better during and after the flight. Considering all of the germs that regularly circulate through planes, a highly concentrated dose of vitamin C taken once to sit down can ward off any viruses potentially coming your way.

5. The plane outfit.
Comfort, comfort, comfort. That's the idea of any outfit for the plane, but we all know style must play a role. Key items are slip on shoes, leggings or wrinkle free pants (that don't require a belt), a soft t-shirt, a wrap around scarf, a blazer, and some extra socks for a chilly cabin. After that, it's just extra stuff that will take up space in your seat. Keep in mind there is always a chance (albeit small) that you could have an upgrade randomly bestowed upon you. Common sense is that the nicer you look, the more chance you have of this happening. Dress smart and you just might get to board the plane and turn left.

6. Choose your seat.
Window? Aisle? Middle? What do you prefer? A window gets bothered less, but if you do have to get up its much more of a pain. This is also where checking out the aircraft can make a difference. Is it rows of 2 or 3? How far front or back are you? Companies like JetBlue now offer extra legroom seats for $15 each way, or you can always opt to sit in the exit row.

7. In flight entertainment and relaxation.
A great pair of headphones that blocks outside noise and lets you drift off to sleep to the sounds of your own music and nothing else is a great investment for flying. Being able to forget about the screaming baby or signaling to the chatterbox siting next to you that you really don't want to talk are invaluable, especially on a long flight. If you don't have a personal TV and didn't think to download any movies onto your iPad, a book is a great standby. Catch up on some reading and indulge in something unrelated to your work--great literature has the power to rejuvenate. You can also try your best to catch some shuteye, in which case an eye mask and a sachet of lavender could really help. The medicinal route for sleep is always an option, but drooling on the person next to you isn't ideal, so be cautious.

8. Food & Drink.
We all know alcohol is bloating, dehydrating, and generally not what our body needs, especially at 36,000 feet. That being said, a glass of wine is a great way to calm nerves and relax before a long flight. If you must drink, be sure to supplement with plenty of H20--your liver and face will thank you.

As far as plane food is concerned, the heavily salted options just add to the bloat and general unpleasant appearance upon landing. Pack or (buy in the terminal) fresh fruit, a protein bar, or some nuts and seeds. They will give you something to snack on mid flight without making you feel bad.

9. Travel before travel.
Don't be late to check in, and if you can, check in ahead of time. Print your boarding pass and cruise through security with time to spare. Airports are notorious for randomly having long lines and delays, so don't leave it to chance. It's better to wait at the gate than have to deal with getting on another flight. If you're a frequent flyer, things like the Global Entry Program and TSA Pre check allow you to bypass immigration lines (dreadfully long) and go through security without having to remove any items of clothing.

10. Arrival.
If you're traveling to a different time zone, set your watch to the current time of your destination. Mentally prepare yourself for the change and use the air time to adjust.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.

And I could add sickness to that list.

What a culture focuses on is what it gets more of. Now, I'm not a conservative person when it comes to sex, but I think the whole porn world is gross. It degrades women and even the women who think they're not being degraded are. It's not like joyful, conscious, balanced people choose that industry. I think of the women who fought for us to vote in America, who wanted to be able to go to school, who wanted to have jobs that only men had. We're still trying to get paid the same salary. I think of the women across the world who still don't have those rights and cannot even voice their desire for them. I think porn isn't harmless for a man to be watching either. If he loves his wife, he doesn't need to watch another woman naked and having sex. I know marriage is complicated and some men may think their needs are not met because their wives are burnt out with work, kids, life. Maybe if they helped more or wooed her a little, the whole bedroom routine could shift. Simulated sex in movies is way different, cause it's fake, but depicts sex more realistically than porn. C'mon, real woman are not anything like that. As for racy ads on billboards, who cares, it's harmless and sensual. But since we see larger-than-life boobs overflowing from bras in those ads, no one should worry about women breastfeeding in public. The whole boob obsession/aversion is so weird.

Violence is glorified in media and it sells. It sells fear and ratings. You can't even check your email without the home page showing you the worst possible stories they can find. Yes, it's horrible that something bad happened to someone, but if you only look at the news, you would think it's not even worth living. I haven't watched a horror movie since the '90s cause having kids is scary enough, but beyond that it's TV violence that has desensitized people. How many crime shows do they really need? Don't people get sick of it? What if what you watched on TV was what you wanted to see more of in the world? Video games have become so gory. My kids have some of them too. I know there is a connection between these simulated crimes and many teens' aggression. It creates a disassociation with reality, it numbs their creativity and stops them from realizing their full potential if they spend hours in VideoGameWorld. There has to be a balance.

Weight issues are what fuels a billion dollar industry, right up there with porn. There is obesity that doesn't just plague people's bodies, but their lives and their whole being. The yo-yo people go through with the numbers on the scale is more than just calories. It's labeling foods good and bad, creating cycles of shame, reward, achievement, restriction, binge, and different sizes and self-worths. I've been 200 pounds and 110. Anyone can lose weight temporarily. Lifestyles changes create physical, but also mental and spiritual changes if you focus on wellness. Who cares if celebs lose the baby weight in 2 1/2 days. Weight looks different on each person, numbers lie. Eating organic, whole foods, non-GMO and exercising are what loving yourself actually "looks" like versus a size 2,4,6.

Added to that, like I said in the beginning, sickness could be added to the list, because our country feeds off the idea of sickness. If I didn't know the power of mindset and wellness, I would be paranoid and live in fear every day for me and my kids. Anxiety is so prevalent and it's no wonder. Take a look at the industries that make money off of you being sick and needing medicine. Of course go to the doctor if you're truly sick, but preventative medicine would save you money and make your whole quality of living better. Seriously, can you imagine if everyone limited their fast food, drank their green smoothies, took a meditation break at their desk, did a yoga class as a family, and gratitude was how we started out the school day? What if the morning network shows started out with ten things they were grateful for and everyone tweeted in theirs? What if we became a country not of division of political parties, religions, races, sexes, socioeconomic classes, but of heart-centered living and community? I sound like a hippie, I know, but would peace and working together be such a bad thing? Wouldn't it be better? Why wait for tragedies to start movements and join together to create a better world? What if people looked for common ground and what they did have in common? You see, I believe people are good, and I find them wherever I go. I am a helper and I find the helpers. I focus on the good. Are you? Do you focus on the negatives I listed? You can choose to think more positive. Anyone can.

I live in a different world than many, in that I don't believe in doom and gloom, I believe in hope and that things are getting better. You can look at upheavels in all areas as creating anew. Change is the mode of life, it's a given. You can focus on what you want to see more of in your life with what you spend your time, energy, attention, and thinking on. What are you focused on? What could you tweak in your own life? What beliefs could you reexamine? What could you let go of? Who could you forgive? What could you forgive yourself for? What do you want to create in your life? Ask yourself... what isn't working in my life anymore? What isn't serving me? What could I add to my life that would make it even better? What brings me true joy? What is my life's purpose? What one change could I make today that could create a domino effect in my life, my family, my home, and the world?

I dare ya!

Think outside the box. Be different. Focus higher.

P.S. For those who clicked on it because they thought sex may help you lose weight... it could. Stress makes it harder to lose weight not just with our feelings, moods, and mind overload, but with the release of stress hormones, as in cortisol. Clean up the stress in your life, improve your love life and a healthy weight is easy to maintain. And if you think you will need to lose weight first, that is just a belief. If you own it, that's sexy. A woman who is confident in who she IS, not based on her age or weight, is the most attractive thing in the world. If he doesn't get that honey, he doesn't get you, nor does he deserve you. There are plenty of good men out there that would cherish you.

Brandy Melville offers fashion for "diverse California girls." And in Brandy Melville's opinion, this diversity is reflected in one size: small.

I don't think it causes a negative effect on the body image of any one of our shoppers because anyone can come in the store and find something. At other places, certain people can't find things at all.

Thus spoke Sairlight Saller, visual manager for Brandy Melville, the latest addition to the growing list of Lululemons, Abercrombies and American Apparels -- fashion brands who fail to understand that violating cultural sensibilities by propagating unrealistically thin and tall bodies can undermine their brand's value.

No doubt, Brandy Melville is one of the hottest teenage fashion brands at the moment. Teens love its uniquely Californian thin beach look.

However, branding arguments that reduce Brandy Melville to a symbolic resource for teenage beauty battles easily overlook that brands today are not only resources for conspicuous consumption. They also participate in much larger cultural conversations about fairness, inclusion, equality and health.

In the day and age, when a brand's image is no longer authored by the brand's owner but co-authored by a host of cultural brand architects including journalists, activists, bloggers, celebrities and consumers, Brandy Melville's extreme one-size-fits-all policy can easily turn into a full-fledged doppelgänger brand image crisis.

For a growing number of Brandy critics and fashion activists, Brandy Melville is an oppressive ideological force that supports social evils such as poor self-esteem, distorted perceptions of weight, social exclusion and eating disorders.

Like 18-year-old fashion lover Lani Renaldo, these critics also call for a culture of diversity but one which helps combat these evils through more choice -- choice in size that empowers young people to cultivate their own individuality as consumers.

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Fashion blogger and Marie Claire columnist Nicolette Mason

Lani's passionate letter is also echoed in a growing movement of plus-size consumers who demand greater market inclusion and choice. In a recent study in the Journal of Consumer Research, my colleagues Daiane Scaraboto and Eileen Fischer have shown how frustrated consumers who are excluded by mainstream fashion markets combat entrenched fashion norms and institutions.

One such example highlighted by Scaraboto and Fischer is the so-called Fatosphere conglomerate of plus-size bloggers: "bloggers in the Fatosphere denounce the weight-loss industry, question the rhetoric of obesity as an epidemic and advocate the view that there can be 'health at every size.'"

Their battle against established patterns of power relationships involves using traditional and more recent fashion industry technologies such as photography, blogging and Instagram to appeal to institutional logics such as the logic of art and the logic of commerce. As such, these bloggers are not merely "frustrated fatshionistas." In blogs entitled "Big Fat Blog," "Fat Girls Like Nice Clothes Too," or " The Curvy Fashionista," they present alternative looks, they have a visible impact on the fashion industry and they drive field-level change.

Consumers today engage in efforts to change markets because they can. They feel empowered, knowledgeable, entitled, and they draw from a host of technologies to get their message across. They may not be able to make a difference as individuals. But Scaraboto and Fischer's findings, along with a host of other case studies from music, consumer tech, food and other industries remind us that consumer collectives -- often using well-institutionalized branding and promotional techniques -- can indeed change the status quo.

What Brandy Melville can learn from its plus-size fans is that its brand is meaningful to more stakeholders than its narrowly defined target. And these brand stakeholders are convinced that looking beautiful is not a matter of a thin physique.

When an 18-year-old fashion fan understands that real brand love knows no limit in size, why doesn't Brandy Melville?

Markus Giesler (@drgiesler) is a marketing professor at York University's Schulich School of Business specializing in the study of market creation, innovation management, technology consumption and customer experience design. He has been named one of the world's 40 best business professors under 40 by Poets & Quants, a young b-school star professor on the rise by Fortune, and one of the best recognized experts studying high-technology consumer behavior by Wired. He can be reached at shapingmarkets.org.

The month of October is the kick-off before the holidays. Stores are already filled with holiday decorations, and the smell of Halloween candy three aisles down is looming in the air. Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I love to go all-out. A lot of my friends love Halloween as well, so it becomes a several-night affair instead of a grand, one-night party. However, when I start reminding myself of all of the holiday gifts/travel/decorations costs, I have to pull back the reigns and find something reasonable. Luckily, with sites such as Etsy and Pinterest, I've learned to get creative not only artistically, but also financially.

If you're not into going big on Halloween, you'll love easy, transitional pieces. Surprisingly, the best place to look first is your own closet. You already know it fits, and you can spend money on the details rather than the basics. After looking in my closet and coming up with a few great options, I can guarantee you'll have at least one of these. Here are five great basic pieces in your wardrobe that you can transition into a variety of costumes.

1. Knee-High Socks
With fall comes boot season, and with boot season comes the need for knee-high socks. I can bet most of you have a pair or two lying around. Knee socks complement a variety of costumes; from the classic school girl/nurse/nerd outfits, to athletic and character costumes. For more knee-high sock costume inspirations, head here.

2. Black Leggings
Black leggings are not only comfortable, but you probably already own at least one pair in your closet. Pair with a black shirt and cat ears to dress up as a cat. Or, add a black leotard under your leggings and pair with black heels and volumized hair for a great DIY Sandy from Grease option.

3. White Button Up Shirt
Forget the office business appropriate attire and use your white button up shirt for something a little more creative. From Risky Business-inspired ensembles to Britney Spears in the "Hit Me Baby One More Time" video (you'll need the knee high socks for that one too), the white button down can be used for something a little more fun than just business professionals. For more inspiration ideas, go here.

4. Sunglasses
Your sunglasses can say a lot about your personality, and can also make your costume. An aviator-styled pair with fringe and tie dye can make you look like someone out of the 1970s, while Ray Bans and a floral high waist can make you look like you're heading to the sock hop. Pick out your favorite pair and search for ideas from it. You'll be surprised at how easy sunglasses make an outfit!

5. Jeans
We love a good pair of jeans. Coincidentally, so do many character-inspired outfits. From dressing up as a cowboy, a lumberjack, an undercover Ccp, or the fashionable Olivia Pope from Scandal, jeans are a great basic item in your closet. Splurge on the detail pieces such as a cowboy hat, sombrero, flannel or trench coat to really make your outfit transition from basic to costume attire. For more inspirations with your favorite pair of denim, click here.

She's notoriously shy, yet always the center of attention, especially during Fashion Week -- after all, the models might be pretty and the designers talented, but whatever the fashion world's reigning Queen Anna says, goes. That fact alone has led to her famously fickle friendships with some bold-faced name and an air of mystery that was somewhat blown after she inspired The Devil Wears Prada. Welcome to the fascinating world of Anna Wintour, the world's most famous magazine editrix. By a lot.

The tiny powerhouse with the pageboy bob is currently wrapping up her annual tour of fall Fashion Weeks around the globe, including New York, London and Milan. With all eyes on her, she seemed to play it chic, but safe, sticking largely to many kinds of conservative but colorful sheath dresses with a statement necklace, an occasional cardigan and Prada sandals. She looked flawless hitting shows by Thakoon, Michael Kors, Tom Ford and Altuzarra. Her Prada coat with gold trim, pointy pumps and matching accessories at the Versace show in Milan was dripping with the kind of style perfection only she could attain. While in Italy, she chatted up A-list actress Amy Adams in the front row of the Max Mara show, then sat with Kate Moss at Gucci. Earlier in New York, she sat next to Sarah Jessica Parker, a fashion icon in her own right, at the Calvin Klein 2015 spring collection, wearing an olive green and black striped dress. She also attended Victoria Beckham's show in a white sleeveless dress with a floral pattern, holding her place in a front-row seat next to the designer's ridiculously sexy husband, David Beckham. In London, she hit the Hunter Original show with gal pal Stella McCartney and attended the Burberry show in a maroon lace dress paired with a dark turquoise trench coat. What else would you expect from the woman who said she would never wear head-to-toe black?

Wintour has been the editor in chief of Vogue since 1988, and at 64 shows no signs of slowing down. Last year, she was also made creative director of Vogue's parent company, Condé Nast. She has the power to make or break designers -- big and small -- and many a celebrity seeks her out for the coveted approval and friendship for the mercurial fashion world to see.

But for the rest of us couture civilians, we'll have to wait for spring to again have our moment with Queen Anna, the kingdom's most stylish monarch.

Read more at http://nowitcounts.com

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How to Embrace a "Sofia/J.Lo" kind of Authentic Sensuality
"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." ~ C.G. Jung

Lusty, provocative, titillating, intoxicating; words that evoke a certain kind of woman that we secretly would like to be thought of at some time in our life. Not necessarily to act upon, even though that could be lovely as well, but just to know that we have the power to evoke such powerful emotions. This God-given ability to arouse interest in the opposite sex was imprinted in the female DNA at conception and it shows up in every species on the planet.

Yet for so many this inborn talent is either misunderstood, drastically under used or down-played entirely, which is such a shame since this is a gift not to be wasted. Fortunately, I've had some worldly-wise women awaken me to the power of my female energy, and now as a worldly-wise woman myself I intend to pass it on.

I first fell in love with the word "ripe" in relation to my womanhood when some years back a gentleman admirer likened my persona to "a luscious piece of ripe fruit." The visual of a ripe juicy peach at its perfection, firm and rosy yet succulent to the bite, seemed like a wonderful way to be viewed... similar to the Sofia Vergara/Jennifer Lopez version of womanliness I so appreciate.

These kind of women embrace their femininity and are unabashedly sensual in almost everything they do, yet rarely are frivolous sexual. Because of that clear distinction, they have had many men love them, take care of them and marry them, while never being deterred from developing their mind, talents or their sense of love and joy and spirituality -- the source of Authentic Sensuality.

Authentic Sensuality, in essence, comes from how tuned in you are to your feelings and how invested you are in experiencing the delight of the senses. The smell from the bouquet of the unknown, the sweet taste of something yet to come, the clear sight of a new possibility, the sound of a whisper and the touch that feels new and exciting are all a part of the journey to living a joy-filled life. "Sensuality likes to make love at the border where time and space change places," and with an adventurous spirit that is not particularly quiet, your body movements can reflect your aliveness in so many delicious ways.

A ripe, sensual woman is a confident woman who fully inhabits her body. She has learned to treasure all the curves and delights of her temple and has taken the time to get to know and enhance her attributes; whether they are perfectly defined arms, the sway of her hips or the contour of her back. It could be the swell of her breasts, the roundness of her buttocks or her strong, firm legs. Whatever her body type or structure she loves it, simply because it's her body!

This kind of woman understands her own unique style and is comfortable in expressing it. She has learned how to cultivate her subtleties and intricacies, whether it's her alluring "come hither" voice, in and out of bed, her magnetic smile and infectious way of laughing or the mischievous twinkle in her eyes, attributes refined with years of experience and a well-developed mind.

A "well developed mind" gives you the strength to relax around what used to cause angst and pain and the good opinions of others. Self-belief is the backbone of sensuality and the beginning of independence. When a woman takes responsibility for her decisions and trusts she can handle almost anything, being authentic in every sense of the word is her only choice.

What makes a woman independent is her imagination, a desire to become the shero in her own story and the master of her fate. It has nothing to do with "the reality" others see, only what she chooses to see and act upon. A woman who is only limited by her own imagination never considers her fantasies mere whims or capricious thoughts, but more like the blessed whispers of what is possible and merely moments away. The bottom line is a woman of any age who owns her own authentic sensuality is just damn sexy!

So when I went in search of what some men thought authentically sensuality looked like, their answers were not only revealing, but came with great advice worth heeding. I certainly did, and I suggest you do the same!

Robert said: "My first thought is of this older woman I met on holiday in Ibiza Spain. Her laugh, her attitude, her chutzpah and obvious passion for life makes her irresistible! Surrounded by women augmented to look younger, her confidence made her look ageless. That's Authentic Sensuality!

Jack said: "The paramount quality that makes a woman sexy is her outlook on life. If she laughs without measure, you know she derives great joy from life, has the ability to transcend pain and grief and still find pleasure in the mere fact of her existence. Is this not the most appealing element of any human -- their ability to feel and express joy? To me, this is our single most captivating virtue and one which, in my mind, is infinitely sensual."

Harry said: "Sensuality, opposed to sexuality, is something that comes from the inside out and I almost think you are born with it. Because when it is authentic it becomes a part of everything you do; the way you speak, the way you move, the way you dance, the way you eat, the way you say nothing." Being authentic is the secret to being confident, and nothing is more sensual than a confident woman."

So if you also admired the Sofia's/J.Lo's of the world, and wouldn't mind it a bit if someone saw you as a ripe woman with authentic sensuality, why not begin to incorporate some of these hints into your persona and see what happens? Authentic Sensuality, now that's hot!

**Excerpted from LIFE~LUST~and LOVE: A Seasoned Woman's Inside Secret's From Ordinary to Extraordinary New Release in fall 2014 www. Joy Weston.com

So far as feminists go -- she's an unlikely one.

Her glamorous presentation, charming manner and family anecdotes suggest Ufuoma Ekpecham is what she prizes most: being a loving wife and dedicated mother. Yet they also belie exactly what brings Ekpecham to New York City on this crisp fall day: her role as founder of Josh & Nicol, a London based label with plans for American expansion.

Ekpecham's warm embrace of her juxtaposing roles as doting housewife and shrewd brand owner echoes the uneasy alliance between fashion and feminism. That conversation once again took center stage earlier this month at Chanel's S/S 2015 collection. The show culminated in a sophisticated staged protest which saw a riot of models including Giselle Bundchen and Cara Delevingne storm the catwalk in protest of womens rights. As they marched on the catwalk, Chaka Kahn's 'I'm Every Woman' blasted as they waived placards announcing "Feminist but Feminine" and "Boys Should Get Pregnant Too." By show's end, the message seemed clear -- but for the media, it was murky. Was fashion promoting feminism, "or just using feminism to promote themselves?" asked Amanda Hess at Slate. At BBC, Susie Lau equally confused by the Karl Lagerfeld engineered spectacle pondered -- "What [does] it all mean? Was he mocking feminism or rooting for it?" Their skepticism is valid.

But so too is the legacy of fashion as a feminist manifesto -- authored by non-other than Chanel's founder. Gabrielle 'Coco' Bonheur Chanel, built her namesake business as a single woman at a time when building families was the norm for women. The steely spirit which guided her life, and subsequently her legend, is summed up in a quote commonly attributed to Chanel: "A girl should be two things: who and what she wants to be." Decades later and miles away, Ekpecham heard that message loud and clear as she began her fashion career. Ekpecham officially launched in Port Harcourt, Nigeria where she saw constant examples of women sweeping their ambitions aside to focus on family.

"I knew that path was not for me," shares the designer. "It was important for me to be able to explore myself, not just as a family woman but as a career woman."

To that end, Ekpecham pursued her undergraduate degree in Microbiology and began a working at Shell offices in Nigeria. Her growing success in that role was routinely overshadowed by her star turn in another -- as a part-time designer creating pieces for friends and family. After two years, it became clear to Ekpecham that while she was good at doing it all, she was passionate about doing just one: fashion. Her first formal foray into the field was a modest boutique which employed one tailor. Her shop immediately earned a steady clientele and rapidly expanded from a sole employee to a ten person team servicing the city's elites.

Then tragedy struck.

In three short months Ekpecham lost both her mother and father unexpectedly. She decided to move with family to London where she would be able to unpack the unexpected turn of events. The cosmopolitan city provided more than a distraction from her pain -- it became the a major inspiration for the next chapter of her journey as a fashion entrepreneur: Josh & Nicol, a line named after her two children.

"It was because of my husband," says Ekpecham, who credits her partner of nearly two decades with helping her decide to launch her label. "He said as far as I'm concerned, you're a local tailor. Go to school take it to the next level. Every step of the way, he has been very encouraging."

And with good reason. Visually, Ekpecham's contemporary line is a departure from the work done by a new wave of African designers gaining popularity beyond the continent. Feminine, classic silhouettes are crafted from rich silks and satins and topped with unexpected, playful details and color combinations. The whole of these parts constitutes a clever, modern nod to Ekpecham's proud Nigerian heritage.

"It's a powerful collection," says Arieta Mujay, Creative Director at A.C.C, a London based firm which is working with Ekpecham on her brand's strategy. "I believe strongly in its message and its connection with women from all walks of life -- from Africa and beyond"

This creative vision underscores the business mission for the brand, which is slowly putting its expansion to America in place. It tested the waters this season when it graced the catwalk at Harlem Fashion Row's S/S 2015 collection. Their show, which boasted a brilliant rainbow of sorbet colored dresses, separates and gowns, was well received by the nearly five hundred insiders who lined up to watch them close the event.

For Ufuoma her success marks yet another chapter in the growth of the brand.

"We are are already looking to return next season," says Ekpecham. "The goal is to produce our own stand alone presentation, and service our American clients by expanding our availability to U.S. boutiques," she reveals.

It's an expansive vision, which, coupled with the momentum the brand is building in London, could double the workload for the designer. If the rigours of this schedule will impede on her treasured family life, Ekpecham is not worried.

"It's not about picking," says says, "It's about having it all. And women can do that."

Her singular response answers the larger question posed by Chanel earlier this year: fashion and feminism may make strange bedfellows -- but at least they're effective ones.

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Learn ore about Ufuoma Ekpecham & her label here.

Throughout life, Halloween takes on a different meaning depending on your age. As a child, it's about dressing up as your favorite princess or superhero, trick-or-treating with your parents, and getting to eat as much candy as you can hold in a basket the shape of a pumpkin (or are allowed to eat). When middle school rolls around, the costume selection becomes a little more varied, but suddenly you are hemming the princess dress to well above knee length. You and your friends attend a chaperoned a Halloween party, and then instead of asking strangers for candy with your parents, you go with friends. A gossip/giggle session follows, during which you discuss if your crush noticed how much skin you were showing. In high school, Mean Girls taught us that Halloween is quite literally, "the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it." College is more of the same, except a little more daring. As a recent post-grad, I have a new found sense of self in regard to who I want to be this Halloween. Full disclosure, this has been a gradual change of heart that began during my senior year of college, where I decided to dress as a dementor from Harry Potter. Yeah, I ripped the slits of my black hooded-cape poncho dress, showing a little more leg than the average dementor would, but so what.

Anyways, if you don't want to be a "basic" this Halloween, read on. If you are a loyal customer to Yandy.com, Rickys, or Fredericks of Hollywood, this might not be for you.

After all, this holiday is more than about shedding all your layers at the onset of winter. You have a chance to be whomever it is you admire, to wear whatever you want, dye your hair, and maybe even glue some Lady Gaga eyelashes onto your eyelids!

Here is a compilation of the most iconic movie costumes from my very own number one gal, Audrey Hepburn. In narrowing down outfits that could be taken and re-imagined from any of her 31 films, I have settled on four. One costume per movie, except Breakfast at Tiffany's merits two.

The many plusses to these costumes are that you can still wear them as separate pieces after Halloween, and some articles can probably already be found hiding in the back of your drawers.

Dressing as Audrey from Funny Face is perhaps the easiest of them all. You need a tight black turtleneck, skinny black jeans or leggings, black socks, and black flats/penny loafers. Hair must be worn up in a ponytail, with a side part. And, most importantly, this costume requires a bit of acting, and a lot of dramatic arm movements.

The classic Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's has more than one look, so let's skip the classic long black Givenchy dress and pearls. Holly's sleepwear, which we see early on in the movie, is a fun and effortless mod look. All you need is a long white sleep shirt, à la Tom Cruise from Risky Business. The two most important components of this outfit are the earplug tassels, and the blue eye mask.

If you're looking to add an accessory to this look, think about a stuffed orange cat.

The second Breakfast at Tiffany's costume comes from a scene with George Peppard from the five and dime. This costume requires only a cat mask and an orange coat.

The trickiest costume of them all is from My Fair Lady, but don't let the long lace dress and black stripes scare you. This is your chance at following through with a D-I-Y project, or to explore all that Etsy has to offer (which is a lot)!

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For the Roman Holiday costume, think of Princess Ann's look while she's playing hookey from her royal duties. This costume involves a short-sleeved white button down shirt, with the sleeves cuffed. The shirt goes tucked into a calf-length skirt with pleating that cinches at the waist with a belt. To complete the look, wear a black and white striped scarf tied tightly around your neck, with gladiator shoes.

Soraya Darabi is the co-founder of Zady, a mission-driven brand described best as "The Whole Foods of Fashion." Following her tenure as Manager of Digital Partnerships and Social Media at The New York Times, Soraya served as Product Lead for drop.io, an online collaboration service (acquired by Facebook). She went on to co-found the application Foodspotting, named by Apple and Wired Magazine as an "App of the Year" (acquired by Open Table).

Soraya has been featured on the cover of Fast Company Magazine's "Most Creative People in Business" issue and Brandweek's "Digital" issue for her work in new media and entrepreneurship. In 2014, she became a World Economic Forum "Young Global Leader." She received her Bachelor of Arts degree from Georgetown University and now lives in Manhattan.

Soraya Darabi (Photo credit: Courtesy of Zady)

Q: What does entrepreneurship mean to you, and what underlying characteristics do you see in successful entrepreneurs?

SD: The first time I heard someone introduce himself as an 'entrepreneur', I found it very strange. I knew several entrepreneurs, including my parents, but I never thought that entrepreneurship could be a career or identity in itself. Entrepreneurship defines not a type of person, but a generation who want to generate ideas that disrupt industries for the better. They don't answer a question succinctly, but question the question itself. They reinvent their job, and think outside the box. To me, entrepreneurship means freedom, creativity, innovation, hard work, and patience.

Q: What are you most proud of in your professional career? If you could do something over in your life, what would it be?

SD: I am proud of the relationships I have built. We recently hired my first boss from a decade ago as a consultant for Zady. She wanted to express her entrepreneurial and design side, and I have known her for a decade now, so we brought her on board at Zady. I have known my fellow cofounder Maxine for 18 years, and I am proud to work closely with the same people time and time again. I regularly have dinners with my directors from New York Times, and friends from Foodspotting, and I find happiness in being surrounded by great people I have developed together with.

If I could do something over in my life? Hmm. One summer, I was backpacking in Europe as a broke college student. I had just broken up with my boyfriend in England, and took a train to France. My host in Paris bailed on me, and I was all alone crying on a bench at the train station. A kind stranger came and sat by me, and offered to host me at her place. That weekend, we went to Versailles to visit her brother who was starting a bakery. He taught me to make baguette! We had a great time together, and he offered me a job. "You should just take your Fall semester off," he said. I declined and came back to school in DC, but in retrospect, I wish I'd have stayed back mastered baguette-making. It's a skill I'd have cherished having. Though, I think I would still be an entrepreneur today.

Q: Tell us about an instance where you had to go against the flow to realize your goal.

SD: Well, we are doing it with Zady. The world is at the end of this obsession for cheap, disposable fashion. The fashion industry has offered women trendy style at bottom barrel prices, but we believe that style comes from within - it cannot be dictated. We believe in timeless pieces meant to last for decades in your closet. People should know where their clothes are made, and how they are made. Zady is a movement, and every movement has its oppressor, which is the fashion industry in our case. The fashion industry brings in billions of dollars every year, and we understand the challenges we face at Zady, but we choose to go against the flow and stay true to our conscientiousness.

Q: What's in store for your brand?

SD: We are announcing a pop-up shop and a new Zady line, which is ethically sourced entirely in the US. The sweater we are launching gets its raw materials from Imperial farm in Orgeon. The dye house, the knit house and the factory are all domestic, and we are very proud of this sweater. It is not easy to create a domestic-only sweater, but the world is ready for this!

Q: LinkedIn style - If you were to give advice to your 22 year old self, what would it be?

SD: My 22 year old self was very well-informed and audacious, and may have more advice for my 30 year-old advice, and my present day 30 year old self would have for the younger me.

At 22, I'd advise my 30 year old self to be cautiously optimistic, and to always believe that people are inherently good. At 30, I;d advise my 22 year old self to read more fiction, and to remember that it all works out!

Follow Soraya Darabi at @sorayadarabi, and check out the other interviews in Going Against the Flow series at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charu-sharma/ or thestartupsutra.com.

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Going Against the Flow: Soraya Darabi, CEO and Cofounder of Zady