How to Wear a Belted Scarf

December 2, 2014, 2:57 am

≫ Next: Why Organizing A Party For Complete Strangers May Be The Best Thing You Ever Do

≪ Previous: How to Love Your Body at Every Size and Every Number

There are infinite ways to tie a scarf. Exhibit A. Exhibit B.

But leave it to Burberry to get us thinking totally outside the head-and-neck region.

Read on for 6 tips on how to belt a scarf, à la Cara Delevingne, Olivia Palermo and every fashion blogger that you (secretly) hate to love.

Tip #1: Don't Go Too Bulky
The number one rule when attempting to pull off this look: A chunky knit scarf won't do. Instead, wear one that's made of silk or lightweight cotton (like these from Bené). You can go for heavier cotton in some situations, but that's when rule #2 comes into play...

Tip #2: Do Use a Thin Belt
Overall, the size of the belt depends on the weight of the scarf (the thicker the material, the thicker the belt). However, as a rule of thumb, a thinner belt looks better than a hefty metal buckle. Bonus points if you can figure out how to tie yours like this.

Tip #3: Don't Cinch Too High
The belt should fit around your natural waist. Tie it too high and you'll have way too much fabric floating around. (Note: This is not the place to experiment with an empire waist.)

Tip #4: Don't Ignore the Hem
Movement in the scarf is key. Stay away from styles with a blunt hem and opt for fringe or a slanted edge.

Tip #5: Do Pay Attention to Length
Make sure the scarf hits just above your kneecaps (read: It's supposed to move when you walk). Got a thicker scarf? Pull some out and drape it over your shoulders to channel the Burberry blanket-scarf ensemble.

Tip #6: Don't Shy Away from Layers
Sure, wearing a scarf over a dress is the ideal combination. But adding a blazer, a cardigan or even your winter coat looks equally as chic and allows you to wear the trend well into snow-boot season.

More From PureWow:

How To Tie A Scarf
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Leopard Print Is The New Neutral
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Why Organizing A Party For Complete Strangers May Be The Best Thing You Ever Do

December 2, 2014, 3:42 am

≫ Next: I'm 45, Fat And Finally Know I'm Sexy

≪ Previous: How to Wear a Belted Scarf

Once upon a time in a youth far, far ago, I enjoyed a reputation as a fabulous party host. Like many grown women, however, the parties I held after my twenties mostly entailed juice boxes and preschoolers peeing their pants while waiting in line for the piñata.

My plans to throw a terrific party at the age of 52 presented new challenges: the biggest one being I wouldn't know a single guest.

Hosting a "Stranger Party," as one of The 52/52 Project's year of new personal adventures, intrigued and intimidated me. Entertaining a group of adults I'd never met would surely prove awkward. I hoped for at least a few moments of levity and laughter.

I formed my guest list by asking friends to invite someone. The rules were: We could never have met; they couldn't know each other; and they must come alone. My own apprehension aside, these adventurers would need to be superheroes.

My next challenge: How did one plan a party, knowing nothing about the guests? Unlike my young adult years, supplying cheap alcohol and a couple bags of Doritos wouldn't suffice. I bought an assortment of beverages and prepared a huge feast. After all, this was 2014. Someone was sure to require vegan, Kosher, low-carb, or gluten-free.

I tackled my woeful windows and mopboards, and I planned games to break the ice and break up the inevitable long lulls in conversation.

But then the Hellacious Winter That Would Never End tossed another storm our way. Soon, the phone calls began, from guests fighting their way through the snow into the boonies of Waterville, Ohio. Surely a few would conclude an uncomfortable evening with strangers wasn't worth the effort. Surprisingly, all seven persevered. That alone proved this would be a remarkable group of women.

Yes, we were all women. Although I'd encouraged friends to invite guests of either gender, all the takers ended up female.

Besides that, we shared few similarities. We ranged in age from 22 to 74, with diverse careers. We were divorced, married, and single. Some had small children, others had grandchildren, and the youngest was a recent college graduate still living with her parents.

These details came out early, during small talk over wine, stuffed mushrooms, and smoked salmon. But that small talk segued -- amazingly fast -- into much more.

We soon ventured into deeper topics: moral, religious, and political. We each shared our thoughts, with only a twinge of discomfort in the most passionate discussion. And we moved on to confessing our most personally embarrassing and hilarious stories: like one woman's horrific "burning crotch" anecdote and another's tale about the huge spit bubble she produced while engaging with a prospective date.

We laughed and nodded in empathy. We conversed like we'd known each other forever.

What was happening? I'd never been at a party like this, never met people quite like these.

Perhaps the pool of guests was narrowed to our advantage. After all, who but an outgoing or courageous individual attended a party, alone, with total strangers? Did the fact that we were all women make a difference? Or, maybe we felt we had nothing to lose by sharing so much with people we figured we'd never see again.

We held back little. No one seemed self-conscious or embarrassed. Well, no one except the hostess, who was so busy accommodating guests and drinking wine that she forgot to eat. Somewhere between asking my new friends to attempt my own 52/52 challenges of dining in the dark and eating insects -- and my next plan for them to try belly-dancing -- the evening grew blurry. While my fortitude for new experiences had grown in leaps and bounds through The 52/52 Project, my tolerance for wine remained pitiful.

The next morning, I sent off an email to them each, thanking them, apologizing for being "over-served," and hoping we still shared the love. The heart-warming thread of emails flew for days.

"I had more fun with you 'strange' ladies than I have had at any party I have ever attended."

"I can honestly say I've not enjoyed myself like that in quite some time."

"We did agree that 'What happens at the Stranger Party, stays at the Stranger Party, right?" All of us, particularly me, breathed a sigh of relief at that.

And, finally, this email: "Each one of you is so unique and has so much to contribute to this group, which I suggest we call 'The 52 Club,'" she wrote. She suggested this single experience was worthy of a book in itself for me to write: "Our story of eight ladies of diverse backgrounds and ages, and the developing friendships that ensued."

Perhaps she was right, because our story didn't end there.

We began to meet monthly, catching up on news of each other's families, dating experiences, and jobs. Sure, those evenings together gradually grew more intermittent, as happens with most friends. I became busy with writing. One member in our group moved out of state. And both our 22-year-old and our 74-year-old friends found new romances.

But as time passed and circumstances changed, we remained connected. I have a feeling we always will. And even if months go by before The 52 Club gathers again, that just means we will have more to discuss.

Sometimes, the most random experiences in our lives end up being the most significant.

Is it truly possible for a group of people, who had never before met, to form lifelong friendships in one single evening?

Stranger things have happened, indeed.

I'm continuing the essence of that Stranger Party with a Stranger Party National Tour over the next year, inviting people I don't know -- good friends who just haven't yet met -- to join in small groups for fun and unusual experiences. We have outings planned in places like Milwaukee, Austin, Denver, and Boston. See The 52/52 Project's posting of events for more information. When's the last time you did something for the first time?

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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I'm 45, Fat And Finally Know I'm Sexy

December 2, 2014, 5:57 am

≫ Next: 5 Screwed Up Lessons I Learned From My Dad

≪ Previous: Why Organizing A Party For Complete Strangers May Be The Best Thing You Ever Do

I happen to live in Los Angeles, where being over a size 8 is almost a felony. As a plus-size woman, this can be depressing when I am searching for a cute bathing suit or a stylish pair of jeans in a city that considers the "norm" a size 2. At those times, I like to remind myself that the average dress size for women across America and the UK is a size 14, and that a size 2 is much less common than the norm. However, it's disappointing to note that at size 14, those "average women" are also considered "plus-size," a term that relegates them to a category that, in this media-driven age, sends women to the back of the proverbial bus.

So, it follows that because of societal standards, no matter what we look like, women are always first to dismiss themselves from the dating game by chastising their perceived physical shortcomings. This kind of dysmorphic thinking doesn't discriminate. Women of all shapes and sizes believe they have some sort of a tangible flaw that renders them unattractive, undesirable and therefore unworthy. Though being a plus-sized woman has its challenges, dating shouldn't be one of them. In fact, as a plus-sized woman myself, I date more now than I did when I was thinner.

A few years ago, when I made the decision to start dating again after my divorce, I had to examine my relationship with how I saw my body. For my entire teen and adult life, I was lead to believe -- through the media, other women and some really immature boys -- that my body (and therefore, I) wasn't desirable, because it had more lumps, bumps and curves than the "ideal women" coveted by society. I thought about all the women this kind of conditioning affects. Most women do not have a movie star body, and some spend a fortune trying to attain it. It was interesting to me that regardless of size, all the women I knew loathed portions, if not all of their bodies. All of them. I was no different.

So, when I left my husband at age 40 and entered into a very passionate affair with a new man, I ran headfirst into a thick and impervious wall of shame and self-hatred. Though emotionally I felt that he wanted me, intellectually, I couldn't understand why. I couldn't get my head around the idea that he found me sexually attractive; after all, I wasn't built like Jennifer Aniston.

When we first became intimate, I was so ashamed of my physique that I kept my slip on, thinking, maybe he won't notice my fat. Though the voice in my head told me I was disgusting and should be ashamed to think he wants me, my lover couldn't have been more effusive and complimentary about how seduced he was by my body. But it didn't matter; the shame and the humiliation I felt from other people's opinions of how I should look took over. I recalled the stares shot surreptitiously my way when I enjoyed an ice cream cone, and the disapproving glances I received when I dared to wear a bathing suit to the beach. These memories enforced my fears. My lover continued to sincerely voice how attracted to me he was, yet I continued dismissing him, and kept that slip on for the next three months.

When I was finally able to relax enough to be naked in front of him, I wanted to understand why he wasn't disgusted by me. I brought up the subject of a woman's body type and asked him if he had always been attracted to plus-sized women.

For me, his answer was revolutionary.

My lover explained that body shape or size had nothing to do with his attraction to a woman. To him, a woman's physical appeal (among other things like; sense of humor, chemistry, intelligence, etc.) was based on how she embodied her sexuality. He said that when a woman knows she's a sensual being and is confident about her natural sexuality, it drove him wild.

I thought back to when I was praying he wouldn't notice my fat, and how it got in the way of me being in the moment and enjoying the connection and physicality we shared. His answer challenged the way I believed all people picked a sexual partner. I could no longer go back and operate under the same beliefs. I needed to redefine, for myself, what it meant for me to be a sexually desirable woman. While I needed to start the work of being able to accept my body as it is in any given moment, I also needed to learn how to accept and integrate my sexuality and sexual desire into what it meant for me to be the woman I want to be.

What I've come to believe is that a person's sexuality is part of the human experience. It exists whether we like it or not, like our eye color or the shape of our hands. We can ignore it, cover it up or make excuses for it, but we can't deny its existence. The fact that I'm fat -- yes, I said "fat," because it's an accurate adjective and not an insult -- does nothing to add or detract from my value as a person and as a woman of great worth. I am a human being first, a woman next, and after that, many, many things that have nothing to do with my physical features.

My acceptance of being a sexually desirable woman projects from me even on days where I hate the way I look. Only now have I come to know that sexual pleasure is not just meant for the "beautiful" and the "hard-bodied"; it's a natural endowment and enjoyment that is everyone's right as a human being. Thank goodness that now, in middle age, I can look forward to a happy, healthy and enjoyable sex life.

Photo by Nick Holmes | www.nickholmesonline.com

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5 Screwed Up Lessons I Learned From My Dad

December 2, 2014, 6:32 am

≫ Next: Weekly Roundup of eBay Vintage Clothing Finds

≪ Previous: I'm 45, Fat And Finally Know I'm Sexy

I'm just like my father: committed to whatever I take on. I have an amazing work ethic. I'm strong-minded and a little hard-headed. I even look like him.

I learned a lot of amazing lessons from this man. And even though we butt heads, I love him with all my heart.

But the truth is I don't love everything about him.

From when I was a young girl, I saw my dad hustle to give his family everything. We grew up never wanting for anything, went out to dinner three times a week and vacationed at least once a year.

Family parties, huge birthday celebrations, wonderful Christmas holidays. We had it all.

As the years went on, I found there was a lot about his character that was degrading to women and to my generation. Maybe I noticed more because I was wiser, forming my own opinions about life and stepping into my own power.

He would go on tangents about anything and everything. Money, relationships, career, politics. He had such strong opinions and pushed them on anyone who would listen. These lectures led to fights. The fights led to tears. And in those moments, we hated each other.

He had a lot to say when he was going through these phases. So much that I began to write it down. I have enough material for a book of my own.

Some things made sense, like investing your cash and preparing for retirement. Some were funny. But some were downright terrifying, like men don't want children and women should keep their legs closed if they don't want to take on the responsibility of a child alone.

What's more horrific is that I believed these lies.

Here are the top five screwed up lessons I learned from my dad.

You have to work hard to make money.
This seems to be a universal misconception, not just something from my dad, but definitely from his generation. As an entrepreneur myself, I believe this to some degree, but not to the same level as he does. No, you don't have to work your butt off, 80 hours a week, doing physical labor or even stuck in a cubicle. In fact, doing that will rarely take you to success and wealth. And it will definitely never make you happy.

Insane work ethic doesn't mean wasting your life on the physical demands of a job. It's about working smarter -- not harder. Hire proper help to pick up tasks that aren't in your zone of genius. Develop relationships that will take you to the next level.

Which brings me to the next screwed up life lesson I hear regularly from my dad.

The Internet f*cked us all.
The Internet extinguished the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. Huge corporations wiped out mom and pop shops and machines will leave millions unemployed.

Technology and the Internet have had a profound effect on our lives. I still can't believe that every day I reach a limitless amount of people, from countries all over the world through the Internet.

There's good and bad when it comes to pretty much anything in life. My father's lessons taught me to focus on the bad.

You can't follow your dreams unless you're already rich.
This one threw me. "The rich get richer and the poor get poorer," my dad said. His argument is your dreams can only become reality if you already have the money to make them happen.

I have to admit that after thirty years, deciding to follow my dreams, escape the 9 to 5 and start my own business has led to tough times financially. But it doesn't and will never mean I have a quitting bone in my body. The struggle is real, but it's so worth it.

The idea that only those who come from money can follow their dreams is ludicrous and offensive. I believe anyone -- no, everyone -- can and should go after what they want. It's a lesson I had to learn on my own and one I will teach my son. Happiness doesn't come from money -- my father is an excellent example of that. Happiness comes from doing what you love, with the people you love.

Marry a rich man so he can take care of you.
This has to be one of the most destructive things I heard from my dad growing up and as an adult woman. Marry for money, not love. Never mind any other messed up qualities the man may have, as long as he can take care of you financially, then hold onto him. Way to teach self-reliance and independence, Dad. I understand that may have been the way of older generations, but it doesn't work now.

As someone who is a hardcore advocate of self-reliance and teaching women confidence and independence, this is something I avidly oppose. My advice: Find someone who understands you, who loves you unconditionally and with whom you can build with a life. Know you can take care of yourself first, before relying on anyone to do it for you.

Stay in a situation, even when you're unhappy. 'Cuz that's life.
With a second divorce on my record by age 32, I get bashed on a regular basis about the choices I've made in my relationships. Fortunately, I was able to finally break free and start thinking for myself, and making decisions based on my own happiness and well-being.

My dad constantly reminds me I should have stayed in my marriage, no matter how unhappy or unfulfilled I was, and that every struggle presented since then comes from my separation -- and is my fault.

And though I have endured some struggles, I have also experienced an insane amount of growth and understanding. It took me some time, but finally making the decision to leave an unhappy partnership has made me a better person. And in turn, I am now able to help others do the same.

I love my father and I am grateful for the life he gave me and the lessons he taught me.

But I also made a conscious choice that even though he was the parent, I am now an adult.
I can do what I want, when I want and how I want. I am allowed to have opinions that conflict with his. I am allowed to live my own life, and I don't have to feel guilty about it.

I found a way to turn off the noise and listen to my true desires to become the person I was meant to be.

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Weekly Roundup of eBay Vintage Clothing Finds

December 2, 2014, 9:31 am

≫ Next: Rise of the Lumbersexual: Why I'm Keeping My November Beard

≪ Previous: 5 Screwed Up Lessons I Learned From My Dad

No time to page through thousands of eBay listings? Then just sneak a peek at my Weekly eBay Roundup of top vintage clothing finds.

This eclectic mix of designer and non-designer vintage clothing and accessories caught my discerning eye because of its uniqueness, contemporary feel and highly collectible nature.

As always, buyer beware! Be sure to read the listings closely and contact the sellers with any questions.

This week's Roundup includes items by Dorothy O'Hara, Jean Paul Gaultier, Oscar de la Renta, Missoni and Hermes. Don't miss the 1992 Versace Bondage Collection corset and newsboy cap, the Toshikane buttons, the 1960s Pucci bikini, the 1980s Celine shoulder bag and the Alfred Shaheen collectible sundress.

GET READY, GET SET, BID!!!
(Click on Pic for More Info and Auction Links)

Which item is your favorite? Leave me a comment below to let me know.

To receive the eBay Roundup of Vintage Clothing Finds via email, sign up for Zuburbia's mailing list here. Your information will never be sold or shared and you can easily unsubscribe at any time.

DISCLOSURE: Editorial selections are made by Zuburbia with no direct promotional consideration from the featured eBay sellers however Zuburbia may receive revenue as an affiliate member of the eBay Partner Network.

PLEASE NOTE that Zuburbia does not endorse the use of fur, feathers, leather or animal skins in fashion. Any of these selections are offered only as more thoughtful and eco-friendly alternatives for contemporary fashionistas who have not yet eliminated animal products from their wardrobes or for collectors who are seeking to preserve these items.

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Rise of the Lumbersexual: Why I'm Keeping My November Beard

December 2, 2014, 10:21 am

≫ Next: The Victoria's Secret Models Guide to London

≪ Previous: Weekly Roundup of eBay Vintage Clothing Finds

I used to think beards were gross. That they were only appropriate for Jon Hamm, Abraham Lincoln and Santa.

Then I tried growing one and went native.

Inspired by a two-time cancer survivor participating in Movember, I decided to try out the facial hair thing, and raise a little money. Unfortunately, mustaches are either: 1. Tom Selleck awesome, or 2. "Come into my windowless van" creepy, so I opted for No-Shave November.

For those who work in the news industry, there's an unspoken rule about facial fuzz, but with the boss's permission I ceased my morning shaving ritual.

The first thing I noticed was how much time not shaving saves in the morning. I only got through maybe three of Taylor Swift's "1989" each morning before I was ready for work!

As for the beard, at first I got a few comments here and there but mostly nobody noticed, until the end of week two. Seemingly overnight, the beard filled in and my days were packed with questions, comments and attempts to touch the beard (P.S. Don't touch someone's facial hair without permission. In the Middle Ages, touching another beard was grounds for a duel.)

Once I got into week four I was getting Commander Riker (Star Trek reference) comparisons and something odd happened. I began to really like it. It drew compliments from friends, co-workers and strangers. People I've known for years would say things like, "You look like a man now." (I choose to take this as a compliment and not pull at the underlying meaning.) I even got emails from viewers at work saying that they liked the look. (Albeit, Denver might be a bit biased with its awesome, laid back attitude.) I also started noticing just how many men have facial hair, from mustaches to chin straps, to that weird thin lip-mustache. What is that about anyway? Is it drawn on?

Unlike Fetch, facial hair is happening.

So what happened? In the days of nine blade razors and popular cherubic male celebrities, why is the beard and henceforth "Lumbersexual" happening? If you're just tuning in, the Lumbersexual is the new Metrosexual... which is basically the same thing, but with a beard.

Studies seem to show that women find bearded men more mature, masculine and aggressive. Others disagree, or say they are "so last year." In a recent issue of The Journal of Scientific Review, 86 percent of women found bearded men to be sexually attractive. Similar studies suggest bearded brethren send signals of being more dominant and even that they would make better fathers. Behind these studies is the simple fact that a beard symbolizes active testosterone in the body and testosterone = maleness.

Moving past the science of stubble, at the end of the day it just comes down to each guy. Can he grow a beard, and does he like it on his face? Some women and guys love them, others find them hideous. Perhaps it's just a growing fad, but it's now one I am fully embracing, face-first so-to-speak.

I don't advocate for every guy to grow a beard. It is itchy, it takes a long time to grow, and at the end of the day you might get a scary surprise (it grows in red). However, it's definitely something you should try once... like making friends with your neighbors... or wearing an all-white linen suit.

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The Victoria's Secret Models Guide to London

December 2, 2014, 10:29 am

≫ Next: This Is What Happens When You Order Ridiculously Cheap Clothing From Singapore

≪ Previous: Rise of the Lumbersexual: Why I'm Keeping My November Beard

London is calling and this time, it's the Victoria's Secret models who are answering! This week, 48 of the world's most beautiful women will make their way across the pond (along with several dozen editors, photographers and mega celebrities) to partake in the sexiest night of the year, otherwise known as the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. While they pack their bags, we're catching up with a few of the show's seasoned veterans for their take on the best places to eat, play and stay in London. From shopping and bargain hunting in the famous Portobello Market with Elsa Hosk to finding the best eateries in the city with native Lily Donaldson, you'll never get bored with the models's guide to the fashion capitol. For all of their top-rated picks, scroll through the answers below, and be sure to catch all of your favorite Angels in action when they hit the VS runway on Tuesday, December 9 on CBS!

Lily Donaldson

Where to eat: The Cow does great pub food and if you want amazing Indian food, there are a lot of good restaurants along Brick Lane in East London.

Where to workout: I like to go for long walks in Hamstead Heath.

Where to play: I had a lot of fun at Lous Lous recently, but otherwise I just like to go to the local pub! We also have great parks in London where I love to just walk around. The Tate Modern is also always worth a trip!

Jasmine Tookes

Where to eat: Dishoom is a Bombay Café in London that has amazing food and a great atmostphere.

Where to play: I always shop at the Tom Ford stores. Otherwise, my absolute favorite place to visit is The London Eye, especially at night!

Elsa Hosk

Where to eat: My favorite place to eat when I'm in London is Berwick Street Market.

Where to workout: I love going for a run in Hyde Park.

Where to play: Whenever I'm in London, I try to make time to shop at all of the little vintage shops throughout the city.

Where to stay: The Portobello Hotel is where I like to stay when visiting London. It's so nice and the location is great!

Jacquelyn Jablonski

Where to eat: I've had a few people take me to Dean Street Townhouse in the past which I thought was delicious!

Where to visit: Normally, after work, I will try to walk around and grab a bite rather than staying inside and ordering room service. Or I will have some friends there show me around!

Where to stay: I actually like to stay at the hotel where we will be for the show - in Earl's Court. I like the area it is in and the rooms are very cozy.

Sigrid Agren

Where to stay: The London Edition is my favorite hotel to stay at in London. The location is great as it is so central and the rooms are big and cozy and it is also close to Regent's Park, where I love to go running after a long day in the studio.

Where to play: If I have time I love shopping at Liberty's, they have a great selection of clothes, jewelry, beauty and home products. I lose the notion of time when I step in the store!

Where to eat: My favorite places to eat are Tibits, a great lunch place with an amazing buffet, you can make your own plate with what you like. I also like Mildreds, a delicious vegetarian restaurant.

Eniko Mihalik

Where to stay: The last time I was in London I stayed at the Ace Hotel, which I found to be quite hip, young, fresh and unique.

Where to eat: One of my favorite restaurants is The Chiltern Firehouse. If I have time after work, this is the place I go for dinner with my local friends.

Where to play: Of course this time of the year Winter Wonderland is a must visit in my eyes. I'm such a kid at heart. I enjoy carnivals, festivals, anything that involves scary rides, candy stations, & fun with friends.

Ming Xi

Where to eat: As I am Chinese, I really love Chinese food, and the Chinese food in London is better than the Chinese food in NYC! I will go to Chinatown for sure ... maybe dim sum - small but delicious!

Where to play: I love to go shopping in Harrods when I have some time!

Lindsay Ellingson

Where to play: I want to go back to the Victoria and Albert and visit the London Tower, I've never been there. I've heard it's haunted and I'm so into that, so I have to go there.

More on Modelinia.com:

Every Single Model Walking in the 2014 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show!

VS Fashion Show Countdown: 10 Things We Learned About Karlie Kloss via Instagram

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This Is What Happens When You Order Ridiculously Cheap Clothing From Singapore

December 2, 2014, 11:59 am

≫ Next: 6 Brushes Every Woman Needs in Her Makeup Bag

≪ Previous: The Victoria's Secret Models Guide to London

Scrolling through Facebook a few weeks ago, I came across this photo on a friends' page:

Now this was my kind of coat! But... NastyDress? What the heck was NastyDress?

Intrigued, I clicked on the link-- Yep. It was pretty nasty, all right. Most of the dresses would get a girl arrested for indecent exposure if she were to wear one of them in public.

But when I looked at the coats and sweaters, I found plenty of options I loved. And the prices were AH-MAZ-ING.

Tops were $10 - $15! Sweaters were $15-$20! And coats were all under $40!

Even though NastyDress is located overseas, the site offered free shipping- or expedited shipping with a tracking number for just $1.20. Yes. You read that right. $1.20. It all seemed like it was too good to be true-- But I filled up my virtual shopping cart just in case! Then I did some research to make sure this company was on the up and up.

I was dubious and disappointed when I couldn't find a single independent review of NastyDress online. What was up with THAT?! But after much searching, I finally found a blurry shot on Instagram of some clothes on a bed with a caption that read: "My package from NastyDress arrived."

This questionable image (and the fact that NastyDress accepts PayPal) was enough to convince me to place my order, because...

YOLO.

Then, since I am a very private person, I shared my news on Facebook. Immediately, my friends jumped on the news. A long discussion on all things NastyDress ensued in the comments. What was this NastyDress of which I spoke? Could those prices seriously be legit? Would I please, please, please report back on my findings when (AND IF) my NastyDress package arrived?

Well, friends, after about two weeks of anxious waiting, my NastyDress package has, indeed, arrived. On the plus side, it was shipped via DHL with a tracking number, so I was able to monitor where it was, from Singapore to Hong Kong to Ohio, and when it would get here.

On the minus side, it was missing two items from my order. One of those items has since shipped, but via an unknown carrier, so I can't track it. No word on the other.

However, here's what I can tell you so far:

First, let's look at the gray coat- My most pricy NastyDress purchase.

I felt like I couldn't go wrong with what NastyDress called a woollen gray coat. I carefully consulted the NastyDress size chart, converted the centimeters to inches, re-measured myself, and ordered a size large instead of my usual medium.

When the coat arrived, it looked a little different from the photo- My 'woollen' coat was actually... fleece. It was cute, though. Anxiously, I tried it on.

Uhhhhhh. This coat clearly was not going to work on me. Not only was it cut for a person with no boobs, the sleeves ended far above my wrists. I checked the label again. Size Large. Size Large?! "Size large for KIDS, maybe," I snorted. And that's when it hit me.

"Punky!" I called downstairs.

"Yes, Mom?" my ten-year-old answered.

"Come here!" I shouted. "I have something for you." My daughter came upstairs and grinned from ear to ear when I asked her to try on the coat.

"I love it!" she squealed after checking herself out in the mirror. And I had to agree. It looked far better on her than me.

"Okay, you can have it," I said. She jumped up and down excitedly.

"Thank you, Mom!" she said. "I love it so much!"

"And you should probably stick around for a bit," I said, eyeing my NastyDress pile suspiciously. "You might end up with a few more things."

For one thing, there was this "Elegant Dress." Looking at this picture, I thought it would be super cute with leggings and boots, and once again, I had ordered a size up, just to be on the safe side. I found it in the pile and tried it on.

The hell?

The photographer, i.e. my daughter, was laughing a little too hard at my misfortune.

How could this possibly be the dress I had seen in the photo? The "skirt" portion was only about two inches long! The only explanation was that the model was the size of an American Girl Doll!

"Here. You try it," I muttered after I had removed it, tossing it to my daughter.

This was so totally NOT FAIR. So far, Punky: 2. Lindsay: 0.

I had high hopes for NastyDress's "plunging neck" top, but when I pulled it out of its plastic packaging, I realized that once again, the sizing was way, waaaaay off.

The neck wasn't exactly plunging -- and it was a lot shorter on me than on the model in the picture. Surprise, surprise...

It also had holes in it and random strings hanging from the sleeves. FAIL.

My daughter, on the other hand, thought the top was fabulous. She clipped the strings, sewed up the hole with a little needle and thread and wore it to school the next day. DAMMIT.

"Don't look so smug, Punky," I told her. "I'm pretty sure I'm keeping this "loose-fitting dolman sleeve sweater." It definitely looked bigger than the other tops, and I'd had visions of wearing it over a pair of leggings or skinny jeans.

Wonder of wonders, the sweater fit! But on me, it settled in an unflattering spot on my upper hips, like a sweatshirt. It wasn't very flattering.

Still, I was determined to make the best of the bad situation! IT FIT! IT FIT!

"Can I try it on, too, Mom?" Punky asked. I hesitated for a moment. The truth was, if I had tried this sweater on in a store, I would never, EVER have bought it.

"Okay, Punky," I sighed. "Let's see how it looks on you."

Of course, it looked fabulous. OF COURSE.

The sweater was added to Punky's pile. My situation was looking dire.

My final item was this pretty red 'Leisure Knit Coat.'

Is this not a fantastic head-to-toe look? I pinned this photo, I liked it so much. The coat was simply awesome.

Until I put it on.

Cute, but... On me, the coat was a shrug. That model had to have been, what.... THREE FEET TALL?!

I took it off and handed it wearily to my daughter without comment.

Life is so not fair!

Oh, come on. Do you HAVE to kick a mom when she's down?!

This was totally not okay.

"Take the clothes, AND GO," I said in a strangled voice. My daughter had a whole new fashionable wardrobe. And I? I had nothing. Nothing.

"NastyDress," I whispered. "How could you?" And then I threw myself on my bed and cried for the rest of the day.

In closing, I heartily recommend NastyDress to all of you who are no larger than a girls size 10/12, who don't mind if your new clothing arrives with holes in it and (lots of) random strings hanging from the seams, and who understand that the photo of the garment you're ordering is just a vague approximation of what it will REALLY look like -- if you were to put it on a doll.

You should also know that there are a lot of different websites out there that appear to be part of the same company, and offer the same exact clothes-- SamiDress.com and DressLily.com and RoseWholesale.com, just to name a few. Singaporean readers have informed me (over and over and over again) that the NastyDress site is registered in China, but all of the clothing I received came from Singapore. What could that mean? I have no idea.

The bottom line is that the next time I have a hankering for cheap clothing at rock bottom prices, I'll hit up Forever 21.

My daughter, however, has added another item to her Christmas list: MORE CLOTHES FROM SINGAPORE!

Does Santa take orders from NastyDress? I guess we're about to find out...

Keep up with all of Lindsay Ferrier's suburban turmoil by following her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram!

All NastyDress website images via NastyDress.com.

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6 Brushes Every Woman Needs in Her Makeup Bag

December 2, 2014, 12:49 pm

≫ Next: Writing Style, Culture & Honesty: the Truth From Fashion's Global Nomad

≪ Previous: This Is What Happens When You Order Ridiculously Cheap Clothing From Singapore

Everyone wants to know the secret to a flawless face. In addition to the right skincare, priming, and base products, the key is proper application, and for that you need the right tools! Professional makeup artists carry extensive brush rolls, but even the most devoted makeup aficionado can be overwhelmed by all the options. Which brush should be used for foundation? Which brush for applying eyeshadow? Should a separate brush be used for primer? And to put it in broad strokes, are all these brushes really necessary? While I believe the more tools you have the more makeup-magic you can conjure, most women only need six brushes to create a stunning beauty look. That's right, just six! I've streamlined a selection of essential makeup brushes below, so every woman has the ability to create a polished look at home or on-the-go.

1) Foundation Brush
Arguably the most important brush to own. Apply liquid, cream, or powder foundation with ease. This brush will blend product seamlessly into skin for a flawless finish.

2) Contour Brush
Must-have for sculpting supermodel cheekbones! Use this brush to contour and sculpt the face, to apply blush and to highlight the high points of the face.

3) Mascara/Brow Wand
2-in-1 brush. Sculpt brows into place or use this brush to apply your favorite mascara or separate your lashes for a full, flirty look.

4) Precision Shadow Brush
Contour and define the socket area with ease! This brush can also be used to smudge eye pencils and shadows under the eye. The shape of the brush allows for precise definition as it collects and distributes product with accuracy.

5) Eyeshadow Brush
2-in-1 brush. Use to apply shadows and build intensity of color or blend harsh edges without removing too much color. This brush can also be used to apply powder to set concealer around the eye area.

6) Angled Liner/Brow Brush
Another 2-in-1 brush! Use the angled tip to create the perfect winged or cat-eye effect. Shape and fill in brows and even use the brush to apply lipstick for a crisp edge around the lip line.

With these 6 brushes you can sculpt contours, accentuate lids, groom brows, and so much more! My Greatest Hits: Brush Collection from my 2014 Holiday Collection has these 6 professional tools wrapped in an easy-to-carry brush roll so you can stealthily slip them into your handbag and take them anywhere, and everywhere! Find it here & get ready to brush on perfection!

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Writing Style, Culture & Honesty: the Truth From Fashion's Global Nomad

December 2, 2014, 1:11 pm

≫ Next: Is Stay-at-Home Motherhood a Luxury?

≪ Previous: 6 Brushes Every Woman Needs in Her Makeup Bag

Image courtesy of Kelley Mullarkey

Kelley Mullarkey starts our Skype conversation by declaring, "I leave for Morocco in 24 hours." Mullarkey is publisher and editor-in-chief of majestic disorder, a magazine for nomadic creatives. She is an on-the-go cartographer of the intersection between writing, style and that ever-buzzing, ever-definition-resistant idea of culture. She currently lives in London with Sean Stillmaker, majestic disorder's co-publisher and EIC (with intermittent stints in Tanzania in 2011, Portugal last spring and now the Sahara Desert, to name a few), but I still remember getting coffee with her in Chicago's Bucktown neighborhood as she gushed about the city's fashion and Russian Literature (Anna Karenina's "gold in the sand," to be exact). She's what happens when a Chicago mind wanders.

Three years ago, I got lost in an industrial parking lot in West Chicago on my way to meet Mullarkey. After spinning around, I stumbled upon a couple sharing a chocolate-frosted doughnut atop their convertible, and asked, "Where am I?" They responded with another question: "Where are you trying to go?"

Three years later, I'm taking this question and running with it. Mullarkey obsesses over what she calls the "global nomad." majestic disorder has a growing international print circulation of 5,000 sold in over 25 countries and an online readership of 75,000, yet Mullarkey writes to reach a niche. I asked her:

Where are you trying to go?

That's actually something I'm trying to answer through research. I'm looking at it after having been here [in London] two years from a retrospective perspective. Why did I choose to leave? What am I looking to find here, and what am I looking to find when I travel? When I'm traveling, I'm walking around the streets for 12 hours a day. [As a publication,] We're not looking online and then going off of someone else's itinerary. We're really going there to find the root of the culture.

What drew me to London was the aspect of bringing together these cultures from all over the globe. They diverge and go into these little pockets of the neighborhoods and impact how these neighborhoods change. Traveling, for me, and what we do with majestic, digs under the surface. We're not going to these places to create a "Top Five Places You Should Go When You're Here." We draw up narratives and we scratch under the surface to see what's really there and why these people are doing what they do.

Fashion and art are reactions to what's happening in a place. People don't really understand that the most intellectually stimulating people actually work in fashion. You have to be so intelligent to work in this industry, to understand and see everything that comes down the runway. When I travel, I'm interested in finding the people that are creating the culture that they wear.

How do you define "global nomad?"

Our usage of the term "global nomad" pertains to an expressive expatriate who works within a creative field. The trend of independently working remote has increased substantially over the years, which can be attributed to digitalization, the work-place evolution into more freelance and the attitude and aspirations amongst 21-39 year-olds who are more entrepreneurial in spirit with wanderlust sensibilities.

Global nomads have certainly influenced our work, especially considering that we are global nomads. Both [Sean and I] are originally from Chicago and currently live in London, but we also travel all around the world. For us, traveling is not just for work purposes or influenced by our sense of adventure; it is our determination to understand the world we live in and to examine how societies are similar and different. We strive to connect them to the general public to demonstrate that we are a human community together.

majestic disorder is an arts + culture publication that examines global cultural issues. In previous issues, we examined Nigeria's blossoming film and fashion industries and investigated the growing dairy industry in Ireland and America's renaissance in olive oil. In our current issue, we traveled to Valletta in the obscure country of Malta, which will be crowned Europe's Capital of Culture in 2018.

Cover image by Kenneth Lam Photography

Even more important in this current issue, we took a look at the trend of global nomads who work independently and remote and how it is a Western privilege. Although there is a huge demand for this lifestyle, it's not accessible to everyone. There are those with tremendous passport restrictions prohibiting them from adopting the lifestyle of a global nomad. We investigated the hardships those from India have while traveling outside of Southeast Asia and how those restrictions create great barriers. All of these stories and the people we feature from around the world transpire from our exuberance to understand global cultures and communities.

How do you tell a story about places, spaces and people commonly called "exotic" in popular culture? There are so many fashion practices that appropriate. How do you pay honor to the specificity of subjects that are likely to feel "foreign" to some readers?

God, it was in our second issue - we interviewed this really great woman named Trae Harris. She's an actress on last season's Orange is the New Black. Her personal style is rooted in all of the places that she's traveled. She's been to Haiti and done work there, and Ghana, Thailand, and through all of those travels, she's brought home so many pieces. One of the things that she's always said is, "If it's something that I know has religious significance or cultural significance, I will not alter that." That's a huge part of fashion. We're not going into these places and looking at it from an "exotic" perspective and other-ing these people. What we try to do is go in and not exoticize, but tell, to be honest, what a unique culture really is. We focus on the people of that region instead of taking those pieces and putting them on a Westernized model and perceiving that as fashion. That's absolutely not what we believe in.

Where is the fashion publication industry headed? Where does majestic disorder stand out?

Jefferson Hack founded Dazed & Confused when he was like 19 years old. I watched this interview with him on SHOWStudio recently, and he said, "The golden age of publishing is over." Having these mass titles that run the market? That is nonexistent now. But print is not dying. If anything, print is completely on the rise. What we're seeing is a decrease in mass titles and an increase in honest and individually told publications.

People are ready to go through a digital detox. It's insane. We're seeing is this decrease in mass-market publications because people are seeing through it. It makes them feel bad about themselves. It's objectifying. It's negative, and it's completely turned upside down. Every time you open up those publications, they're not inspiring. You know what it's controlled by. Advertising.

People are fed up with being fed one idea of beauty, one idea of wealth, one idea of travel. People don't want to be handed something; they want to be more active. That's affecting media, and insofar as majestic goes, one of the biggest gaps that I think we fill is, one, we don't digitally alter any photos. We completely have what I would say is one of the most ethnically diverse magazines. I think we focus more on the non-Western aspect while other titles, even though they're still independent, are following and falling back on that Westernized perspective. That's where we tend to differ. My personal interest is this new rise of global nomads who are saying "no" to the Westernized world and completely leaving their countries, and why they're leaving their countries.

How do you navigate contradictory currents of feminism and sexism as a writer?

In any industry, you're not labeled as a writer, you're labeled as a female writer. It's always that female put in front of it. Is it supposed to be like, "Wow, this is really important because she's a woman?" You would never say, "He's a male editor-in-chief." That's never something you're going to see, just like you don't see, "She's the white editor-in-chief of Vogue." But you will see, "She's the black editor." I think it's the same thing that's happening in most industries, and it's unfair.

Woman, first of all, what does that mean? That's not even a gender. That's a label. People specifically tag that on in a description only in order to make you feel less than, or to make you feel like, "Wow, this could have been filled by a man, but it's not." A lot of niche publications over here are run by males. It is a male-dominated industry, and so it's kind of shocking, like, "Oh, you're the female that's running and publishing this?" It throws people off because they expect a male to be the one doing it. We still see that, and I think it's something that we're going to be fighting for a very long, long time, unfortunately.

Female-writer, Chicago-native, London-based...hyphenations aside, what is a question that all writers should ask themselves?

For one, why are you writing? There's so much out there, so what is it that you're trying to say? What is it that you're arguing or campaigning? Writing is no different than the work that lawyers do: you argue a point. Writers just do it in a written sense. For writers, whether it's specifically journalism or it's creative writing, understanding what it is that you're trying to say and what's important to you answers the "Why are you writing?" Nowadays, everyone thinks they're a writer. Everyone. Your mom has a blog, your friend has a BlogSpot. Yes, we're all taught how to write, but it's about what you are trying to say. You can list five places to go or five things to eat, but as a writer, I think it's essential to know the message that you're trying to convey.

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Is Stay-at-Home Motherhood a Luxury?

December 2, 2014, 1:37 pm

≫ Next: Kyle Brincefield Talks Taking His Brand Studmuffin NYC From Chelsea Clubs to Vogue (NSFW SLIDESHOW)

≪ Previous: Writing Style, Culture & Honesty: the Truth From Fashion's Global Nomad

Author with her mother circa 1982

While I am not yet a mother and have not been faced with career and family choices within the context of motherhood, I grew up under the care of a wonderful stay-at-home mother (SAHM). My mother is one of seven children who was born into a loving and conservative Catholic family in the 1950s. While educational achievement and being the best you could be was integral to her upbringing, traditional gender roles were also embraced. Just shy of her 22nd birthday, my mother married my father while she was still finishing nursing school, had me at 24, and then my first of two brothers two years later. When my father's income alone was enough to support the family, my mother left her nursing career at age 28.

The Façade of Stay-at-Home Motherhood

Most SAHM's have lives very different from those of the women depicted on The Real Housewives. The majority of SAHM's do not enjoy daily wine fueled lunch dates with friends or are SAHM's who indulge in weekly shopping sprees and spa treatments. I have heard some SAHM's I know say that their ability to be home full-time is a "luxury" that many mothers do not get to experience. But, when I hear the word luxury, I think of expensive cars, 5-star hotels, or first class airline tickets to Europe. Motherhood certainly does not conjure up the image of luxury for me. Sure, stay-at-home motherhood can provide greater pleasure, satisfaction, and ease for a woman when she does not have to manage both her career and motherhood. And, I can imagine that there is not much that makes the soul happier than being physically present to witness your own child's milestones. But, I wonder-- who personally benefits the most from this so-called luxury?

The Beneficiaries of Stay-at-Home Motherhood

Children, of course, are the main beneficiaries of this luxury. They constantly reap the benefits when they have a mother who is always around to drive them to and from activities, a mother who can host play dates, and provide physical and emotional comfort at any moment. A woman's husband -- however grateful he is for his wife's work as a SAHM -- benefits greatly from his wife's luxury too. This allows him to strive to achieve career goals by working long hours if needed, he can travel for business without considering his wife's work travel schedule, and he does not have to leave an important meeting to pick-up a sick kid from school. These circumstances create more opportunities for his career growth and promotability. It is true that with more promotions comes increased responsibility and pressure. Work demands can pull him away from quality time with his family. So, it is not necessarily a luxury for the SAHM's husband. This makes me think of my own father. Would he have been able to achieve the same success if my mother also had a demanding career and they had to share family duties? I do not think so -- or at least, he would have experienced more stress managing the demands of both his career and family responsibilities. But, did the demands of his business cause him to experience work stress and miss out on some family time too? Yes, at times.

But, still... can stay-at-home motherhood really be considered a personal luxury for a woman? Perhaps in the short-term if luxury in this sense really means financial stability based on one income or if it means the ability to spend most of your time with your children. Or, maybe it can be considered a luxury depending on the amount of disposable income available to the SAHM. For a woman, stay-at-home motherhood does not guarantee a life-long luxurious circumstance no matter how big her husband's income is, how happy and stable the marriage seems, or how much financial stability she believes that she has.

Praise for Being a Great Caregiver vs. Praise for Professional Achievements

A mother who leaves her career gives up professional growth opportunities, financial independence, her professional identity, long-term earning potential, adult relationships with colleagues, and a certain type of satisfaction and empowerment only garnered from professional work and achievement. This is a separate type of satisfaction than the kind derived from the accomplishments of motherhood. How often does a child say?: "Thank you mama for cleaning up my barf with such precision, accuracy, and innovation last night. You are an integral part of this family team. You get a promotion and pay increase effective immediately!" Even when a mother receives unsolicited praise from her child, this is praise for being a superb nurturer and caregiver, which is very different from the intellectual type of recognition received from a boss or colleague.

The Sacrifice of Stay-at-Home Motherhood

If a SAHM decides that she wants to or she needs to go back to work, she has to somehow rationalize this gap of luxury in her work experience and try to prove that she is still current and capable. And worse yet, the luxury bubble can really burst if her marriage ends in divorce. She already gave up her own career years before which at one time provided some level of personal and financial independence. In a divorce, the SAHM could be cut off from access to finances, be at the financial mercy of her ex-husband, and have to rely on monthly financial support payments. If she reenters the same career, it will be virtually impossible for her to ever earn what she could have earned had she never left in the first place. About 6 years ago, all of these things happened to my mother when my parents' marriage dissolved. But despite these challenging circumstances and since finishing her Master's degree and reentering her nursing career after an absence of 20+ years, my mother still maintains that she is grateful to my father that she could be a SAHM and treasures every moment that she got to spend with my brothers and me. I am forever in awe of this -- what I see as not my mother's so-called luxury but her ultimate sacrifice -- putting her professional dreams on hold and that sense of self, personal security, and empowerment separate from the intrinsic rewards of motherhood and wifehood and those which can only be gained through professional achievement, personal independence, and financial self-sufficiency.

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Kyle Brincefield Talks Taking His Brand Studmuffin NYC From Chelsea Clubs to Vogue (NSFW SLIDESHOW)

December 2, 2014, 5:37 pm

≫ Next: From Farm-to-Face, Green Cosmetics and Skincare: An Interview With Brenda Brock

≪ Previous: Is Stay-at-Home Motherhood a Luxury?

I've been aware of Studmuffin NYC by Kyle Brincefield for a while. He frequently collaborates with my first interviewee, Scooter LaForge, and I've been seeing his brand blow up this year. He was kind enough to hang out with me for a while, so I ended up with far more interview than space allows. Please check out the slideshow to learn more about all the things Kyle is working on right now.

Phillip M. Miner: So where are you from?

Kyle Brincefield: I grew up in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and always had dreams of living somewhere else. After my first visit to New York, it was the only place I could see myself living. I still get excited to live here. I went back home and started saving money to move and left when I was 18 or 19.

I fell into what I'm doing now by wearing my clothes out. I was working at Barracuda in Chelsea and wearing the clothes I made. Pretty soon the DJs and drag queens wanted their own. I never considered it a career path for me, but I was poor and was like, "Let's make some extra cash!"

After that I got picked up by Pat Field! I never imagined knowing Pat Field, let alone working closely with her. From then on it was my focus. I had such a niche with the studs and the spikes. I was working two or three jobs back then, but little by little I would drop another job. Now it's the only thing I do. I sit around and watch TV and stud. [Laughs.]

PM: When did things really start taking off?

KB: I think it was Fashion Week. I had my first show at the Spring/Summer '15 New York City Fashion Week. I think of that collection as my "Welcome to the World" collection. I decided to invest in my brand and get on the fashion calendar. Pat Field was a huge help. She opened up her space for me, which is perfect for a downtown, edgy, streetwear brand. I was lucky enough to work with Pat's PR people, and they helped me out with contacts, so a lot of press came. It was one of the best nights of my life. After that I started getting calls from people asking to pull pieces to see on their models, and before I knew it I had clothes out with Cosmo, ID, Adon, GQ, Vogue.

PM: What kind of people are being dressed in your stuff?

KB: It's really fucking all over the place. It's been everyone from Miley Cyrus to Missy Elliot to Emma Watson to Adam Lambert to Nick Cannon. I'm honored. It's great to see my brand transcend through genres.

PM: Do you think part of that is because fashion is transformational and your clothes are so punk that anyone who wears them takes on this new persona?

KB: Absolutely. The clothes I make are what I wear when I go out. I'm somewhat of a shy person, but I do like to dress in these extreme, extravagant, loud, and flashy clothes and become a different personality.

PM: Because these clothes are your personal style, do you feel a connection when you see people in your stuff?

KB: Totally! I see people on the subway and they're wearing my clothes and I want to run up to them and say something, because it's such a cool feeling. I mean, someone saw my style and vision and decided to pay for it! [Laughs.] It's so great, because I never know what anyone looks like who buys my clothes. Since I hand-make everything, I know every piece. When I see it, it's like, "Wow, that's who's wearing it now!"

PM: It's like an army of Kyles running around! How big do you want your army to get?

KB: I would love to keep growing the business. Each year I grow just a little bit more. I would love my own studio and showroom, with a few interns working for me. But people just aren't throwing money at new fashion brands. In 2005-2007 you'd have companies giving money to fashion startups. It's changed. All the advice I get now is "Grow your business slowly, and don't invest anything crazy."

PM: Wait, you have a huge output. You do this all yourself?!

KB: Yes! For shoots they'll ask me to messenger stuff over, and it's just like, "Well, I'm the messenger, so you can give me the details." I think there's a misconception that my brand is a lot bigger than it is because of the press. And that's awesome. I'll go with it.

PM: What is it like to be a startup fashion brand?

KB: I'm poor as hell! [Laughs.] It's up and down. Right now I have a lot of people who want to sell my clothes but not pay me until at least a month later. It's a lot of chasing. My life is emailing and calling and shaking down people for money.

PM: Can you imagine doing a toned-down, mass-produced collection?

KB: Every artist, no matter what they say, wants to make that kind of money, so yes, I would totally do something like that. There are 13-year-olds wearing my clothes now; I should figure out how to break into that market. [Laughs.] I'm kidding, kind of, but I love doing collaborations. I just collaborated with Vogue and am working with Nasty Pig, Converse, and Scooter LaForge for some upcoming stuff. But there will always be one-of-a-kind things coming out of my studio. That's just who I am. My commissions for crazier things are always my favorite to do, and when I'm working on a Fashion Week collection or one-of-a kind pieces, it's the only thing I want to be doing.

Learn more about Studmuffin NYC here, and be sure to follow them on Instagram @studmuffinnyc.

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From Farm-to-Face, Green Cosmetics and Skincare: An Interview With Brenda Brock

December 2, 2014, 6:33 pm

≫ Next: Yes, I Can Compete in Beauty Pageants and Still Call Myself a Feminist

≪ Previous: Kyle Brincefield Talks Taking His Brand Studmuffin NYC From Chelsea Clubs to Vogue (NSFW SLIDESHOW)

Brenda Brock is founder of Farmaesthetics and a well-regarded trailblazer in the green cosmetics movement. Read her take on the changing face of skincare and discover a DIY green gift idea for the coming season.

Omega: Most people don't equate personal beauty with farms. How have you connected beauty and farming, and what makes "farm to face" so alluring?

Brenda: Before synthesized ingredients or pharmaceuticals entered our health and beauty regimens, the farm or garden was our medicine chest. Traditional herbal formulation is the craft of converting plant energy into herbal preparations for human benefit.

For Farmaesthetics, I formulate from this perspective and am continually expanding our relationships with small organic growers. For example, I work closely with Farmer Garman of Garman Organics in Rhode Island, to experiment with unusual and hard-to-find herbs and ingredients. This kind of relationship supports not just my creativity as a formulator, but fulfills our commitment to sustainable farming and land conservation.

Omega: You refer to yourself as a "ruralist." What exactly does that mean?

Brenda: It means I mine disciplines, philosophies, and practices found in rural kitchen cultures, specifically American, for their logic and methodology. This influences how I formulate products and create protocols and skincare regimens. Kitchen chemistry is an oral tradition and apprenticeship, something I learned growing up from my family in Texas, and working with this approach allows me the opportunity to pass along what I am learning. It is quite the experience, bringing these rural values into the world of beauty and cosmetic manufacturing.

Omega: Do you think the idea of beauty is shifting?

Brenda: Yes. The word "cosmetic" is giving way to the term "skin health." The former is focused on external appearance; the latter is focused on the condition that creates the external appearance. In cosmetic circles there is a lot of "use this and your skin will look its healthy best." In green skincare we say, "Use this and your skin will be its healthy best."

Omega: The skin care and cosmetics industry traffics in appearances. Sustainability and health concerns are secondary, if considered at all. How can we move beyond appearances and get people to care about the real costs of beauty?

Brenda: We have to get people to see it's not either/or, it's both. You can have quality without compromise. You can look great and be your most vital beautiful self and still make consumer choices that reflect your values and commitments.

The "big beauty" industry tends to tell us that plants are weak and pharmaceutical ingredients are strong. But that is not so. What is strong is "big beauty's" marketing muscle. Green skincare brands must contend with what the natural product market has been dealing with for years--heavy marketing for products that claim to be natural, when in fact they are not. Simply having a flower on the label with a tagline about the beautiful scent of lavender does not mean there is any lavender in the formula. This kind of marketing has made it hard to communicate the message of sustainability and has allowed synthetics to saturate the beauty industry as well as our environment.

Green beauty brands are more than the contents of the products they make. They are the whole process of what it took to get that product to you. Mainstream cosmetics tout the "latest and greatest" secret patented ingredient, but premium green beauty brands practice truth in labeling and position products in a straightforward, transparent way. This approach is as much a part of green beauty as the product itself.

Omega: Farmaesthetics has been around since 1999. Was it originally your goal to bring a new level of consciousness to the cosmetic and beauty industry?

Brenda: When I started the business there wasn't even a "green beauty" category. The market did not exist. There were natural and organic products, but they weren't rooted in farming, land conservation, or clean manufacturing. I didn't know anything about the cosmetic or skincare industry then. I just knew how to make herbal formulations with whole organic plants, oils, grains, and dairy--products made without synthetics, artificial dyes, fragrances, petroleum-based preservatives, or talc. By the time I crossed paths with the cosmetic industry, I was already established and there was no need for me to compromise. What I was doing was working, so I held tight to those values and still do.

Omega: Can you explain what it means to use whole, infused, herbs?

Brenda: Whole herbs contain thousands of constituents that work together to deliver more than one isolated ingredient can. So rather than using parts of plants, we use the whole herb and put it in large glass vats of oil and let it sit. I think Deepak Chopra said it best, "Isolating an active constituent from a plant is an affront to nature. It is like taking the intelligence and leaving the wisdom behind."

Omega: What is an easy, farm- or garden-derived cosmetic item people can make themselves?

Brenda: Start with something easy, like calendula. Calendula is an annual and is known in herbal circles as the "skin-mending herb." You'll need dried calendula flowers. Try growing it yourself, then harvest and dry the flowers; or buy fresh flowers from a farm in summer and dry them; or buy dried flowers from a farm or herbalist. Fill a glass jar halfway with flowers, then pour in an organic almond or sunflower oil and fill to the top. Cap the jar and let it steep for 2-4 weeks. Strain out the dried flowers before using, and you'll have a beautiful and effective herbal oil for your face, body, bath, and baby.

Explore more in the category of Health and Healing.

© 2014 Omega Institute for Holistic Studies, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Yes, I Can Compete in Beauty Pageants and Still Call Myself a Feminist

December 3, 2014, 6:39 am

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My name is Kiara Imani Williams. I am 25-years-old, and I am a third year law student at the University Virginia School of Law. I am an intelligent, independent, African-American woman. I am socially conscious and politically aware. I am an activist. I am a philanthropist. I am a feminist.

I am a feminist who competes in beauty pageants. Yes, the type of pageants where women walk across a stage in a bikini and high heels, and work to convince a panel of judges that they want "world peace." In fact, I am the winner of Miss Virginia USA's 2015 "Miss Congeniality" award. (No, I am not kidding). I subject myself to being objectified by a panel of judges who over analyze my body, my clothes, my facial beauty, and my poise. I wear hair extensions, makeup, and fake nails. I wear butt glue to keep my bikini in place when I walk, and I twirl and turn on stage in overpriced evening gowns.

The purpose of this post is not to defend the institution of beauty pageants, but to ask for acceptance. After two years of competing in various pageant systems, I am well aware that they are problematic in many ways. They glorify a European standard of beauty. I can admit that walking across a stage in a two-piece is not necessarily indicative of one's commitment to living a healthy lifestyle.

So why do I compete? Why do I subject myself to such an objectifying activity? How can I call myself a feminist if I am participating in a system that reinforces "unhealthy ideals of attractiveness?" These are the questions I am constantly asked by my peers who find out that I compete in beauty pageants. I want take a moment to answer these questions.

My answer is actually quite simple. I compete in pageants because I like them. I like to dress up, I like make-up, and I like to perform. I have fun choosing my evening gown. I like challenging myself to eat healthy meals and remain physically fit. I enjoy speaking at local schools and making other public appearances. I have fun meeting different women across the state who enjoy the same types of things I do. I like being put in a position where I can mentor young girls and talk about the importance of education.

I fully believe that pageants have the incredible potential to provide access to education, leadership training, and public relations skills to many young woman. Having worked internships at MTV, Fox News, and Disney ABC Television since I started competing, I can honestly say that the skills that I have acquired in pageantry have contributed more to my success than any other activity. I know how to handle myself under pressure, I know how to work a room, and I know how to command attention.

To the self-proclaimed feminists who judge me for my involvement in pageants, I want you to know that I do not compete in pageants for the attention of men. I am proud of my body, but it does not define me or validate my worth. Yes, there are some women who go to unhealthy extremes to shed pounds. But what about those of us who do make a commitment to eating healthy and working out? It's hard being a woman today when society bashes you for being unhealthy and overweight, while simultaneously bashing you for striving to be healthy and fit.

Why, may I ask, is it okay for "feminists" to demand that women be given the right to choose their own path, then to place demands on the acceptable pathways to feminism? Is a mother who chooses to stay at home with her children inherently any less of a feminist than the CEO of a Fortune 500 company? Is the mother of a little girl who enjoys playing with dolls any less of a feminist than the mother of a little girl who enjoys playing with toy trucks?

I have been criticized, judged and attacked by "feminists" who judge me for my choices. Following the atrocious sexual assault incidents on my campus, I was even accused of perpetuating rape culture by participating in pageantry, as if my love for fashion is synonymous with asking someone to sexually assault me. As a law student, I am constantly told that no one will take me seriously if I am too feminine. I have been told by professors to lower my voice register, and to wear shorter heels and darker colors if I want to get a job. When did the word "feminist" turn into a divisive ploy turning females against one another?

I don't like the color pink because society tells me to like the color pink. I just... like it. It's that simple. I can't tell you why. Maybe it's a combination of nature and nurture. I hope that my future daughters will grow up in a society where they are free to embrace every aspect of their womanhood, whatever that may mean to them. I want them to feel free to wear pretty dresses without living in fear that they are asking to be raped, or to wear basketball shorts without being accused of dressing like a boy. In order for that to happen, we have to stop judging one another for the choices we make. How can we ask men to respect us if we are not respecting one another? Feminism and femininity can co-exist. I am a student at one of the most prestigious law schools in the country; I believe in female equality; I am Miss Congeniality; and I really do want world peace.

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Three Gift Giving Rules for Your Happiest Holiday Yet

December 3, 2014, 7:16 am

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Walmart, Target, Amazon -- as usual, these were among the most sought after retailers this past Black Friday. And before the sun set on Friday evening, my inbox was already exploding with alerts on even bigger and better sales on Cyber Monday to help knock out some holiday gifts ... things, things, things and more things! Give the gift of things!

Don't get me wrong, getting things is great. Who doesn't love to get a cool, new tech gadget or a fancy, new designer handbag for the holidays? But, as research continues to show, it's the experiences we create with the things we receive and the people we experience them with that leave us far happier than the item alone. There's a reason you never see things by themselves in memory books or photo albums -- they are only as memorable as the people and the experiences that surround them.

I'm in the experience business so I'm fortunate to watch the power experiences have on people everyday. I see the studies conducted on event attendees and, more importantly, I see the emotions on their face as they leave my clients' venues. And I can say with absolute confidence that experiences of almost any kind are one of the most powerful gifts you can give to the people you care about most.

I'm certainly not the first to argue that our overall happiness is not based simply on what we get or what we have. But after years in the experience business, I know that the happiest among us are those who are continually investing in their, experiential equity -- a wealth of memories created by what we do with what we have that we build and nurture throughout our lives.

So, while you won't see this listed on retailers' websites whose core focus is simply to sell you things, I propose three core reasons why using your holiday shopping as an opportunity to invest in your loved ones' experiential equity will make this year, for you and the people you love, a magical one.

Doing > Having
Compared to having things in one's life, the incremental happiness driven by experiences trumps all. And there's data to back this up. Leaf Van Boven, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at University of Colorado (Boulder) surveyed more than 12,000 Americans "and found that when asked which made them happier, most respondents chose their experiential investment over their material possessions." I can share stacks of similar data that show the power of experiences like going on a vacation or experiencing the concert of a favorite band has greater impact on our overall happiness, our mental health and even our physical being. The ongoing problem, as noted in a study by San Francisco State University Professor of Psychology Ryan Howell, is that "people continue to believe that more money and more possessions will make them happy, even though 35 years of well-being research has shown that this is generally not the case."

Spent Time > Spent Money
The power of giving yourself and your time to someone you love will always beat anything you can buy off the shelf. Think about it--what child wouldn't want to have some alone time with a dad, mom, uncle or aunt doing just about anything that's focused on them? Whether it's playing with a new toy, watching a DVD in the living room or going out to a restaurant, make the usage itself an experience by giving your time--an investment in that experiential equity. The reality is great experiences don't have to be a ticketed event--what might seem like the mundane is often magical when combined with your time, energy, and presence of mind being in the moment with someone you love.

High Touch > Touch Screen
It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that Apple's iPad is on track to be the most popular gift this holiday season followed by gaming consoles. For kids, experiential purchases might actually have the greatest impact of all. We live in a technological ecosystem that enables our kids to remain "connected" with the world without leaving their couch. Don't get me wrong--I'm all for technology; but what I know is that while technology provides kids with amazing opportunities, it isn't a replacement for getting out and experiencing first-hand what their communities have to offer.

A few years ago, I saw a story on CBS Sunday Morning about an organization called The Jack and Jill Late Stage Cancer Foundation--an incredible nonprofit that treats parents who have received a terminal cancer diagnosis and have children living at home by organizing and funding once-in-a-lifetime vacations. These trips are actually prescribed by the parent's oncologist and provide the entire family with the opportunity to escape their day-to-day reality while creating happy, family memories. I continued to be moved by the work this foundation does and it's an example I often share with people to illustrate the power of experiences and the way we all inherently value them in our lives.

As the holiday season kicks off, let's resist the siren song of things and start a movement to give the gift of the experience by supporting organizations building this spirit within our communities and by creating opportunities in our own lives to increase the stockpile of gifts that will never expire or go out of style -- memories.

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Two Steps to Customize the Little Black Dress for You This Holiday Party Season

December 3, 2014, 10:22 am

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It's that time of year again. You have several Holiday parties to attend and dress up for this month. Your wardrobe plan includes shopping for or reaching into your closet to grab your go-to staple piece -- the little black dress, also known as the 'LBD'.

The LBD fashion rule has been shared with women for decades -- own a simple, yet elegant little black dress that can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. To this day, I have not met a woman who does not own a black dress or considers a black dress a must-have wardrobe staple.

When we begin exploring the benefits of color analysis, the key question that comes up is should you have a little black dress in your closet, whether black is in your seasonal color palette or not?

As an image consultant who specializes in color, my answer is actually no if the specific color and tint of black is not in your color palette. If you choose to wear a little black dress when your seasonal color palette does not include black, you could be making yourself appear older, unbalanced, dull and highlight skin imperfections quite simply because you are not wearing a color that aligns with you.

It is time to customize the LBD rule for you!

Here are two easy steps to follow to determine if and how to customize the LBD rule for you:

1. Determine if black is in your color palette:
A color analysis consultation will guide you on what colors are best for you and what color flow palette you are in. If you are a True Winter or flow of Winter, black or a variation of black is in your palette. The LBD rule does work for you if this is the case. Make sure you are wearing the black that corresponds to your color palette (e.g. brown-black, true black, blue-black etc.). If the color black is not in your palette, read on to step #2.

2. Determine the most neutral and timeless color that aligns with you:
The main purpose of the LBD rule is to offer long lasting neutral versatility into a woman's wardrobe. If black is not aligned with your color palette, this can still be achieved by substituting the color black with a color or colors that work best for you. In step #1 you would have found out your color flow palette and star colors. Select the most neutral or timeless of these star colors for your own customized LBD rule.

I am a True Summer and therefore a little black dress is not in harmony with my coloring. My LBD rule is actually an LND and LCD rule which stands for Little Navy Dress and Little Charcoal Gray Dress. Both of these customized rules offer me the timeless versatility that a little black dress would offer me, but instead, now I give off my best energy by wearing colors that work best for me.

There's no time like the present to customize the LBD rule for you to position your color choices to give off your best at your next Holiday party.

I hope this blog post inspires you to wear your authenticity!

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Adjust These 3 'Sexpectations' for a Better Sex Life

December 3, 2014, 11:05 am

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Unrealistic expectations can ruin one's opportunity for happiness in all areas of life, but especially in the bedroom. We've all experienced high expectations for spectacular sex with a new partner ruining the reality of the event (that would have actually been perfectly fine if we didn't build it up so much beforehand). Just as sexual expectations, "sexpectations," if you will, don't serve us well in the beginning of relationships, they can also wreck havoc over time in long-term relationships.

Below are three common areas where unrealistic expectations get in the way of a great sex life. Adjusting your expectations to be in line with these has the potential to impact your sex life and your overall relationship for the better.

1. Sexual desire discrepancy is natural.

Sure, in the beginning of a relationship sex is hot, frequent, and perfectly compatible. That's great! It keeps you interested long enough to become attached to the person and gives you something to fondly look back to when things get less compatible. That's just the thing, things do get less compatible at times. The disappearance of that passionate sex doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it is common. Sexual desire discrepancy, where one member of the couple has higher or lower desire compared to their partner, is a feature of most long-term romantic relationships. A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that sexual desire discrepancy was common, and women employed a number of strategies to get back on track with their partner, including having sex without desire, communicating, meeting partner's needs, and just giving it time to work itself out. So don't fret if you and your partner aren't in sync at all times. In fact, expect that you won't be! Having the expectation of desire discrepancy as a natural part of the relationship will take away the stress so many couples needlessly associate with it.

2. Men don't always have higher sexual desire than women.

This expectation, that men are always ready for sex and women are always refusing it, is harmful for men and women. It is not consistently supported by research and leaves men who aren't always wanting sex feeling inadequate and women who are always wanting sex feeling like nymphomaniacs. In my research, I have found fairly consistently that women and men are equally likely to be the member of the couple with lower sexual desire relative to their partner. And when we have interviewed women about this, they've expressed frustration when their desire dynamic isn't consistent with these stereotypes because it becomes harder to talk about with their partner and therefore harder to overcome. By pushing back against gender stereotypes and acknowledging that there is probably as much variation within each gender as there is between each gender, you'll lessen the pressures of conforming to those roles that can add up over time.

3. Orgasms are not a requirement of "successful" sex.

Early sexual response cycles from Masters & Johnson, and later, Kaplan, had sexual response peaking at orgasm and ending at resolution. However, more recent conceptualizations of sexual response have acknowledged that there is a lot more to sex than wham, bam, orgasm, done. Work from Basson has led to a more circular model, with the option of orgasm (or not), and satisfaction being a more important output. Focusing on engaging with your partner in satisfying sexual exploration rather than "getting off" will enhance the quality. Recent research has also found that sexual duration may be a better way to classify sex than sexual frequency; maybe having sex longer is just as good as having sex more frequently. So focus on the quality rather than quantity and don't let the goal of orgasm get in the way of a pleasurable experience with your partner. Treat orgasm as a little (or big) bonus rather than letting it define whether it was a satisfying experience.

Adjusting "sexpectations" to be more in line with reality can protect your relationship from stress over sexual desire discrepancy, gender stereotypes that don't help anyone involved, and goal-centric sex that places orgasm as a badge of honor. Replace unrealistic expectations in your sex life with reality and you may find that reality isn't so bad after all.

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The A-to-Z All Things Holiday How-To Guide

December 3, 2014, 2:38 pm

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Every holiday it is hard not to wonder how generations of people (men and women) pulled off all that goes into the season. And this without the convenience of things like online shopping! There are still decorations to setup, events and get-togethers to plan for, gifts to buy and wrap, figuring out what everybody's going to wear, travel if you're heading somewhere for your celebration, cooking, planning, meal and food preparation. The list can be endless.

But with a little tactical management and strategy, you can own this holiday (and every holiday thereafter) starting today.

A - Attire. Make a list of who needs to get dressed (you, your spouse, the kids, etc.) and for what (ex: parties, events, school play). Do a quick mental or visual run through of what you already have in the closet. Can any of it be utilized for any of the items on the calendar? Note it. Then note what you may need to purchase, if anything. By taking this approach with a little advance planning you'll have a great chance of avoiding the chaos of trying to figure out what to wear when you need to get dressed. For most holiday events with exception to New Year's Eve, a more conservative look is most appropriate -- dress pants, dresses, etc. Layering a sheath dress over a turtleneck can work for almost anything. Look for opportunities where you can rework an item for more than one event. Don't be afraid to repeat an outfit if you need to!

B - Beauty. Events and parties means everybody's got to be put together and presentable more than on the typical day. It's actually a great way to incorporate a little holiday fun without a lot of extra work. Most major makeup and beauty brands have some kind of holiday product offering to make things a little festive. SpaRitual's Holiday Collection for 2014 has a range of colors from pretty purple to bright red, plus plenty of glitter options. It's all vegan and formulated without DBP, toulene, formaldehyde and formaldehyde resin. Mineral Fusion has excellent eye shadows for every skin tone that go on easily and can endure holiday busy.

C - Cookies. Cheating a little with holiday baked goods without compromising on the classic home-cooked experience is easier than ever with all of the new upstart gourmet food options as they often incorporate unique ideas, flavorings, etc. Peppermint chocolate brownie mixes, lemon sugar cookies, etc. You can find fantastic abundance online through searching, or check out online retailers like Williams Sonoma which carry lots of great kits for baking treats.

D - Decorating. Decorating for the holidays today has become so chic. There are so many choices starting with the classic and traditional items to modern, sleek, fun and other updates to make your holiday home styling personal and unique. Aim to determine a theme or common thread such as specific colors or ideas before you hit the stores -- it'll make it a lot easier. If you can shop a single store that carries it all or order online to make everything most efficient. Don't forget that some decor or holiday items may be harmful to pets or wildlife! Check before you buy to be sure. Don't rule out stores like Crate and Barrel or West Elm! They carry great holiday items that are unique.

E - Egg Nog. Egg nog has gone far beyond the traditional holiday drink! You'll find this holiday classic flavor in everything from cookies and ice cream to coffee syrups. There is plenty of fun ways to incorporate it into your celebration. Contrary to what it might seem, it's actually very easy to make from scratch, and there are a ton of recipes online that put cool and funky spins into the mix for something classic but also unique.

F - Figgy Pudding, Fruitcake. Many may have never had 'figgy pudding' or fruitcake but they're both holiday favorites. Recipes and variations of both are as cool and creative as any other decadent treat. While figgy pudding needs to be scratch made, fruitcake can be picked up online or at many stores and bakeries. Check out online for chic gourmet options (yes, that is possible!) especially when gifting this classic.

G - Gifts. Gift shopping can be chaos -- and expensive -- if you are not careful or prepared. The best defense in tackling your list is to have a great offense. Set a plan of who you need to buy for, how much you want to spend or can spend on the gift, and a few gift ideas for each. Shop for the items you know could sell out quickly like kids toys, etc. For gifting the traditional classics, such as robes and bath goods, look for items that put a new element in. Lemon slippers fit like cozy, comfy thick knit socks with leather on the feet. For a cool gift that keeps on giving all year, SpaHeros.com's beauty subscription sends a treat every month and the products are great.

H - Home. Home is usually either where the holidays are -- or is empty because you're somewhere else celebrating. Give yours a good cleaning before the season starts if you'll be hosting events. If not, it'll be great to come home to a clean house once you've returned from your holiday reveling. Plan to hang and take down decorations on single days where you've devoted an effort, or if you're busy, do so over the course of a week or so to make everything easier.

I - Ivy. Ivy makes for such a great decorating item, and you can find it in both real or artificial forms. Faux ivy can often be ideal for those with pets, small kids or large spaces to decorate, though you can use real ivy for all kinds of things -- centerpieces, gift decorations, etc.

J - Jesus. The holiday season incorporates multiple religions, beliefs, and celebrations. For those who observe it as the birth of Jesus, there are a great deal of awesome decor and gift items that honor this. The classic nativity scene has gotten a modern update -- you'll find all kinds of new variations and styles that represent. Art, cards, and other gift items are also more modern and stylish than ever. Shop online or hit a local store for options and ideas.

K - Kindness. The holidays are always so great for all the kindness and cheer that seems to increase during the season. Making an effort doesn't always mean it has to be a grand one -- little things can spread kindness and help others, too. Animal shelters are always in need of donations, senior citizen homes often appreciate gifts, etc. Doing something for someone in need is never disappointing!

L - Latkes. Latkes are a holiday classic especially for those who observe Hanukkah. So many new ideas and recipe variations have come along over the years, from incorporating interesting and tasty ingredients to differentiating with the type of potato used. It can be a great breakfast side with eggs, you can bake them instead of fry, etc. Though even just the traditional style are a great treat.

M - Mistletoe. Mistletoe has also evolved from the age-old offering located in boxes on store shelves -- many retail and grocery stores offer it fresh, either dressed with bows and bells or alone where you can do the decorating yourself. This is one holiday tradition that's always fun!

N - Nutcrackers. The classic nutcracker decorating is a holiday tradition. What's fun about this item today is that you can find them in fun forms like Disney characters, bold colors, and then of course on a range of holiday items from bathroom towels to canisters for cookies.

O - Ornaments. Many of us have more ornaments than we need, while others may just be starting to collect them for their holiday tree. But this holiday favorite also makes a great decor item elsewhere! Hang a group in uniform colors or styles around areas of the house, along windows or doorways, etc. You'll want to be sure to use plastic options anywhere that might be subject to being bumped, but otherwise anything can go here.

P - Packing. Holiday packing can be a challenge, in part because of the increase of things to dress for but also weather, etc. The key with packing is to remember to keep it simple by working around a specific few colors so that you can mix and match items easily. Set aside time to think out what you'll need to get dressed for before you start the work. Base everything around two or so shoes (one for casual, one for dress) and a single set or two of jewelry.

Q - Quiche. Holiday quiches are a tradition for many. Cut your cooking time by ordering yours from a local bakery, restaurant or online -- many online retailers quick ship great variations. You can cut corners and save time with pre-made pie crust, or work with a pie crust mix. Williams Sonoma has a crust mix that can do the trick.

R - Rest. Rest and relaxation during the holiday time can be a challenge, especially if you've got guests in town or kids. A great way to get a little R&R in the mix of any chaos is through good products for the shower, which you can use easily and quickly to make the experience a little more relaxing than usual. Lady Primrose has a pretty honey soap collection that is perfect for this. Or, if you've got the time, book a massage with you and your mom or other family member as a gift. It's a fun way to spend a little time with family and can make a great gift.

S - Stockings. The stocking isn't just a time-honored holiday classic -- it can also double as a gift bag, or even be a great gift on its own. Styles have without a doubt become more modern, cool and chic from the traditional so have a little fun with yours. It isn't just those who celebrate Christmas that can enjoy holiday stockings -- there are plenty of Hanukkah stockings in stores too!

T - Tree. The holiday tree has evolved to a full out experience with decorating ideas and items that completely transform this classic piece. Artificial trees look more real than ever and are a great eco-friendly option. Many are now available with lights already strung onto the branches. Tree shapes and sizes have also exploded in options -- tall and thin, short and full, big, small, you name it. Pick one that fits your space, taste or personal style and decorate it your way.

U - Under the tree. Speaking of the tree, tree stands and skirts, and under-tree decor items are cooler than ever, with plenty of great design variation and ideas. You can find just about anything that comes to mind, but don't be afraid to play with your own ideas. When it comes to gifts under the tree, store them in terms of size and as uniformly as possible to save space. Don't forget the fun idea of having an electric or toy train under yours. Kids love it! Though be careful with what you choose for under the tree with pets, making sure nothing can harm (or be harmed) by cats, kittens, dogs or puppies.

V - Vacation. Many use the holiday season to take vacation, be it to far away locales, ski lodges, or just visiting friends or family. If you'll be heading on yours, be sure to allow for extra time for travel and weather delays, both as you depart and arrive. New boarding facilities for pets skip cages for open formats, with plenty of interaction, activity and socialization all day long, versus the days of kennels and cages.

W - Wrapping Paper. Gift wrapping has gone to a whole new level! It couldn't be more fun and exciting. Wrapping paper today spans the entire spectrum of the imagination, or you can have fun with DIY ideas. Stores like Target have particularly modern paper options for gift wrap, but don't be afraid to use the unexpected. Anything can go so let your imagination play!

X - X-tras! Make sure you have plenty of extra items before the holidays start. It goes beyond things like drinks and food to staples such as toilet paper, paper towels, laundry soap, etc. Especially if you'll be hosting guests. If you're hosting a party, consider something like Stack Wines versus traditional wine bottles -- the wine comes in individual glass size servings in plastic so no worries about breaking glasses during the festivities, or washing dishes after the celebration ends.

Z - ZZZZ. Are the holidays finally over? Yes! Take a few days before New Year's Day to get extra sleep and rest so you are recharged for the year ahead.

For more chic and fun holiday gift items, food favorites, ideas, see Condiment's November edition at www.getcondiment.com

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Firsts

December 3, 2014, 2:48 pm

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Everyone had pimples. I didn't. Everyone had her period. I didn't. I never realized the two were hormonally related. Then, one day at 15, there it was, my "monthly friend." Aunt Flo. The crimson tide. Red River. Ridin' the cotton pony. On the rag. That time of the month. FINALLY, I was a member of my tribe.

I was a late bloomer, a sophomore in high school. I ran through the halls like the town crier announcing my triumph while holding a box, a rather large box, containing a big-ass Kotex pad. You remember, the one that came with a belt. A contraption that felt medieval. Until now, when I was excused from swim class due to my menses, I had lied to avoid suiting up and swimming laps in the chilly fall weather. I lived in Los Angeles. I was always cold. I still am. Years later, I put it together that people probably thought I was bragging-it-up about getting my period because I had missed the previous one, if you know what I mean. Losing my virginity would also be a late-blooming experience, as it didn't happen until I turned 18 and had already graduated high school.

That's my segue cue. I was visiting some cute boys with my adventurous friend Ginny. Ginny had a minor crush on one of the boys, Kevin. The boys lived in an apartment in Isla Vista while attending UCSB. They were surfer dudes -- so my style. I was just 17. Go ahead, sing the Beatles song. I'll wait.

We showed up at their door unannounced. Again, so my style. We had been given a vague invitation earlier that summer from Kevin, and were eager to make an appearance. We also planned on sleeping over, because that's the way we rolled. I'm sure when the boys answered their door and saw us with overnight luggage, they assumed they were about to get lucky. Unfortunately, I was about to get unlucky.

Over the course of the evening, I developed the biggest, gnarliest (a surfer word, so it's fitting here) pimple -- my virgin zit. A first. Right on my cleft chin. The cleft chin that had garnered so much attention my entire life, getting compliments from random people: "I love your cleft chin." The culprit -- red, bulbous and growing by the minute -- was just to the right of the cleft. I was hyperaware of this new growth. At the time, I thought it was because their apartment was a bit dirty, sandy, frat-house-y. Although both boys were really clean, the apartment had seen a lot of days and a lot of college students. We headed to the beach for a walk at night. The water, glistening in the moonlight, was calling to me. On the spur of the moment, I threw all my clothes off and dove in. Kevin's roommate Mark joined me. It was the early 70s. A freer time. We laughed. We flirted.

Ginny and I fell asleep on couches and in the morning, the zit was all I could see on my tiny face. As far as I was concerned, it was all anyone could see. We dressed and drove down the street, shopping for vintage clothes at Yellowstone Clothing. We ate lunch in the garden across the way at the local hippie restaurant. I ordered brown rice with veggies, smothered in melted jack cheese.

A few months later, I would experience another first. It was with Kevin's roommate Mark. I shed my clothes again. I wasn't sporting a zit that night.

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The Fake Stuff Makes Us Want the Real Stuff

December 3, 2014, 4:09 pm

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I was 10 years old, enjoying a scoop of ice cream, when my dad, a marketing director, pointed at a poster on the wall, and said: "did you know that the ice cream in that picture is really mashed potatoes?" I sat there, spoon in my mouth, noticing that the image of the fake stuff looked better than the cup of ice cream in my hand.

Things aren't always what they seem, and what you see isn't always what you get. Some bakeries release a fresh baked cookie scent to attract customers, and the cakes on display are decorated Styrofoam. Perhaps it is the imitation of something that leads to the desire for the real thing.

When people see a fur coat, it is unclear if it was made of processed and dyed polymeric fibers, or 20 dogs. Trends go viral because people copy what they see, and fashion relies on trends. In his NY Times article published in September 2007, Eric Wilson explained how "clothing manufacturers believe that copying is the business model of the industry, where what becomes fashionable relies on the mass dissemination of trends."

Fur, was once used for survival. As humans advanced, so did technology, and an abundance of materials were developed to protect us from the elements. Clothing evolved from function to fashion, and the dilemma of ethics arose. The 60s brought the film 101 Dalmatians, where the evil Cruella De Vil attempted to kill puppies for a diabolic fashion statement, (which at the time seemed outrageous). Animal Rights groups emerged in the 70's with models claiming they'd "rather be naked than wear fur." Fur was something you might have found in your grandmas closet; and by the late 80's it was considered "taboo." In fact, women were scared that they'd get paint thrown at them by animal rights activists if they wore it.

"Faux" fur, made of synthetic fibers, allowed the mass-market to get the same look without compromising lives and ethics. Animal rights organizations, helped promote the synthetic trend, hosting faux-fur competitions in fashion schools and encouraging designers to use the material in their collections. For a while, it was working. But then things got confusing.

In her article for the New York Times, Julie Creswell documents cases of real fur disguised as faux. Dan Matthews, vice president of PETA explains how "the lines between real and fake fur have blurred. Fur farms in China raise dogs for clothing and label it as "faux" in the U.S. because that's what the market best responds to."

"Investigations found that dog fur is still slipping into the country on unlabeled and falsely advertised jackets."- The Humane Society of the United States

According to the Congressional Record Proceedings and Debates of the 111th Congress, on Wednesday July 28, 2010, a labeling loophole allowed any piece of clothing with less than $150 of fur to be labeled without mentioning that it included fur, even if it contained as many as thirty rabbits, three foxes or a wolf.

Now, fur is everywhere. Over 500 designers are using it proudly. The global fur trade is expected to rise exponentially, currently at an all time high, valued at 40 billion, according to the International Fur Federation. This season, the widely promoted "Fur Now" Campaign, portrays men and women covered in fur, hiding the ugly truth behind a facade of glamour and luxury.

I wonder if the wearing and promotion of the "faux," normalized the style, causing the explosive resurgence of real fur back to the center of our culture. I believe that wearing anything that looks like fur advertises the trend and encourages others to dress that way. Keith Kaplan, of the Fur Information Council of America, explains: "People are still buying fur. If people were not buying it, stores wouldn't want to sell it." A loss of market demand will slow the needless suffering, and I believe that eliminating the "faux" could help lead to the trend's extinction.

It is a tremendous responsibility to know that what we buy and wear has an influence on the kind of world we have. Trends are contagious. We inspire others through the choices we make. If you care about our planet and its beautiful creatures, distance your wardrobe from anything that looks like it was taken from an animal. They need their fur more than you and I do.

For more information on what you can do to help end the trend, go to www.EveyClothing.com, and please stay in touch on Facebook.

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