52 Hours in San Francisco With a Former Fashion Editor

November 25, 2014, 7:23 am

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I spent a few days in San Francisco about a week ago, after getting word that fashion editor-turned-blogger turned So-Cal boutique owner Alicia Lund was hosting a unique pop-up shop and all her social media lovers, favorite bloggers, friends and family were invited. It's never too hard to consider a legitimate reason to head West (given the temperature here in NYC), so I packed my bags, turned on my OOO message and in the blink of an eye, I'm waking up on a 747 landing in the foggy 66 degree terrain far away from my boyfriend city. Prior to my arrival to the city by the bay, the city of digital techies, the land of Facebookers, Googlers and the capital of the gay community, I knew I was in for a treat; yet I was quite surprised to discover a rich, artistic culture and meet interesting people who quickly became new friends. That experience was unforgettable.

Aside from a much-needed break from the East Coast, I was excited to check out the clothing and the special collabs that you can really only get on the West Coast.. Alicia Lund from Cheetah is the New Black recently partnered with Cointreau for a special pop-up shop in San Francisco. Most recently, they have supported amazing events with various individuals in the creative, art and design world, just search #cointreaurickey on your social media platform of choice.

I chatted with Alicia at a delicious lunch spot called Bouli Bar, located right on the bay in the Ferry building. We discussed her career goals and in addition to her new store, Syllabus, that is located in her hometown Chico California. I couldn't help but sense a Southern vibe despite Alicia being a true California girl at heart. After a few years in New York, Alicia moved back to her hometown and expressed how weird the change was, but also how much of an inspiration it served for her store and its philosophy.


*Alicia looking radiant in an A.L.C. crop top and skirt.

"I'm thrilled to be partnering with Cointreau to bring a curation of my new women's store, SYLLABUS, and [introduce] some of my favorite New York brands to San Francisco. San Francisco will always be the city that feels most like home to me! I lived in here for over six years before moving to New York, and it's where Cheetah is the New Black began", continues Alicia. In the midst of this conversation, one of her people announced: "You're flowers have arrived!" And a big smile materialized across her face. I didn't know how exciting that statement was until the opening night of her pop-up shop, when everything started to make sense as I was surrounded by beautiful people drinking bottomless rickeys in an old piano barn. Still though, I got the feeling I was attending a special event, and as Alicia and I chatted more about herself, I think that it's admirable that someone who worked at Elle Magazine was able to transform and grow her career as a blogger and a purchaser of the trendiest clothing both in the market and in the magazines.


*Me touring HEATH CERAMICS factory

The next morning, I woke up super early to tour the Keith Haring exhibit at De Young Museum, I thought about all the events that ensued, and maybe the situations that fell short, yet still admiring the city for more than the men it attracts. Out of all the cities I've visited in the US, San Francisco can definitely top of the list for the most American-European landscapes. Sweater weather in the bay was the perfect way to end my stay with the most incredible pop-up shop presentation, as well as dinner at Bar Tartine, a restaurant owned by friends of Alice Waters.

In between shopping at stores like Unionmade, hanging out in Haze Valley, and going to museums, I made last-minute plans to see the Golden Gate Bridge. I took a cab to Chrissy Fields where Alicia told me to get coffee and walk along the beach, which was perfect because there's a cute little beach cafe, lots of bikers, runners and instagram worthy scenery. One thing to keep in mind is that there are no cabs or buses located nearby, so make sure you have enough time to get lost before you find yourself contemplating which person to ask for a ride to the nearest 7/11 in the Chrissy Fields parking lot. True life, it almost happened to me.

Overall, the Cali style and weather also reinforced the reasons why I love the designers I am currently rocking. That is, Equipment blouses for an easy and effortless look; Miansai: I finally got the bracelet on my wish list from the pop-up shop; and A.L.C , the brand Alicia wore the night of her party as she matched her decoration. It was all that can be envisioned if a fashion editor and a fashion blogger had a boutique where all their favorite things would be included in some way in addition to displaying any item they ever told their readers about. All in all, I got to attend a chic so-cal fashion party, toured a great city with nice views, and drank some amazing concoctions with meeting some amazing people along the way.

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The Big Bra Fit Lie (or Why Size Doesn't Really Matter)

November 25, 2014, 8:26 am

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Got bra fit problems? It's not your fault.

Sure, women's breasts are constantly changing and moving around on our chests. So it's easy to blame ourselves when a bra doesn't fit right. But let's not forget how bras are made, sized, and sold. Turns out we may wear more than one size, depending on the make and model.

Before you go shopping for your next bra, take into account the following:

1) There's more than one bra style to consider. Like boobs, bra styles come in all sorts of shapes. A push-up bra with a smooth, molded cup lifts breasts up into round mounds. A cut-and-sewn lace bra directs boobs front and center or into a point. A balconette separates breasts and makes the upper half (or "muffin top") more prominent. Add in unique boob shapes and you're bound to have bra fit problems, no matter the "right" number/letter size.

2) Bra brands use different methods to measure you. The measuring tape, and how it's used, isn't precise. Perfect fit is more trial and error, given all the different breast shapes and body types. Some brands and fitters measure you while wearing a 'fitting bra.' Others use the much maligned +4 bra fitting method to come up with your ideal size. If you're buying more than one style or brand (especially if made outside the US), you'll want to look at manufacturer or international fitting charts. Your number/letter size may not be the same in every bra.

3) Bra design, quality, and quantity of materials vary widely. Think about all the pieces that go into a bra: underwire, lace, padding, wide or thin straps, one or multiple hooks, etc. etc. Bras are subject to the same rules as the rest of the fashion world. Some clothes are made of higher quality fabrics or are so well-constructed, that they fit you like a glove. Others fall apart after one washing. The same holds true of bras. Cheaper materials, especially when asked to support the weight and motion of your boobs, won't wear as well. And before you know it, your "right" size is causing bra fit problems.

4) Cup size is not the same across bra bands (or why E can equal C). Sister sizing is term used to describe the way cup volume changes over the length of a bra band. It's another reason why your letter/number can vary. For example, the volume of a 34D can equal the volume of a 32DD or E (again, depending on brand) and a 36C. If your bra fit problem includes wearing too big a band, you're told to go down a band size and up a cup size. If you just reduce the band size, you'll end up in a smaller cup.

Given the realities of the bra industry, it's no surprise some 80 percent (and likely 100 percent!) of women wear the "wrong" size. Changing breast flesh matched with inconsistent styles, quality, and sizing make it hard to avoid.

Maybe it's time we all stop talking about "right" or "correct" size and accept a more fluid "Bra Zone." We can't find the perfect bra if we aren't open to trying a range of brands and styles.

My bra zone extends from 34D or DD to a 32E or F. My boobs fit best into a cut-and-sewn and demi-cup styles. It's less about the number and more about how the bra fits and makes me look in (or out) of my clothes. After all, no one sees the size anyway.

What about you? Do you wear the same size across all bra styles and brands? Do you think the bra industry could do more to address these bra fit problems?

This article first published on The Breast Life.

You've Got Grey Hair, Therefore You Need to Be a Blonde???

November 25, 2014, 8:28 am

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Are you of the mindset that if you have grey hair or when you start going grey it is best to cover it up with blonde highlights or solid blonde color? If so, you are not alone. I hear this all the time in the hair salon. As an Image Consultant who specializes in color, I can say that not everyone should color their grey hair blonde.

There are several key reasons for wanting to color grey hair:
1. To look younger and more vibrant.
2. To look more modern.
3. Wanting a new look to give off your best energy.
4. Because status quo may appear to dictate color over grey.

What is actually surprising is that coloring grey hair blonde can actually cause the reverse of the 4 items above. You could make yourself look older, dull and magnify skin imperfections such as wrinkles. OH MY!

Since your hair frames your face, if your coloring is not suited to blonde hair you will experience a magnification of all of the things you wanted to avoid.

If you color your hair blonde to cover your greys, OR, are considering putting blonde in your hair to cover greys, I HIGHLY urge you to visit a color analysis professional to confirm if the blonde color will help you to achieve your main reasons for going blonde in the first place.

Here are some thoughts to consider if you believe that covering up grey hair with blonde will mean less cost and fewer trips to the stylist:

• Is saving time and money worth it if you will likely look older and more dull?
• Blonde highlights cost more than solid color applications (sometimes double the cost).
• Hair typically grows at the same speed no matter what color it is (i.e. root touch-ups are required no matter what color is in your hair).
• There are color sticks that can be purchased to hide grey areas at the roots between visits to your hairstylist.

What are your reasons for wanting to cover up grey hair with blonde? Putting blonde in your hair may actually work against your reasons. Before you make another color appointment at your hair salon, I encourage you to find out if blonde is right for YOU.

I hope this article inspires you to wear your authenticity!

3 Steps to Align Your Appearance With the Law of Attraction

November 25, 2014, 8:33 am

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Wikipedia defines The Law of Attraction as "the name given to the belief that "like attracts like" and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results."

There are 3 steps to The Law of Attraction

1) Ask: clearly ask the universe for what you want
2) Believe: believe the universe is delivering what you want
3) Allow: the most important and difficult step for many people. This is the step where you need to emotionally feel in alignment with what you've asked for in order for your 'ask' to manifest.

Here's a great quote from the movie 'The Secret' to illustrate what emotional alignment is - "It's really important that you feel good. Because this feeling good is what goes out as a signal into the universe and starts to attract more of itself to you. So the more you can feel good, the more you will attract the things that help you feel good and that will keep bringing you up higher and higher" - Joe Vitale

So what do the appearance choices you are making right now have to do with The Law of Attraction? A lot, because like it or not your appearance choices contribute to the way you feel about yourself and to the vibration you are emitting into the universe.

Here's a great and simple exercise to gauge how your appearance is impacting your point of attraction this moment. Look at yourself honestly in a full length mirror. Really take in your appearance from head to toe (from your hair to your shoes). Do you immediately get a feeling of excitement and joy? Are your eyes more drawn to your face or does your hair and outfit overpower the authentic YOU?

If you are not happy with your responses to the questions from the above exercise, it's time to get your appearance into alignment with the Law of Attraction using these 3 steps:

1. Find out colors for your hair, clothing, accessories and makeup that are in alignment with you. By wearing your right colors you are guaranteed to look younger, healthier, more vibrant and feel great.

Everything in the universe emits an energy vibration, including color. A great holistic practice to test someone's energy vibration as it relates to different colors is Energy Muscle Testing. This is a practice whereby muscles are tested to identify whether thoughts, actions, feelings and things are in vibrational harmony with an individual. When someone is muscle tested wearing colors that are in alignment with them, their muscles are stronger thus giving off a higher energy vibration into the world.

I highly recommend you visit a color analysis professional in your area to find out which color palette is in synch with you. Your color palette is based on your internal composition. Once you know the colors that align with you, they will not change. This will be your color palette for life.

2. Find out hair, clothing and accessory styles that maximize the authentic and best you. Much like wearing your right colors raises your vibration and contributes to your emotional alignment, so does wearing hair, clothing and accessory styles that are in harmony with the best and authentic you.

The key elements of this step is to identify your body silhouette, personality and lifestyle needs. Sometimes it is really hard to take an honest look at ourselves to determine what are needs are in these areas.

As I was undertaking my own image consulting training, I uncovered that I had been misjudging my own body silhouette for years. I had always thought of myself much larger than I actually was. This is quite common and why I recommend you engage an image consultant professional or close style-savvy confidante for this step.

3. Implement your color and style needs into your appearance choices. This is the most fun and rewarding step and involves these activities:

• Cleaning out your closet to get rid of items that no longer serve your colour and style needs.
• Visiting a hair colorist and stylist to implement your hair colour and style needs.
• Visiting a make-up professional to receive training on make-up application that is in alignment with your color and style needs.
• Shopping to address wardrobe and accessory gaps you created when cleaning out your closet. You will find that once you know your color and style needs, shopping is so much more easy and efficient.

So now you have 3 steps to getting your appearance into alignment with the Law of Attraction.

What you are feeling in this moment represents your point of attraction and therefore represents what the universe is delivering to you in moments following (your future).

Are your appearance choices contributing to a feeling of excitement and joy with you? If not, there's no time like the present to review your image and ensure you are giving off your best energy.

I hope this article inspires you to wear your authenticity!

Why I Want To Be Buried In Sexy Lingerie

November 25, 2014, 8:36 am

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"Lingerie is not about seducing men. It's about embracing womanhood." -- Dita Von Teese

When my marriage was running on fumes, my ex-husband would send me to Victoria's Secret with instructions to pick out something to his liking. "Red," he would say. Or "animal print." Or, finally, in desperation: "anything you want," which at that point was nothing that might lead to sex, the sex that was between two people with wildly incompatible desires and personas.

When we separated, I downsized from a 3,000-square-foot house to a 1,300-square-foot apartment with my two kids. Lingerie wasn't exactly in my budget, but I bought some anyway. I found myself, once again, acquiring lingerie for the delight of a man, the first man I dated. He liked blue, and sparkles, so I selected a jewel-studded matching royal blue bra and g-string set. When that brief relationship ended, I stuffed the overwrought lingerie in the back of the drawer. It had been his taste, not mine.



I made this mistake one more time. Another man I dated wanted to see me in a pearl thong. He went out of the country on business, and I decided to surprise him upon his return. Good pearl thongs are not all that easy to come by -- in case you were wondering -- but I eventually found a beautiful one online that came in a discreet, slim box. He came back, and the relationship instantly evaporated. I folded the black lace band and two strands of pearls inside the box, and shoved it to the back of the drawer.



Since I was a teenager, I'd convinced myself that I should want what boyfriends wanted. I did this so much I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know that I didn't need permission to be who I was, that I was entitled to have my own opinion, even if it meant pissing someone off. And here I was at 50; I was not about to spend my golden years trying to make another man happy at my own expense.

So I decided to stop buying lingerie for men, and to start buying it for myself. I said yes to underwires and no to g-strings. Thumbs-up to thigh highs, thumbs-down to garter belts and stockings. Crotchless? Never again. Black panties? Can't have too many: polka dots, bows, lace, criss-crossed pink ribbon, delicate swaths of mesh, leopard-print piping.

Rarely have I met a black panty, thong, or boy short I didn't want to take home and slip into.



My 12-year-old daughter is both fascinated and horrified by the contents of my lingerie drawer.

"When do you wear this?" she asked recently, wrinkling her nose as she held up my black rubber corset with the tips of her fingers.

She doesn't approve of my thongs either, and thinks I should wear proper panties. Sometimes I wonder what it's like for her, growing up with a single mother who has become increasingly sexually empowered. I worry at times that it's embarrassing -- although virtually anything I do at this stage in her life is fodder for embarrassment.

I remember my own mother walking around in a white Playtex girdle. I never had a sense of her as a sexual being. I did, however, have a sense of her craving attention and validation -- for what, I'm not sure. But eventually that craving eroded into resignation.



What I've learned, at 52, is that searching outside yourself for validation is one long, lonely, meandering journey. If you're unfortunate, it ends at desperation. If you're fortunate, you arrive back at your own door, which you can choose to finally call home.

I'd like to get off the carousel of dating. I'd like to have the experience of showing up as myself with the same man, year after year. I don't know if that will ever happen, but I do know this:

Wearing sexy lingerie of my own choosing is something I do for myself. If a man sees it, likes it, and is happy to remove it, fine. But I won't be wearing it just for him. I'll be wearing it for me, to celebrate growing out of being a girl and into being a woman.

I'll be wearing sexy lingerie everyday, for the rest of my life.



Photography by Nick Holmes

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

Weekly Roundup of eBay Vintage Clothing Finds

November 25, 2014, 12:10 pm

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No time to page through thousands of eBay listings? Then just sneak a peek at my Weekly eBay Roundup of top vintage clothing finds.

This eclectic mix of designer and non-designer vintage clothing and accessories caught my discerning eye because of its uniqueness, contemporary feel and highly collectible nature.

As always, buyer beware! Be sure to read the listings closely and contact the sellers with any questions.

This week's Roundup includes items by Issey Miyake, Lanvin, Oleg Cassini and Burberry. Be sure not to miss the 1990s Chanel handbag, the Bonnie Cashin cashmere maxi dress, the YSL reptile shoulder bag and the 1950s crochet dress.

GET READY, GET SET, BID!!!
(Click on Pic for More Info and Auction Links)

Which item is your favorite? Leave me a comment below to let me know.

To receive the eBay Roundup of Vintage Clothing Finds via email, sign up for Zuburbia's mailing list here. Your information will never be sold or shared and you can easily unsubscribe at any time.

DISCLOSURE: Editorial selections are made by Zuburbia with no direct promotional consideration from the featured eBay sellers however Zuburbia may receive revenue as an affiliate member of the eBay Partner Network.

PLEASE NOTE that Zuburbia does not endorse the use of fur, feathers, leather or animal skins in fashion. Any of these selections are offered only as more thoughtful and eco-friendly alternatives for contemporary fashionistas who have not yet eliminated animal products from their wardrobes or for collectors who are seeking to preserve these items.

I Went to a Taylor Swift-Themed SoulCycle Class and We Need to Talk About It

November 25, 2014, 12:38 pm

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Anyone who has been within a five-foot radius of me (or follows me on social media) knows that I love Taylor Swift. And it's not just because we share the same name, birth year and penchant for red lipstick. We are kindred spirits. (But that is an entirely different post for another time, friends.)

What you might not know about me is that I am finicky when it comes to exercise. Historically, I've always been a Watch-Teen-Mom-While-on-the-Elliptical kind of girl and if I'm feeling particularly adventurous, I might partake in a Yoga to the People power vinyasa class in my neighborhood of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The shirtless yogis with man-buns might be part of this motivation, but this is beside the point.

If you live in New York City as I have for over three years, you also probably know that SoulCycle has become A Thing here. But as a twentysomething who would rather spend $34ish on a night out with friends drinking whiskey gingers than sweating in a dark room while being yelled at, I've never found it all that enticing. Still, blame it on curiosity (or the knowledge that T-Swift herself is a frequent SoulCycler with BFF Karlie Kloss), I've always secretly wanted to try a class for myself. When I heard that SoulCycle was offering Taylor Swift-themed classes, I knew the time had come to pop my cherry.

So last Saturday, I called up the SoulCycle location in my neighborhood and reserved a bike for the following Monday. I was asked what seat I would like. When I told the receptionist that it was my first time, she recommended that I take a spot in the third row, so that I could see the instructor but it wouldn't be too intimidating. Bike #47 would be mine.

By Sunday evening, I was feeling excited, but nervous. I was glad to have the support of SoulCycle, though.

@taylortrudon have a great ride!

— SoulCycle (@soulcycle) November 24, 2014

On Monday, the big day, I arrive 15 minutes early, as advised by a co-worker and SoulCycle enthusiast.

"Hi, this is my first time and I have no idea what to do," I tell the front desk.

The front desk ladies don't even bat an eyelash. Instead, they smile and introduce me to a bubbly redhead named Brooke. Brooke gives me a special pair of cycling shoes in my size and shows me to my locker, which happens to be #89. I am convinced that this is fate. Brooke then tells me that I can choose any four digits as my lock code, so naturally, I choose "1989" because duh. Once I have my snappy shoes on, I clickety-clack back to the front desk, where Brooke leads me into the dark studio and takes me to my bike.

"You're petite like me!" comments Brooke, as she adjusts my bike. Brooke is officially my new favorite person. I hop on it and she patiently waits while I attempt to click my special shoes into the pedals. Once I'm set, Brooke leaves me and I immediately want to call after her, "Wait, don't gooooooo." But she does. I am ridin' solo à la Jason Derulo in the third row. I am alone, but not lonely (because T-Swift is there in spirit, obviously).

Then our instructor enters the studio. Eve has washboard abs and is wearing tight, hot pink spandex leggings and a tie-dye sports bra. Her left arm is covered in tattoos. She looks like a badass DJ goddess who is ready to rave. I am wearing mismatched socks because they are the only clean ones I could find. Before we start, Eve prefaces our ride by joking that this Taylor Swift-themed class is "very out of character" for her, but that she's doing it for us. Everyone cheers.

"I Knew You Were Trouble": Our ride kicks off with a dub-step heavy remix from my beloved Red album. I am in a club and even though I do not like clubs (eff no I won't pay a $20 cover to freeze my ass off and wait in a line outside), this is my kind of party.

At first, I'm having a good time doing my thing. But soon, I notice that the cyclists in front of me are bending their elbows and chest in a weird way. I am confused. I have flashbacks to algebra class freshman year, where I would look desperately around the room with a does-anybody-get-what's-going-on? look. It is then I realize that we are supposed to be doing push-ups using the handlebars. OK. Right. I had heard about this push-ups business. I got this. However, I quickly learn that just as I cannot rub my stomach and pat my head at the same time, nor can I pedal 900 mph and do push-ups simultaneously with my arms. Not only does it seem like everyone else can do this movement seamlessly, but they are also pedaling on a beat. I look ahead at the mirror and I see myself grossly out of sync with everyone. In fact, it looks like I'm having a full-on body spasm. I should also mention that I am sweating profusely.

"Blank Space": "OK, even I love this song," Eve admits. Because we are in the dark and because I am obsessed with this music video, I take this opportunity to channel T-Swift and make as many ugly/insane/dramatic faces as possible. I hope there aren't hidden cameras in here. I try and sing the words, but it is very challenging so I mouth them instead. "You can tell me when it's over, if the high was worth the pain," sings Taylor. I don't know if this is worth the pain, but one of the Front Row Girls with long, blonde curly hair circa Fearless-era tosses her mane back and is straight-up smiling. [Side note: Who can SoulCycle with their hair down??] I am immediately suspicious of her.

"22": Taylor sings, "It feels like the perfect night to dress up like hipsters." One of the Front Row Girls lets out an enthusiastic "woo-hoo!" #williamsburg

"You're Not Sorry": I think. I can't actually remember, because this may have been the point where I blacked out. Eve encourages us to take a sip of water. I look down and see my bottle of SmartWater has fallen out of the holder and has rolled away on the floor along with my sanity. I feel panicked. Should I stop and attempt to disconnect my feet from the pedals so I can retrieve it? That sounds dangerous. But before I can make a decision, Eve yells out, "Give it another full turn!" LOL.

"Clean": Oh, good, a "slow" song. Plot twist! Eve tells us to increase our resistance. My legs feel like I'm moving through a swamp. I think about what I'm going to eat for dinner. I think about things that make me happy, like strawberry-frosted Pop-Tarts and laundry fresh out of the dryer and Harry Styles' hair. I wonder if I'm hallucinating.

"Shake It Off": It is time for the weights. "I see the dirty looks on your faces," says Eve. I see my life flashing before my eyes, but I do not say this out loud. The way Eve is bouncing on her bike is akin to me having drunk two Four Lokos. A single bead of sweat rolls down my forehead and onto my nose but I can't wipe it away because my arms are becoming numb from lifting two-pound dumbbells above my head, which feel like bricks. Does the "But my elbows are double-jointed!" excuse from elementary school still work in this scenario? This song must be some weird extended version, because it literally goes on forever. I hate these weights. I hate this class. I hate everything. But not Taylor. I could never hate her.

"This Love": The room goes completely dark and Eve tells us to close our eyes. I obey. I think about Lena Dunham because this is the song Taylor supposedly wrote for Lena and her boyfriend, Jack Antonoff. I wonder if they will walk down the aisle to this song. I wonder if Lena will still have neon-green hair by then. Maybe Taylor will be a bridesmaid. I bet she'll get teary-eyed a little. Eve continues to give what I assume to be positive affirmations, but for all I know, they could be Wiccan incantations because I am in such a daze.

"Welcome to New York": "This is the end of our ride," says Eve and my ears perk up. I guess that wasn't so bad, I think to myself, the way I assume a pregnant woman who goes into labor and pops out a kid a million hours probably does. At this point, I give it my all, pedaling as hard as I can. My legs burn. I am Karlie Kloss. I am a supermodel. I am a Victoria's Secret Angel and I HAVE WINGS DAMMIT.

It's over. I whip my feet out of those pedals as if they've been set on fire. We stretch while listening to "Bad Blood." I locate my runaway water bottle and chug it like a frat bro shotgunning a beer.

Eve then says that we should make this T-Swift-inspired class "a thing," but alas she will be in the Hamptons next week. I will be in suburbia for the holiday weekend eating Chinese takeout and wearing flannel pajama pants, but that is neither here nor there.

Back in the locker room, my fellow cyclists (who are clearly regulars) talk about coming back on Thursday for the "Turkey Burn" class. They are brave women, but I am not one of them. Instead, I hobble outside into the abnormally warm November air feeling accomplished, slightly disoriented and extremely sweaty. At the same time.

10 Tips to Save Big on Holiday Shopping

November 25, 2014, 2:31 pm

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Nothing says I hate my life like shopping for holiday gifts at the last minute. Last year I vowed to NEVER find myself in a line that snakes all the way to the back of the store, to buy over priced crap because I'm in a last-minute-pinch. So I made a plan. A really good plan to not only save time, but money too! Here are my best 10 tips to save BIG on holiday shopping... and not find yourself crying in a mile long line holding overpriced junk.

Before I get started, I need you to repeat after me...

I will not pay full price this holiday season

1. Plan ahead. Everyone's been naughty, just make the list already! Probably the biggest mistake I make is heading to the stores with a loose list of people to shop for, and a vague idea of what I want to get them. Nothing says FAIL faster! Make a list of anyone and everyone you may want/need to buy gifts for, then add your vague gift ideas... maybe even go so far as to just come out and ask them what they want. Then use this as your master list. Stick to it, and when that person has been taken care of, write down what you got them, and cross them off the list.

2. This is not about you! I am so bad about shopping for myself during the holidays. So bad. As much I am a huge fan of retail therapy, there are two major flaws with this:

1. My holiday shopping time and budget is limited.
2. The post holiday clearance sales in January are way better.

It's best to leave yourself out of the equation until after the holidays. Plus, won't it feel so much better trading in Auntie Nell's ugly sweater for the one you've had your eye on since the holidays... that's now half price!?

3. Leave the distractions at home. When possible, avoid taking your child(ren) with you. Even if this means trading all of your lunch breaks until January. Brown bag it and shop in peace. We all know, kids not only complicate the mission, they can make it costly needing extras... and don't forget the chance for meltdowns and diaper blowouts.

4. Price shop from home. There are way too many apps and websites available today to not to compare prices, both online and in stores. Pull out the list you made and start going through it before you start shopping. Write down where the best deal is, then check your list once finished for stores or websites that overlap. This can save you a bundle on shipping and time. Between the coupon apps and the compare-and-save apps, there is no reason to pay full price anymore.

Example: I needed a big ticket item from a big box hardware store. I went to their website, found what I wanted, then searched for a coupon code. I was able to save 20% at checkout with a coupon code I found on RetailMeNot.com. What made the deal even sweeter was that I opted for in-store pickup. This was fast, seamless and saved me time and money. DO THIS!!!

5. Crowd-Sourced Deals. There is a new trend going on where websites are crowdsourcing for cheaper deals. Basically, if 10 people show interest in an item, then the website reaches out directly to the manufacturer for a bulk buy rate, then passes the deal on. Look for theses deals on those big ticket items.

6. Coupon like a crazy person. Coupons are everywhere these days, don't buy without them! Don't just rely on coupon specific websites and apps, check the website for the store you are heading to. Many are offering in-store coupons.

7. Don't discount the discount sites. Websites like Amazon, Groupon, Zulily, Overstock, Wayfarer... all will be fighting for attention this season, so capitalize on it! Most are even offering free shipping on the smallest orders. I have each bookmarked this time of year to check quickly for steals on things on my list.

8. Shop Secondhand. What does every parent have in common at 2am on Christmas Eve/Hanukkah? They're putting together toys. So, if you are going to give your child a fully assembled toy anyway, why not just buy it secondhand, shine it up and slap a bow on it? Secondhand children's stores and higher end consignment shops have incredible deals on gently used items.

9. Hit up Pinterest and get crafty. Make something for the person that has everything. Every year I knit hats and scarves for family and friends. They all look forward to them now; some even put in orders for specific colors.

10. Regift it! Before you do any of the things on this list, grab a box and walk around your house filling it with crap you don't want anymore. Remember, your crap is another person's treasure. Somehow. Once you have filled the box, sit down and decide which friend/family member or what holiday party's Secret Santa you can gift the goods to.

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Remembering My Big, Fat, 1970s Thanksgiving

November 26, 2014, 6:44 am

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Thanksgiving is this week and I have to say, I'm excited.

I love my family's little traditions, from the paper cutout paper pilgrims on the doors and windows to the chalkboard turkey that we write "Happy Thanksgiving" on every year (what else you would write on a giant chalkboard turkey?) My mother and mother-in-law both come over, they each bring part of the meal and we have a low key feast with our two boys.

I'm thankful for the Thanksgivings my husband David and I share with the kids and with our moms. I'm also thankful for the memories I have of my childhood Thanksgiving celebrations.

It was a different time then -- no handheld devices, telephones brought to the table, no viral turkey videos and no uploading photos of pumpkin pie. Not that there's anything wrong with that last one, I thoroughly enjoy looking at pictures of pie.

But my 1970s Thanksgiving was a lot less of that stuff, and a lot more of this:

Car trip.
The week of Thanksgiving, my family and I would take a trip up north to Rochester, New York to visit my mother's family and stay at my grandparent's house. We did not go by plane or train, oh, no... no... no.

We went by automobile. SIX HOURS from Ossining to Ra-cha-cha sharing the giant couch like backseat with my brother, Mike. Back seat provisions included Nancy Drew novels, an afghan and those Handi-Snacks with the compartmentalized gooey cheese, crackers and red stick. The car trip in itself was like a vacation! My dad would smoke and crank The Doors and The Eagles on the 8-Track player, mom would cross-stitch and write down the menu for Thursday's big meal.

Sleeping on the davenport.
We saw mom's family twice a year, so this was a treat. Mike and I shared the pull out sofa (or "davenport" as Grandma would call it) in the living room. I remember Grandma in her housecoat (or "duster" Grandma would call it) sneaking downstairs at five in the morning on Thanksgiving to get the turkey (or "turk" for short... Grandma called normal things by different names) ready to put in the oven. I would get up and she would make me Cream of Wheat with lots of butter and brown sugar. I called that damn good.

'70s tablescape.
The centerpiece on the table was the same every year; it consisted of one of those felt turkey heads that you stick onto a pineapple (we used a wax pineapple from the fake fruit bowl) along with various ceramic pilgrims, Indians, and turkeys. Mom's brothers, my Uncle Bob and Uncle Tom, would amuse us all by having the ceramic pilgrims fight, make out, or dive bomb into glasses of water, pools of gravy or jello molds. I remember an Indian getting chipped after Uncle Bob catapulted him across the room with his fork. Grandma was not amused.




Broccoli with Velveeta.
Because yes I will eat my vegetables if you smother it with Velveeta cheese sauce. I will also pour some on my stuffing and dip my "turk" in the gravy boat full of bright orange "cheese food." Don't judge, it was the '70s.

Slideshows.
Grandpa was a photographer. At Thanksgiving we were treated to a Kodak moment, an old school carousel slide show of birds feeding from their hummingbird feeder, roses from the park by their house, or various shots of family and friends.



Dressing up like pilgrims.
Mike and I always sat down for our meal dressed as pilgrims, having brought hats or collars we had made at school with us to wear on Thanksgiving day. Do kids still do this? Make these hats? I hope so.



And of course there was the food which was tirelessly prepared by my mother and grandmother... buttery mashed potatoes, sweet sweet potatoes, stuffing from inside the bird, dressing from outside the bird, gravy, broccoli, that cheese sauce and of course, the "turk."

Today I still like to melt a little slab of Velveeta for my broccoli. No one else likes it that way... they must be nuts.

And when mom comes over for Thanksgiving dinner we still exchange a smile when I ask her to please pass the turk.

Lori's website, Drawn to the '80s, is where her 5 year old draws the greatest hits of the 1980's. Her blog, Once Upon a Product, is where she writes about important things like food, beauty products and her Mick Jagger obsession.

ALSO ON HUFFPOST:

Are You Being Bullied About Your Hair?

November 26, 2014, 7:31 am

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Do you feel as if you are being bullied about your hair choices?

On one hand, there are Black women and girls who eschew dangerous chemical relaxers and instead rock their God-given afro-textured hair, and often experience bullying as a result.

Husbands or boyfriends sometimes complain about natural afro-textured hair and even threaten to abandon their Black female mates if those women don't go back to creamy crack and Brazilian weaves.

Celebrity women and little girls are not exempt from hair-bullying. Solange Knowles, Blue Ivy and Tamera Mowry have all experienced vicious verbal attacks on social media surrounding their afro-textured hair. Members of the natural hair community are quick to point out that naturally straight haired women and children, no matter how disarranged their hair may be, never experience such furor.

Additionally, many Black women and girls who wear their afro-textured hair have experienced bona fide threats to their educations and careers. Tiana Parker, Vanessa Van Dyke , Tiffany Brian, Rhonda Lee and certain black women in the U.S. Army were either forced or nearly forced to leave their schools or places of employment due to institutional discrimination against afro-textured hair and hairstyles.

But women with relaxed hair also feel judged. They complain that they are accused of being sell-outs and self-loathers by "natural hair nazis" when in reality, they are just making a hairstyle choice that feels comfortable and convenient.

A new documentary entitled "My Hair My Voice" seeks to present a balanced perspective on women of African descent and hair. Nadirah Iman and Quenell Jones, the filmmakers behind "My Hair My Voice" interviewed me for the documentary. I discussed my children's book that honors afro-textured hair, "Sunne's Gift".

Courtesy of Milestales - Give the holiday gift of self-love and self-acceptance to the little ones in your life by buying Sunne's Gift for them.

I recently decided to turn the tables and ask the filmmakers some questions. Read the questions and answers below.

1. What inspired you twp to create the film?

The initial idea to make this film "My Hair My Voice" was derived from one particular conversation. Nadirah and Quenell watched a film at the Brooklyn Academy of Music (BAM). Upon leaving a young women walked by wearing a weave and Quenell asked the question:

Quenell: "Why are there so many Black women wearing relaxers and weaves?"

Nadirah: "I'm not exactly sure"

Quenell: "We should make a documentary"

Nadirah: "there is one about black hair already"

Quenell: "Why should there be only one?"

This conversation sparked a year long process of research and discovery. We proceeded by conversing with friends and family members about their personal hair stories, reading several books about Black Hair culture, and spending many hours at research libraries like the Schomburg Center in Harlem, NY.

2. How is your documentary distinct from other documentaries about black women and hair?

This feature length documentary "My Hair My Voice" is exploring the History, Science, and Art Form of Black hair. Our documentary will showcase the vast diversity of hair textures that exist within the natural hair culture. Also it explores the intimate perspective of a woman who is transitioning from relaxed to natural hair.

During the research phase of making this film Nadirah, the Director, decided to transition from chemically processed hair back to her natural hair. For the better part of a year of filming we have been documenting the evolution of Nadirah's hair journey.

3. What has surprised you the most about black women's testimonies regarding their hair?

Prior to embarking on the journey of developing "My Hair My Voice", Nadirah had a perception of African American women with looser textured hair. She presumed that they "have it easy" when it comes to hair grooming. It is a texture that Nadirah admittedly desired during her youth. What Nadirah was surprised to learn while listening to black women's testimonies was that many of them have very similar challenges of finding the right hair products to being ostracized for having looser textured hair.


4. When do you expect that the movie will come out?

Our anticipated time-frame for completion is towards the end of 2015.

5. What do you hope that viewers will take away from the movie?

"My Hair My Voice" wants the viewers to appreciate the unique history of black hair, respect the science, and admire the beauty of their own hair textures.


6. How can readers support the film right now?
The readers can follow our journey on our website and social media sites:
www.myhairmyvoice.com

www.facebook.com/myhairmyvoice

https://twitter.com/MyHairMyVoice

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqqC5rh4CNWQ17jO78jAmgQ

With our intention to showcase Black Hair across America, we have filmed in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Illinois for the past year. We are especially asking your readers to financially support our film, "My Hair My Voice", by contributing to our IndieGoGo campaign.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/my-hair-my-voice-a-documentary-film

Give the Gift of Sleep: Ten Dream Inspiring Presents by Rank & Style

November 26, 2014, 11:38 am

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You snooze, you win...with these ten dream-inducing gifts for the sleep lovers in your life! From friends who swear by their daily 8 hrs to family members who love spending weekends sleeping, we've got just the gifts for every category of 'sleepyhead' in your life. Browse through our top ten list of the best PJs, slippers, lotions and potions and give the gift of sleep this holiday season!



10. COSABELLA BELLA PJ SET AND ROBE
Price: Robe $98 / PJ Set $130, Buy at Nordstrom and Shopbop



9. EBERJEY GISELE PJ SET
Price: $97, Buy at Nordstrom



8. MADEWELL SILK BEDTIME TOP IN PENGUIN PLAY
Price: $88, Buy at Madewell



7. C. WONDER BUFFALO CHECK DOG TRAVEL SET
Price: $58, Buy at C. Wonder



6. BAREFOOT DREAMS BAMBOO CHIC DRAPE FRONT CARDIGAN
Price: $90, Buy at Nordstrom

Find out what tops our list of the best sleepy time gifts and while you're at it, consult our lists of the best monogrammed gifts, accessories for city girls, and fitness gadgets for everyone on *your* list!

My Favorite Things List Even Though I'm Not Oprah

November 26, 2014, 2:09 pm

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I'm not Oprah but who says she's the only one who can have a favorite things list!! Now I don't have an audience that I'm going to hand these gifts out to but this is MY list of favorite things for this holiday season!

1. Keds sequin gyms by Kate Spade sparkly comfy and they go with sooooo much they are a no brainer to add to your wish lists. Available at Kate Spade
2. The Charity Pot this moisturizing lotion has a light floral smell and is packed with cocoa butter but the best part of this is that LUSH donates 100 % of the sales (minus taxes) to organizations that work in environmental conservation , Animal welfare and human rights. Available at Lush
3. Cookies from the Honolulu Cookie Company . I just recently tried these cookies while in a Tommy Bahama store and OMG I have not stopped thinking of them since ! You can buy in Tommy Bahama locations or order online at www.honolulucookie.com
4. I am definitely a purseaholic, so of course no list is complete without one. I could at anytime come up with 20 purses I long for but right now the Kate Spade Street Floral Maise Satchel at Von Maur is definitely a beauty that I wouldn't mind seeing under the tree (well that and the large pink Balienciaga at Neimans. )
5. Dolce by Dolce and Gabanna is on my list as favorite fragrance right now Available at Sephora, Nordies, Von Maur and more.
6. The Glambox makeup organizer and display. This should really be at top of my list because I adore it so .With its acrylic body and roomy drawers it makes finding all your beauty supplies a snap. Can't wait to add one to my bathroom vanity. There are several brands that make these and they are all pricy but keeping your makeup in order will be worth the splurge.
7. Rose Champagne and/or Prosecco. Our family loves to indulge in these two drinks instead of typical wines on the holidays. You can also add a little cranberry juice or pomegranate juice to either to make a festive cocktail.
8. Buon Natale dinnerware from Sur La Table. I wait all year to pull out these festive dishes and serving ware. The fun holiday Italian scene makes me smile and is a tradition in my house. Sur La Table has carried this line for several years but when I need a piece to match any of my existing sets and can't find I head to www.replacements.com They have endless patterns and you will be able to add to any collection.
9. Mac brush set Every year at the holidays I add to my Mac brush collections by picking up one of the holiday sets. It's an affordable way to update your brushes because you can grab a set for the price of normally one brush ! You can't beat these holiday set deals. This year I'm eyeing Keepsakes/M•A•C Studio Brush Kit It gives you near-endless options and includes Powder Blush Brush,Foundation Brush,Tapered Blending Brush, Fluff Brush and Eye Liner Brush. All come packaged inside a limited-edition cream glitter makeup bag with pearl beaded trim and a cameo-encrusted zipper pull. Available at Nordstrom, Macy's or Mac stores.
10. Dipytique candles. Yes you can buy candles much cheaper than these but you will never find a candle with the intoxicating scent these fill your home with. They come in a variety of gorgeous scents and I find it hard to narrow down my fav. Available at Neiman Marcus or www.dipytique.com

Black Friday and Cyber Monday Shopping Tips

November 26, 2014, 5:05 pm

≫ Next: 5 Steps to Efficiently Tackle Discount Racks This Black Friday

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It's the biggest shopping season of them all, but Santa isn't the only one who should be checking his list twice. If you were planning on shopping for an amazing holiday outfit or thoughtful gifts for friends and family? This is a great time to do it. However, a successful weekend of shopping is all about planning. It can mean the difference between the satisfaction of getting all your holiday shopping done a month in advance and waking up on Tuesday with a shopping hangover or buyer's remorse. Here are 10 things to consider as you move into the weekend.

1. What is Black Friday?
   It's the day after Thanksgiving. This year, that's November 28th. The day is marked by major sales and discounts. It's called Black Friday because the day puts retailers "in the black" e.g. making a profit.



2. What is Cyber Monday? Before the internet, we only had Black Friday. People would wake up extra early to go shopping for deals. There was coffee involved. That still happens but Cyber Monday started as a day of online deals for people who don't want to brave the crowds or cold on Friday. However, most shops have Black Friday sales online now too, so it's worth checking out online deals early Friday morning.



3. Which one should I shop, Friday or Monday? Here's my advice. Some discounts go live Friday and some items will sell out. If you have your heart set on something and it goes on crazy sale Friday? Buy! If you are shopping in general, are flexible, and want the deepest discounts? Wait until Monday!



4. What is this Small Business Saturday I heard about? It's a day to support local businesses. Is there a small shop in your town you love? They might have great after-Thanksgiving sales too. Check them out because small businesses keep communities thriving.



5. What makes a good discount? Because I'm a fashion blogger, I've had a sneak peak at many of the best deals in fashion during this year's shopping weekend. Many of the discounts I've seen are 30-50 percent off. I personally wouldn't accept less than this range. Like many others, I will be posting my favorite deals on my blog at the stroke of midnight on Friday.



6. I am against the commercialization of holidays and this post offends me. I totally understand, however it still stands that this is a great time for deals. If you were going to shop anyway, this is a way to stretch your dollar. I personally don't like the idea of shopping on Thanksgiving and think it's perfectly fine to avoid stores that make their workers miss the holiday. Thanksgiving should be spent with loved ones, not fighting with a stranger over a BluRay player. Friday, Saturday, and Monday are more than enough, and you can do much of it from your home in your pajamas.



7. I'm definitely shopping, what can I do in the meantime? Plan ahead. Who are you shopping for? Yourself? Friends? Family? First, decide on an overall budget and stick to it. Remember, the weekend should be about shopping smart.



8. What's a good Black Friday or Cyber Monday shopping strategy? Pull up your favorite shops and compare the deals. The internet is always open so Black Friday starts at midnight. If you find something you absolutely love, buy or risk it selling out. If you're just window shopping, keep looking so you make the best choices. Keep notes of all purchases and expected packages. Don't make impulse purchases. If you're shopping in-store, bundle up and wear comfortable clothes and shoes. Be kind to others; you're not going into battle. At the end of the day, it's just shopping.



9. Help, I'm scared to shop for clothes online! Know your measurements and use the size charts. If you are like me, you'll be grabbing that extra serving of stuffing (my favorite) the evening before - and the morning after. So know your size before then so you can ensure a perfect fit.



10. Stay Connected Follow me Instagram @pinklip or visit my blog, jaymiranda.com to get updated about the best Black Friday and Cyber Monday fashion deals of the year. Ready? Set. Shop!

5 Steps to Efficiently Tackle Discount Racks This Black Friday

November 27, 2014, 6:11 pm

≫ Next: Plus-Size Holiday Fashion: Tutus, Sequins, and Standing Out

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Black Friday. What a great opportunity to find quality clothing brands at discounted prices. No doubt there will be a multitude of different clothes and accessories from various designers and brands out there, all at a bargain.

For some shoppers it is a thrill to sort through all the racks and find hidden gems, while for others shopping the discount racks can be overwhelming and time-consuming, particularly if they do not like shopping or if they have little time on their hands.

But not to worry! There is a way to minimize your shopping time.

Here are five easy ways to efficiently tackle the discount racks on Black Friday while ensuring you are choosing clothing that represents the best you.

1. Go only to the racks that have the items you are looking for. Racks typically are split up by garment type and sometimes lifestyle. Therefore, if you are looking for a particular style or item, you only need to go to the rack that houses that particular item. The key here is to stay focused.

2. Only look at clothing that is in your color palette. Once you've reached the rack that has the garment type you are looking for, scan the rack for items that are in your seasonal color palette. You will find that this will quickly eliminate items you should not be entertaining. (Note: If you do not know your seasonal color palette, I recommend you visit a color-analysis professional in your area. Once you know the colors that work best for you, it makes shopping so much more efficient, fun and rewarding.)

3. Only look at clothing in your size. Now that you've found an article of clothing that is in your color palette, check to see if they have the item in your size. Only entertain pieces in your size.

4. Determine if the style is right for you. You are now at the rack with the garment type and size you are in search of and have found an item in your seasonal color palette. Take the item off the rack and look at it and ask yourself if the style of the garment works for your body silhouette, lifestyle and personality needs. Imagine yourself wearing the garment. If you like the garment after this exercise, put it aside to try on. Repeat this step for all items on the rack that match your seasonal color palette.

5. Try on all items you have selected and buy. The final step! You've completed steps 1 to 4 above and now have a few items to try on either together as an outfit or independently. This step is a must. As you try on each item, ask yourself how you feel in the garment (for example, confident, excited). How will others perceive you? Is this garment giving off your best authentic energy? Purchase items for which the answers to these questions are in alignment with the image you are hoping to project.

Now you have the five easy, efficient steps to finding great-quality discounted clothing on Black Friday, and you can be done with your shopping in no time all!

I hope this blog post inspires you to wear your authenticity!

Plus-Size Holiday Fashion: Tutus, Sequins, and Standing Out

November 28, 2014, 2:38 pm

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This one is for the plus-size girls and women out there who've ever dressed to blend into the background during the holidays. Like many, I went through a period in my adolescence where I didn't like anyone to take pictures of me. Remember the days before digital or forward facing cameras? You had to pay to develop the film and wait to receive photos, only to get them and think, "Ugh, do I really look like that?" They made me wish I were invisible.

Someone once told me that you have to do what makes you scared, so that you'll never be scared again. So, somehow I became a fashion blogger.

When you're a plus-size girl, dressing up is a way of saying, "Not today, world!" I lucked out, because my coming-of-age was fortuitously aligned with the rise of on-trend, plus-size fashion. I think you can change your life one dress at a time. These days, there's no way I'd opt out of gorgeous holiday fashion, or family photos. Here are three holiday looks inspired by the beauty of this time of year.


Sweater by cushie b, Skirt by Ouma Etsy

Are you in the mood for romantic plus size fashion these holidays? This champagne-hued tutu skirt is pure love. You'll feel a little bit like Carrie Bradshaw -- minus all the character flaws -- I promise. It's a stand out party look with fancy sweaters and jackets alike. Get ready to twirl.


Dress from ASOS, Heels from J Crew

A sequin shift is a bold choice for plus sizes, and a fun one to wear. This look was inspired by the lights of the season. I love those big bright bulbs -- the glass ones that are apparently too dangerous now. LED lights just don't compare. This dress is somewhere between copper and rose gold, and would be an unexpected choice for New Year's Eve.


Jumpsuit: ASOS, Coat: Melissa Masse

Minimalist fashion is all over runways and magazines, so I wanted to do a holiday version of this trend in plus-size. I was able to do it with gorgeous tweed coat with metallic threads running throughout. For this day, I wore it over a black jumpsuit and tried to think Kim Kardashian thoughts. It's the kind of coat that will help you make an entrance at all the parties.

May all your selfies be perfect and may all your holidays be bright.

You can follow my carefully curated shots which make my life seem much more beautiful than it really is on Instagram @pinklip. Or check out my fashion blog jaymiranda.com.

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Saturday Night FOMO

November 29, 2014, 11:52 am

≫ Next: Let Your Style Be Your Gateway to Living Authentically

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It's Saturday night, and I just put on my new favorite knit sock-slipper hybrid.

Hibernation season is upon us. Some will embrace the cold weather; other people will shun it, pretend like it doesn't exist, and continue to wear short tight dresses clubbing despite the continuously dropping temperature.

As a relatively young human being (22), I have a tendency to force myself out on the town Friday and Saturday nights. The reality is though, I am ashamed, embarrassed, and mostly confused as to why I prefer to couch-coast rather than club-hop. Throw in a good coming-of-age book with an assortment of chocolate, and that's it, I'm sold. This is what my shrink would call a "post-college identity crisis," but that's another story.

What is the downside, you might ask, of not going out? FOMO (fear of missing out)! By not going out to a club, am I missing out on meeting new friends, making new memories, and having crazy stories to tell at dinner parties? Maybe. But, the point is that I have learned how to counteract and distract myself from this fear.

As someone who primarily works out to wear my new soul cycle gear, it's safe to say my favorite new articles of clothing influence my plans. Seeing as most of my evening ensembles don't really match with wind, rain, or snow, that gives me extra incentive to stay home at night. I like to think this is true for most people, but my various social feeds inform me otherwise. This season though, instead of dresses and "going out tops" I'm splurging on loungewear and sleepwear. In the hopes of lessening weekend FOMO, staying warm and comfortable while looking effortlessly cool, my favorite staying-in outfits are as follows:



Descending from left to right: J.Crew, Skin, The Sleep Shirt, Edith A. Miller for J.Crew, Gap, Three J NYC



Descending from left to right: DKNY, Eberjey, PJ Luxe, Eberjey, Eberjey, Calvin Klein

Let Your Style Be Your Gateway to Living Authentically

November 29, 2014, 4:03 pm

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I am currently 40 years old. Up until a few years ago, the authentic me was in hiding in most areas of my life. My hide and go seek act was driven by my limiting beliefs of me and the world around me.

In my mid 20s I started working in and rising up the corporate ladder. In my mid-30's I was working in production management on film sets with some of the top film industry professionals, including Forest Whitaker, Andy Garcia and The Trailer Park Boys. I'm not a name dropper, I'm just trying to set the context here of the life I was living. I had large personal and financial responsibilities as well.

I was miserable and on the inside felt miles away from being successful. On paper it appeared I was living a successful life. How could I not be ecstatic? Now looking back I can tell you that I was miserable because I was living a life that others wanted for me and was not being me. I got caught up in the daily grind.

How did I start stepping out on my current path to living more authentically? I have come to realize my style choices played a major role in my journey. I know this may seem ridiculous, but, hear me out.

When I worked in the corporate world, I used to feel awkward every day wearing my corporate costume. I'm not knocking business attire here, nor am I knocking working for a corporation. I'm just saying that the look and the lifestyle was not aligned with the authentic me. I've always felt like I come alive when I'm wearing outfits that show off significant creativity and fun.

One day while working in a leadership role for a major national healthcare organization, I woke up and said screw it -- today I'm going to wear a fascinator to work with my favorite matching cocktail dress. I was terrified as I was traveling to work that day, however, I felt so alive.

To my surprise when I arrived at the office, my colleagues commented that I was giving off a vibrant energy. People were extremely friendly to me. I found my conversations and decision-making processes went smoothly. I was thinking clearly. Now I know the energy and smoothness of my day was driven by me displaying my authentic self, which tapped into me feeling great and attracting circumstances that continued my great feelings.

From that point forward I wore clothing and accessories that gave me a feeling of being on cloud nine and continue to do so. Now just three years later I have attracted and am continuing to attract a career, people, places, events and things that I feel are in alignment with the authentic me. My life on paper is completely different than it was just three years ago and to some may seem less successful. The major difference is that I am now happy and feel successful. There are negative situations that arise, but, I handle them in a manner that is more connected to my authenticity.

It all started with me having the guts to show up at the office in an outfit that made me feel like a superstar. Aligning my appearance to display who I authentically am was truly the gateway to my life overall getting into alignment with my authenticity.

If you woke up today feeling miserable about the day ahead, I recommend you put on an outfit you feel like a superstar in and see how your day plays out. If you experience a day similar to my experience noted above and would like to continue along your new found style awakening, here are some subsequent steps I recommend.

1. Find out and start wearing daily your seasonal color palette - If you are not wearing colors in your hair, makeup, clothing and accessories that are in alignment with you, our eyes are distracted by the colors. We do not easily see you. You cannot even see you clearly when you look in the mirror.

Visit a color analysis professional in your area to have your best colors revealed to you and implement their recommendations. This will be a truly profound experience.

2. Wear styles daily that display your authentic personality - If you are not wearing hair, clothing and accessory styles that are in alignment with your personality and the times, you may be feeling unbalanced and unhappy deep down.

This step is a little tricky to implement for some. If you've been playing hide and go seek for most of your life, you may have lost track of your core self.

I recommend taking baby steps by finding and wearing hair, clothing and accessory styles that give you a feeling of excitement and joy from the first second you put them on. A feeling of immediate excitement and joy is an indication of being in alignment with your core self.

If you put on something and have an immediate feeling of excitement and joy and then start second guessing yourself with thoughts like - what will others think/say? I need to lose weight, where would I wear this to? I feel guilty about spending money on me. Please stop the second guessing. This is more than likely your ego, not your core self. Your core self has an abundance of love and kindness for the authentic you.

Are you feeling like you are living a life out of alignment with who you really are? You now have a process to allow your style choices to kick-start your journey to live more authentically.

One of my favorite quotes is "The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with" - Tony Robbins. Take a leap of faith into uncertainty with your style choices only if it's for one day by wearing an outfit that makes you feel like you are on cloud nine. Sit back and immerse yourself in what you attract. I am excited for you!

I hope this blog inspires you to wear your authenticity!

Gratitude Beauty: My Favorite Color Cosmetics for Gifting, Receiving, and Glowing Compliments (Or, Colors of Gratitude in Action)

December 1, 2014, 12:30 pm

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I love green beauty! Not unlike a truffle pig, I enjoy unearthing precious delights of mind-body care. It's of utmost importance to me that the products I allow into my space are both high-performing and cruelty-free; effective and organic; sophisticated and vegan/beegan. You shouldn't settle for anything less than what genuinely thrills you, and that includes color cosmetics. I've curated a collection of some of my favorite green beauty treats that I've (repeatedly) purchased. You know something's fabulous when you put your money where your beauty is. And these goodies are magnificent for gifting and receiving. Hugs & kisses guaranteed.



100% Pure: Ah, their lip products are exceptional! Ultra-pure, beautiful, convenient. Lip Glaze is their version of a lipstick. The texture's creamy without being shapeless; the colors are naturally rich; the smell is pure & luscious. Some of my favorite colors are "Fig," a genius mauve; "Cherry," a tantalizing, instantly uplifting, and wearable pinkish red; and dewdrop "Raspberry," a sheer glee red with a gelee-like consistency (all the others are full-coverage creamy). Pure's Lip Glosses are the crown jewels of glosses in my book. Of course, the ingredients are superb; the colors range from sheer reds to more opaque pinks and mauves. Delightful.


Ilia Beauty: If you're wanting bold color, look no further. Ilia's Lipstick comes in a variety of impactful shades & sophisticated packaging. "Ink Pot" is my all-time favorite; you can build it up to an intense deep violet. If you're going for saturated color but not a full-blown gala mouth, a couple swipes will have you feeling even more cool & chic than you already are. Ilia's Multi Stick makes for a fabulous, long-lasting cream blush. "Put a Spell on Me" is a glorious tangerine that looooves warm skin tones. When I'm feeling extra fancy I like to dab a wee bit of the cool pink called "Tenderly" on the apples of my cheeks. Voilà, the axes of the color world have shifted.


Tata Harper: Tata's Volumizing Lip & Cheek Tints have quickly become adored staples in my routine. Tata made them so of course they're skin care with a French kiss of color. "Very Sweet," a soft peach with a sophisticated luminescence, works magically both as subtle blush and highlighter. Her new holiday duo "Very Nice" (matte sculpting nude) and "Very Naughty" (vibrant glossy red) is a must-have. You're welcome. Eagerly anticipating the Tata Bronzer now.


RMS Beauty: I've used RMS' Living Luminizer for a number of years. While I've test-driven other highlighters, this one is the pinnacle miracle to glowing cheekbones. Get it, you'll love it. Another RMS product I'm fond of is Un-Powder. The name says it all: it'll keep your complexion fresh and brings down the shine in the areas you want without looking as if you just ran through a lumber mill. Instead, it feels like silky petal powder air-brushed on by fairies. Finally, their Lip Shine is very comfortable to wear, lives up to its name and also comes in the signature RMS frosted glass pots. "Sacred" celebrates goddessdom in a juicy drench of watermelon pink. "Royal" packs an unexpected punch of cosmic lavender which provides a refined edge. Now if they came in a lipstick format they'd be ideal for hygienic on-the-go application.


W3ll People: Hallelujah! Their Expressionist Mascara is the best mascara I've ever come across.


Tatcha: Their Blotting Paper is the most convenient way to remove excess shine wherever you are. Clean & chic. Love that the sheets are flecked with gold. If you're in a pinch, a piece of a clean brown paper bag will do too. Not as elegant, though.


Vapour Beauty: Stratus Luminizing Primer in "902" is key to a beautifully radiant complexion in seconds and doubles as a healthy primer. It's my all-time favorite color complexion cosmetic! I also thoroughly enjoy their Solar Translucent Bronzer in "Mirage 221." Great for easy contouring.


Alima Pure: My favorite Brushes! So well-made, beautiful, and kind. Alima's offering great brush sets for holiday gifting and receiving. Moreover, some of their Satin Matte Eye Shadows double as brow perfectors. "Raven," a greyed brown, looks naturally gorgeous on brunettes.


Scotch Naturals: Finally a no-stink polish! Scotch's Water-Based Nail Polish is my most desired way to adorn my nails. Fashion colors, a sticky base coat that extends the life of your flawless hues, and a high-gloss top coat make for a luxe treat. I've played with a number of 3- and 5-free polish brands, and while some are really nice, Scotch wins my heart because it's the cleanest.



I hope you've found sparkling inspiration and/or re-discovered a healthy treat. Green beauty is so much fun! It allows us to play, create, celebrate & express ourselves in so many powerful ways. Share your favorites with me on social with #GratitudeBeauty.

Be yourself. Go organic. And keep in mind: joy is the best cosmetic.

F**k Authority: How Two Little Words Led to One Cool Street Wear Brand

December 1, 2014, 2:47 pm

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Could you describe yourself in two words?

That's the question I asked myself after watching Snoop Dogg's video for 'What's your Pleasure?' his smooth, smoky collaboration with Daz Dillinger. In this vid Snoop, who it seems has no trouble with the task, wears a T-shirt emblazoned with 'F**K Authority'. Personally I couldn't imagine a more succinct description of the man.

Still amused by the idea, the following day I typed F**k Authority into a search engine and discovered the near impossible story of how a small, unknown Australian fashion label ended up on Snoop's chest using only a clipboard and an enormous pair of kahunas.



This company, called coincidentally Authority, could well be the coolest streetwear brand in the world right now, and is certainly one of the most innovative. Giving fresh meaning to the term 'streetwear', the brand, founded in Melbourne in 2012, works with up and coming artists, seeking out cool, gritty and often forgotten urban locations and funding elaborate installations, which they then document on video, before finally creating limited edition T-shirts featuring them. But this isn't some hastily sprayed, scrawled graffiti; these projects go far beyond that, creating something unique, and quite beautiful, something that can bring people to a halt in front of them. Something that brings a little wonder to what were once just bare walls in ignored places.



Authorities founder Chris Skyner, told me, "The really unique thing, I guess, is that we add a removable swing tag to the t-shirt featuring the name of the artist and the exact GPS location where you can find the original piece."

Self-taught designer Chris began selling his work in markets around Melbourne, funding it through multiple jobs in the cities bars, clubs and restaurants. "Originally they didn't sell quick," he told me, "Actually they didn't sell at all. I just couldn't move them. But instead of giving up I planned another wall. A much bigger wall. This time with two artists; Steen Jones and Alex Lehours"



This project, which became known as the Bieth Street Project, catapulted Authority into the Australian press and right across social media. It's a strange piece, simultaneously macabre, playful and ironic, something that brings a wry smile to your face, even if you can't place why. But Chris, who it seems, was born with more than his fair share of confidence, set his sights on something even bigger. Snoop Dogg.



When the star appeared in Melbourne, Chris, and his previously mentioned kahunas rocked up to the venue with a clipboard and a well built personal trainer friend in tow claiming to be Snoop's agent and bodyguard. In what can only be described as an epic display of tactical bulls**t, he somehow managed to talk himself into the dressing room claiming he was there to drop off outfits for the show.

Unfortunately that night he was disappointed to find them nowhere to be seen, marking it down in life's 'worth a try' category. Then two weeks later a picture turned up on Instagram of Snoop wearing it. Shortly after came the video for 'What's your pleasure?'



With new work sold only as pre order now and selling out almost instantly, plans to enter Europe and the US, as well as major collaborations with Rolling Stone Magazine and a new Skateboard arm of the company in the works, you suspect it's only a matter of time before world domination becomes a reality for Authority, Chris and his kahunas. And good for them, the world's too short of people willing to task risks, willing to put their clipboard where their mouth is.

Personally having talked to him I have no doubt that when man first steps out onto Mars they'll somehow find themselves wearing one of his shirts.



Dan Miles is the cult bestselling author of Filthy Still - A tale of travel, sex and perfectly made cocktails.

How to Love Your Body at Every Size and Every Number

December 1, 2014, 3:01 pm

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Recently I interviewed Laurie Ann Goldman, the former CEO of Spanx, as the keynote presentation at the annual luncheon for The Commonwealth Institute, a fantastic nonprofit organization which helps women-led businesses become and stay successful. I was really looking forward to interviewing Laurie Ann since she has had such a successful career. And as someone who is fascinated by how women's perceived images of themselves ultimately affects their success, I was especially interested to hear from the former CEO of a company whose products directly correlate to body image. Laurie Ann held the room with compelling stories and advice for women, but it was actually one of her side comments, as part of a larger point she was making, that really stuck with me. She said that one of the biggest sellers at Spanx were their products in XS.

That seems somewhat counter intuitive -- some of the skinniest women (a trait prized in our society) feel the most insecure about their bodies?

So then, does it really matter what size you are? To succeed in business? To be happy in life? To be happy with your body?

Lately there has been an increasingly elevated conversation around women's bodies and body images. An interview in Elle with plus size Calvin Klein model Myla Delbesio received a lot of attention as well as negative backlash. Then Vogue.com published a pictorial of fuller figured lingerie models. Does this mean that fashion magazines are finally embracing "real" women?! But aren't skinny women real women, too?

I am not exactly sure what I feel about all of this. Throughout my adult life I have fluctuated between being a 2 at my skinniest and a 6 at my heaviest. And having an online show, I am often confronted with very unflattering sitting angles of myself and vacillate between deciding I absolutely must lose weight and being happy as I listen to my interviews and the incredibly inspiring answers of my guests. Leading them through these conversations and sharing their wisdom with others must make up for that unsightly layer that appears in my middle when I am sitting down. Right? And after all, I do Pilates, eat right and standing up, at least, I have a pretty flat stomach, which has always been my barometer of body success.

And yet, I weigh myself every morning and am irritated when I am up and pleased when I am down a few pounds.

Rationally, I know to respect my body for being healthy and strong and creating two amazing kids. But I hate my cellulite, my rosacea which gives me a more than rosy glow at inopportune moments and various other things which go along with being a 44-year-old woman.

Do I love my body or do I hate it? Should I push myself to lose weight? Or should I stop weighing myself all the time? Should I love how I look? And most importantly -- what messages am I sending my 15-year-old daughter and how can I make sure to instill in her to love her body when I am not entirely sure I love mine?

Exercise, eat right but have that piece of cake as life is short and people come in all shapes and sizes. Or deny yourself and feel virtuous?

I was at a dinner party at my friend's house not too long ago. My friend is in great shape and loves to work out. She was talking to a very thin woman who we had just met who had had the flu the week before. Together they were discussing how when they were stressed or sick, as this woman had just been, they get so thin they practically disappear. Which they each seemed somehow pleased about.

Except for when I was getting divorced (refer to size 2) I have never been in danger of "practically disappearing" and am not sure why that is a good thing. In fact, I actually do love my curves and most of the time feel confident in how I look and feel.

The other day I tried on a pair of jeans and my daughter said they made my butt look big which of course made me want to immediately take them off. No, mom, she said, that is a good thing.

Beyoncé, and Kim Kardashian and a host of famous women can be thanked for widening the spectrum of the different shapes and sizes that women come in and have taught my daughter and her friends to more readily embrace the shape they are.

So what is the answer? Love yourself at any size? Every size? No matter what your size?

I think the answer is, love yourself because you are you. Be confident in yourself because you are you. Don't let the size you are dictate how you feel about yourself or how much confidence you have. And if you don't like the size you are -- work to change it. For me, I've decided to keep the jeans my daughter likes but start going to Pilates an extra day a week -- and consider having my guests stand while we do our interviews (not really the last one). Because being strong and healthy is better than any number. That much I am sure of.